Not Enough
by Connecticut Junkie
Summary: *Ch. 15 up* Hey! Got some semi-Resolved Sexual Tension! ** Lorelai drinks coffee. Luke wears flannel. And yet, their lives are changing, because what they had before was good, but it's not enough.
1. Chapter 1

Author: Connecticut Junkie

Title:  Not Enough

Rating: PG-13 for now, though it'll most likely get higher.

Summary: Lorelai wants things to be the way they were. What she doesn't know is the Luke wants more- and that she wants more as well. (L/L, lightly R/J) Post S2

Notes: I started working on this in the beginning of July, and I had a moment of freak-out just now when I realized the season premiere is only hours away. I wanted to wait until this was done as to avoid any unintentional influence from the 3rd season, but I'm afraid if I don't start posting this now, I won't post it at all and then I'll have wasted the many, many hours I spent writing.

Disclaimer: All the characters have "Property of Amy Sherman Palladino and the WB" stamped on their asses like cattle. In other words, they're not mine.

I ripped the title from U2's new song because I haven't been able to come up with one in over two months and well, I love U2. Insanely. Every ring on my cell phone is a U2 song. So I apologize for the sucky title.

*                      *                      *

You're in my mind  
All of the time  
I know that's not enough  
If the sky can crack  
There must be some way back  
To love and only love

"Electrical Storm", U2

*                      *                      *

The wedding festivities were winding down, Sookie and Jackson were almost ready to leave for their honeymoon, and Lorelai was sitting on the tree swing with a glass of champagne in one hand and a sullen look on her face. Her parents had already left, and she was planning on sending thank you notes to every god worshipped by man for that little blessing. Three hours into the festivities, she'd stopped looking over her shoulder to see if Luke had decided to show up. It was stupid; if he did come, all he'd do was be hostile to her anyhow.

"Hey," a soft voice from behind her said.

"Is for horses," she responded, turning to give Rory a smile. Rory also had a sullen look on her face. Misery must be contagious. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Lorelai made some room for her on the wooden plank, and Rory sat down.

"Good thing our butts are so tiny," Lorelai commented, her heart not really in it.

"Yeah."

They sat in silence for awhile. Rory dug her toe into the ground and gave a soft push. 

"So, Jess is back," Rory tried after a few minutes of silent swinging.

Lorelai was both shocked and not surprised. "You saw him?"

"Before the wedding. He came by to tell me; he wasn't here long, since it was just about to start."

Lorelai asked the question she didn't want to hear the answer to. "Are you and him…"

Rory shook her head. "No." She'd spent the rest of the wedding thinking about it, and this was her decision. "He's just a friend." A friend she'd kissed, but since she'd decided that it would never happen again, it wasn't a complete lie.

Lorelai accepted that with some relief. "Your dad left." If she had just exhibited some restraint, and not told Rory about her 'exciting Chris news,' telling her about the disappointment wouldn't be so damn hard. 

"I know. Why? Couldn't he have stayed for the wedding?"

Poor kid. For five minutes she'd enjoyed the notion that her parents might actually get back together. Lorelai felt guilty, as if it was her own fault. She should have learned her lesson about Christopher and his promises many times over by now. 

"No." The swing had slowed, and Lorelai gave the ground a push with her foot. Her shoe got dirty, but she couldn't bring herself to care. The damn thing was giving her blisters anyhow. "How do you feel about a brother or sister?"

Rory's face paled. "You're not…"

"Sherry is."

"But I thought they were over."

"So did Chris."

Rory understood the implication. "This so sucks."

"I sacrifice my sanity on a weekly basis to send you to Chilton and the best word you can come up with is 'sucks'?" Lorelai asked, trying to lighten the situation.

"This is heinously atrocious."

"Forget it. Now you just sound like Alicia Silverstone in 'Clueless.'"

"I thought it would have been different this time."

"Me too, sweetie." 

"Maybe it's fate intervening, because you and Dad aren't really supposed to be together," Rory tried to console both of them.

"Or maybe Sherry stopped taking her pill." Lorelai grimaced. "Wow, that came out cattier than intended." She patted Rory on the knee. "C'mon, we have to wave goodbye to Sookie and Jackson as they embark upon their honeymoon."

"Can we leave after they do?" Rory was tired of putting on the party face.

"Definitely." 

*                                                                                  *                                              *

The first thing Lorelai did after making their exit was yank the evil shoes off her feet. She grimaced at the blisters. "Because today wasn't bad enough," she muttered, and tossed the shoes into the back of the Jeep. Rory got in, and Lorelai headed back to their house.

"I need coffee," she informed her mother.

"As long as we're announcing things we need, I need ice cream. And maybe a new pair of jeans."

"Let's get coffee ice cream." 

"Believe it or not, we actually have some at home. I'm such a good mother." 

"I still need coffee in a liquid form."

"Fine." The drive back to town was short, and Lorelai pulled her jeep up to the curb outside of Luke's. She gave Rory five bucks.

"You're not coming in?"

"I don't have any shoes on," she feebly explained, "and I'm wearing this flimsy bridesmaid dress; it won't stand up to Cool Shoulder Luke."

"Mom," Rory protested.

"I'm okay staying here, and oh, I love this song, I can't leave, I must hear it," Lorelai lied.

Rory frowned. "The station's on commercial."

"Yeah, well, I like the jingle. Go."

Rory got out of the jeep and walked into the diner, scanning for any sign of Jess; she didn't see him.

"Hey, Luke."

"You look nice," he told her. 

Rory saw him quickly look behind her for Lorelai. He couldn't be too mad at her mom if he was looking for her, Rory surmised. "She's in the car."

"Oh, uh, I wasn't…coffee?"

"Two please."

He poured the cups. "How was the wedding?"

"Good, great, Sookie was happy, Mom ate enough Jordan almonds to kill a normal person."

Luke nodded. "Good for her. For Sookie," he quickly clarified. He decided to change the subject. "Jess is back."

"I know."

"I told him to leave you alone." He handed her the coffee. 

"It's okay. He didn't bother me."

"You tell me if he does, I'll take care of him."

Rory officially decided this was the weirdest conversation she'd ever had with Luke. "Okay." She paid him for the coffee and left.

"Here," she said, handing one to Lorelai when she got back in the jeep. 

"Wow, he let you take one for me. He must be in a good mood." 

"More like a weird mood." She told her what Luke said about taking care of Jess. "I felt like I was in the Godfather."

"He just doesn't want you to get hurt," Lorelai said, then frowned. "At least he cares about one of us."

"I saw him look for you when I came in, so I don't think he hates you completely."

Lorelai wasn't convinced. As they headed home, she said, "Let's watch Monty Python when we get home." It never failed to cheer her up.

"Which one?"

Lorelai sighed. "All of them."

*                                              *                                              *

A tapping noise on her window woke Rory up later that night. She'd been having the strangest dream; Luke had owned a women's clothing store, and Paris worked for him. John Cleese kept trying on different dresses, and Paris would yell at him not to let his fat ass rip any seams. Another noise from her window shook her from her reminiscing. 

She opened the window. "Go away," she whispered, knowing who it was.

"I'll have two Happy Meals and some of those cookies shaped like Ronald." Jess smirked.

"We're closed." Rory went to shut the window. Jess stuck his head through; he didn't think she was heartless enough to slam it down on him. Rory sighed. "If you don't move, I will pretend this is the French Revolution." 

"So, did you tell Dean?" Jess asked, ignoring the threat to his head.

"No."

"Are you gonna stay with him?"

"I don't know."

"Interesting."

"No, it's not."

"Oh, I think it is."

"Jess," Rory started, not knowing why she was even trying to spare his feelings, "I think it would be better if we were just friends."

"Then why'd you kiss me?"

"I didn't…because…I don't know," Rory finished. "But I'm not going to do it again. Nothing between us would ever work, even if I wanted it, which I'm not saying I do, so I'm sorry you moved back and everything, but I firmly stand by the friends-only mandate."

Jess bristled, and got defensive. "Who says I moved back for you?" 

"Well," Rory started.

"Well I didn't," Jess finished. "You want to be friends? Fine. You're not the only girl in this town." He was gone as quickly as he'd shown up.

Rory stared at the open window, and wondered just what it was about Luke and Jess that made them that way. 

*                                              *                                              *

The next morning, neither felt like going to Luke's for breakfast. Or the morning after that. Lorelai discovered she could cook scrambled eggs in the microwave; they managed to avoid Luke's for two more days. After a week, when just the thought of Al's Pancake World or microwaved eggs nauseated her, Rory broke.

"Mom, we have to go to Luke's." She hadn't wanted to run into Jess, but at this point, she'd rather see him than another Pop Tart and egg sandwich.

"But I just learned to cook. I need to practice or I'll forget."

"I think the world would be better off if you forget."

Lorelai looked at her sad little Pop Tart and egg. She gave in. "Fine." 

Rory let out a sigh of relief. On the drive to Luke's, she thought about how to handle Jess. She hadn't wanted to hurt him. Hopefully he'd be over it. But if he was anything like his uncle…

"Mom, stop biting your nails."

Lorelai lowered her hand from her mouth. "Sorry. I get nervous right before I know I'm gonna get yelled at."

"Luke's not going to yell at you."

Lorelai parked the Jeep near the diner. "Let's just see about that."

They walked up to the door, and Lorelai shoved Rory in front of her. "You go in first. He likes you."

"So now I'm a human shield?"

"Overdramatic much?"

"Says the woman who's using her own daughter as a human shield."

"Let's sit at the Mafia table." Lorelai suggested.

"Okay, I don't think Luke's going to sneak behind and whack you."

"I am the mother and I am instructing you to sit there."

"But there are empty tables," Rory said, looking around the diner. She also looked for Jess; when she didn't see him she was both relieved and disappointed. 

"I don't want the empty tables."

"But Kirk's sitting there," Rory pointed out. 

"Not a problem." Lorelai walked up to the table. "Hey Kirk, my good old buddy Kirk. Mind if we join you?"

Kirk looked up at them in genuine shock. "No one ever wants to sit with me." Then his eyes narrowed. "What's the catch? There has to be a catch. Why would anyone want to sit with me without some sort of catch?"

"Because I think you're so dreamy."

"Please don't lie to me. Beneath my wirey, muscled exterior lies a vulnerable man."

Lorelai dropped the act. "Because I want this table."

"She's afraid Luke'll throw something at her," Rory added.

"Fine. I'll allow you to join me." 

Rory and Lorelai sat down. When Luke came over to drop off Kirk's check, he saw the two of them sitting there.

"What the hell is this?"

"Mom thinks Kirk's dreamy," Rory explained.

Luke couldn't think of anything to say to that. "What'll it be today?"

"French toast," Rory decided.

He turned a cold glare on Lorelai. She froze. "Um. Food."

"We got a lot of food. You want one of everything?"

"No. Pancakes." She tried to smile. "Please."

Luke nodded and walked away. Lorelai let out a disgruntled sigh. "Well that was fun. From now on, you can come by yourself."

"I don't want to eat alone," Rory protested.

"I'll eat with you," Kirk offered.

Rory kicked Lorelai under the table in desperation. Lorelai just smirked. "Problem solved."

-end ch. 1-

It gets better. Hang in there.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Disclaimer in Ch. 1

*                                  *                                              *

Later that week, Rory came home and wearily dropped her backpack next to the door. "I hate school," she informed Lorelai, who was sitting on the couch watching T.V.

"L.L. Bean just got a massive order for parkas to be shipped to hell," she responded. "How can you hate school?"

"Well, there's only three weeks left, so they're trying to ensure that we don't forget everything we learned throughout the year. Which means fun and exciting group projects that are due the week before finals."

"Let me guess? Paris is in your group again?"

Rory sat on the couch and nodded. "I am so lucky."

"Ooh, just think, soon you guys get to spend every day together for six weeks."

Rory groaned. "Thanks for reminding me. Dean probably forgot what I look like, and I'll be surprised if I can pick Lane out of a crowd at this point."

"Dean? Are you kidding? He probably made a Rory scrapbook to remember you by."

"Mom."

Lorelai was on one of her rolls. "Little pictures of you, with titles above them written in those gel sparkle pens like: 'Rory At the Bus Stop,' 'Rory and Me at the Diner,' 'That Day When Rory and I Went to The Movies and My Hair Looked Really Cool.'"

"Quit it!"

Lorelai caught the smile that Rory was trying to hide. "Aw, come on. You know it's funny."

"Maybe just a little," Rory admitted.

Lorelai shook her head in amazement. "Man, is that kid whipped. You know, for his birthday, I was thinking of getting him a whip, but then I figured he wouldn't really get the joke, and would probably think I wanted him to dress up like Indiana Jones." Lorelai cocked her head as she thought about that. "Actually, maybe I _do want him to dress up like Indiana Jones."_

Rory gave her a pitiful look. "Careful, I think you're turning into Miss Patty."

Lorelai shrugged. "There are worse people to be."

Rory nodded. "Yes. And one of those people would be me. If you'll excuse me, I have several tons of homework to do."

"Metric or standard?"

"Do you even know the difference between the two?" Rory knowingly asked over her shoulder.

"No," Lorelai feebly admitted. "That's right, honey, shine the light on your mother's stupidity."

"Oh, I don't think I even need the light. It sparkles all on its own." With that, she closed the door to her room. 

Lorelai smirked to herself. "Indiana Jones." She got up and hunted through their video collection.

*                                              *                                              *

"Feed me," Lorelai begged on Sookie's first morning back at work.

"'Hey, Sookie, how was the honeymoon, hope you had fun.'"

Lorelai gave her a guilty look. "Sorry. Hey, Sookie, how was the honeymoon? I hope you had fun."

"Thanks for asking! Yes, we certainly did." 

"Now can you feed me?"

"Sure." Sookie began cooking Lorelai's breakfast; she'd just assumed that in the two weeks she'd been gone, Luke and Lorelai would have made up. It made her a little sad to think that they were still fighting, but she was still on a honeymoon high.

Lorelai ate her breakfast and listened to Sookie animatedly tell all the details of her honeymoon. 

"So then we went to see the world's largest blueberry, up in Maine, and wow. Just wow! I mean, it was the size of my head! If Michel ate it, he really would die!"

"Just please leave out any mention of seeing the world's largest cucumber on your honeymoon. That's a place I so don't want to go to."

Sookie grinned. "They don't call Jackson the Vegetable Man for nothing."

"Ack! Sookie! Mental picture!" 

When Sookie finished up with the details of the trip, Lorelai said, "I'm glad you had such a great time, but I missed you completely."

"Did you miss me, or did you miss my food?"

"Ninety-nine percent you."

"I can't believe you and Luke are still fighting."

"We're not fighting. We're just not talking."

"You apologized, he accepted. What's his problem?" Sookie speculated.

"If I knew things would be a whole lot easier. Do you realize Rory's going to that Future Politicians and Other Evil Creatures summer thing in two weeks? It starts the Monday after Chilton gets out, so we don't even have time for anything fun. Then she's going to be away from me, and besides missing her more than an arm or a leg, I'll also have no one to go eat with. The only place I used to eat alone was Luke's, which is now out of the question."

"Okay, honey, calm down, we don't need you going Mariah on us."

"Sorry. It's just this whole month has sucked. The Jess thing, the Luke thing, the Christopher thing, it's all sucky and makes me wonder if life would be better without men, because all they do is make problems."

Sookie indulged her friend. "Can we at least keep a handful? Like Jackson, and that Ty guy from Trading Spaces? Just to open stubborn jar lids and change the oil in our cars."

Lorelai smiled. "I guess we could keep a few."

"Does Luke know about you and Christopher?" 

"I don't think so; it's not like I would tell him."

"He still could have heard something."

"I hope not. He's so unpleasant already."

"Aha! That statement indicates that you know he'd be jealous!"

"I'm gonna have to go with a 'Whachoo talkin' bout, Willis?'"

Sookie gave a frustrated sigh. "It means that you now acknowledge the possibility that Luke has feelings for you. You used to totally blow it off before."

Lorelai didn't feel like having this discussion anymore. "So, did you see the one where Ty climbed a tree?"

*                                                                      *                                              *

Rory was eating breakfast at Luke's alone on her last day of school. Someone tapped her on the shoulder just as she was taking a sip of her coffee; besides startling her, it made her choke on the coffee.

"Oh, honey, I'm sorry!" Lorelai apologized.

Rory managed to catch her breath once the coffee was out of her lungs. "Don't ever do that again or I'll call Child Protective Services."

Lorelai sat down. "So, what're you eating? Pancakes. Ooh, they smell good. Order some to go."

"If you want pancakes, get your own." 

Lorelai grabbed the last pancake off Rory's plate.

"Leggo my eggo!" Rory demanded.

"It's a pancake," Lorelai countered, and took a huge bite.

"Un-take my pancake!" 

Lorelai shoved the rest of it into her mouth. "Can't, all gone," she mumbled, her cheeks stuffed with pancake.

"Order your own," Rory told her.

"Why? I'm not hungry anymore." Lorelai stood up when she saw Luke leaving the kitchen. "Gotta go to work. Have fun on your last day of school- and remember, if you're gonna skip, go some place cool. Not the library."

She went out the door. Luke came over with a coffee to go. "Was your mom just here?" he asked Rory, wondering if the blur he saw out of the corner of his eye was Lorelai.

"Nope," Rory lied. "They say imagination is the culmination and realization of sub-conscious desires. Maybe you _wanted to see her."_

"You _want this coffee or not?" he threatened. _

Rory took the cup. "She stole a pancake and ran out when she saw you coming," she admitted. She gathered her stuff up, said goodbye to Luke, and went to catch the bus.

Dean was sitting on the bench when she got there. "Hey," he greeted.

"Uh, hi." The way he kept popping up had progressed from sweet to annoying, and after the Jess Incident, as she liked to call it, it made her feel paranoid and guilty. Like he was showing up to point his finger and say 'I know what you did.'

"I thought I'd keep you company while you waited for the bus."

"Thanks. I usually read a book."

"Or three."

"Yeah. So I'm covered in the entertainment category." She looked at her watch. "You have school to go to." Stars Hollow High started half an hour earlier than Chilton.

"I can be late." He tugged on her hand, and she sat down. "I was thinking, since this is the last day of school, we could do something to celebrate tonight."

"Oh," Rory said, trying to sound more regretful than she actually felt, "I had plans with Mom."

"All night?" 

"Well, you never know with her."

"C'mon, you can make time for me." 

Dean had an amazing way of whining without actually sounding like he was whining. "I can't say yes right now."

"Fine," Dean said dejectedly.

"Don't take it like that," Rory implored, "I just don't want to say yes and then not make it because I'm still with Mom." 

"Whatever. I've got school to go to. I hope you and _Lorelai have fun." He got off the bench and stalked away. _

Rory knew she should go after him; the 'be a good girlfriend' voice inside her told her placating him was the right thing to do. But another voice inside her told her to let it be. She hadn't intended anything personal by declining to hang out with him; she truly did have plans with her mom. If he wanted to take it that way, that was his problem. And why the hell did he stress Lorelai like that? Did he think she was lying to him? What, like she had plans with Jess? She didn't.

That stupid voice pointed out he had every right to be suspicious. 

Shut up, she told it. She pulled out a book and waited for the bus.

*                                                                                  *                                              *

"Rory?" Lorelai called out when she got home. 

"Kitchen," Rory answered.

"Is there the remotest possibility you're baking a cake or other bakery product?"

"Did you see any pigs with wings in the sky?"

"No." Lorelai pouted. "I really had a craving for cake."

Rory opened the freezer and pulled out the tub of Cool Whip, then tossed it at Lorelai. "Put it on top of bread and you'll never know the difference."

"Okay, gross. Hand me a spoon." Rory complied. "So, what should we do to celebrate my little girl finishing tenth grade?" she asked, licking the spoon clean of Cool Whip.

"I think I have to break up with Dean," Rory blurted.

"See, that's more of a _you activity, and I was thinking of something along the lines of a __we thing." Lorelai put the spoon down and got serious. "Why?"_

"He's just…he's…" 

"Oh, clearly a valid reason to break up with him."

"He's possessive. And he doesn't respect my privacy."

"Did he read your diary or put a camera in your shower?" 

"No. But he was waiting for me when I got to the bus stop this morning."

"The nerve!"

"Mom, you're not taking this seriously."

"Rory, he just sounds like an attentive, caring boyfriend. There are so many girls who would love to have that."

"Then they can have him after I break up with him." Rory slumped down at the table and picked up the spoon, taking a large bite of Cool Whip.

"You've told me a thousand times that Jess is just a friend, but be honest with me. Are you breaking up so you can be with him?"

"No. I don't want Jess as my boyfriend," Rory said, and it was the complete truth. Jess was complicated, Jess had problems; being Jess's girlfriend would require more than Rory was willing to give. She just wanted to do things to Jess that would land them a role in a Pink video. Things she and Dean hadn't even come close to doing after dating a year. 

"It's your decision, sweetie."

"You want me to stay with Dean." Rory accused. Lorelai didn't answer. "Mom, I know you like him because he's safe and reliable and you think if I stick with him, it'll keep me on the straight and narrow path, but you don't need to worry. Okay, I did do some things that weren't like me, but I'm not going to do them again and I'm not going to put in jeopardy all the hard work I've done all my life." Rory's voice had escalated until she was practically shouting at the end. After realizing just how loud she'd gotten, she looked sheepish.

They sat in silence for a while. Finally, Lorelai broke it. "Pass the spoon, or my fingers are going in the tub."

Rory passed her the spoon.

*                                                                      *                                                          *

"The Hartford Planetarium has Laser Pink Floyd," Rory suggested.

"But I'm fresh out of pot, so we wouldn't enjoy it to its full potential." They were trying to decide what to do. "We could try to sneak into the locker room at the Connecticut State baseball stadium."

"You hate baseball."

"Yes, but I don't hate naked baseball players."

Rory stuck her tongue out, rejecting the idea. "We could rent videos."

"Good call. We can overdose on junk food while watching videos."

"I like the plan."

"It is a good plan. Thy mother doth come up with wonderful-eth things."

Rory shook her head. "Kenneth Brannagh will definitely be avoiding this house."

"Come on. He cast Keanu Reeves; I've got a chance." Lorelai found her purse and headed to the door. "Move it," she told Rory.

"I'm coming," Rory grumbled, getting off the couch and following her mother out the door.

"Speaking of Keanu, how does Bill and Ted sound to you?" 

"Excellent Adventure or Bogus Journey?" Rory asked.

"Both!"

"Dude!" Rory said, agreeing. Then she remembered about Dean. "Dude," she muttered to herself. They got in the jeep and she pulled the phone out of Lorelai's purse.

"Dean?" Lorelai asked. 

Rory nodded, listening to the ringing on the other end. Dean answered. "Hi, Dean," Rory started. 

"Hey, Rory. Jamie Collins is having an end of school party at his house and it's supposed to be really good. I was thinking we could go there for a little while, then see what we want to do from there."

Rory could tell this wasn't going to be easy. "Dean, my mom and I always do something to celebrate the last day of school. It's tradition. If you ask me to break it, it's like asking Ned Flanders not to go to church." She'd had a more literary analogy in her mind, but she knew going with a Simpsons reference wouldn't confuse him.

"But I haven't spent time with you in a while. I let you study for your finals; I think the last time we hung out for more than fifteen minutes was two weeks ago."

"Dean, we can hang out tomorrow. And the day after that. And then, the one after that." Rory stopped there; she had a sudden, powerful feeling that hanging out with Dean that much might not be a good idea.

"But you're leaving on Monday. That's four days, Rory."

"I know it's soon; but you know my mom, Dean. I've only been away from her two nights in my entire life.  She's already acting like I'm joining Shackleton."

"Who's Shackleton?" 

He sounded slightly jealous, but Rory was probably imagining it. "He went to Antarctica." She went back to the matter at hand. "Please, Dean, just let me do this without making me feel guilty."

Dean sighed. "Fine. I work the morning shift tomorrow; I'll come over around three. Is that okay?"

"That sounds great." She said goodbye to Dean and put the phone back in Lorelai's purse.

"Honey, I would have let you hang out with him," Lorelai told her.

"It's okay, really. I like our traditions. And he wanted to go to some end of school party so it's not a big deal."

"Well, it's true that you didn't inherit my party animal genes. Bummer."

"Some party animal you are. We're going to the video store, remember?"

Lorelai frowned. That was pretty lame for her. "We can still do something else," she said.

Rory felt guilty. Even with her dad's latest disappointment and Luke's continued hostility, her mom had been holding up well, but her spark seemed somewhat diminished. "It's okay; the important thing is we're together."

"Aw. It's a Thelma and Louise moment." Lorelai smiled. "Let's go blow up an 18-wheeler."

*                                                                      *                                                          *

Rory spent the next afternoon with Dean, then joined up with Lorelai for the Friday dinner. She begged out with Dean again for that night in order to spend it with her mom. On Saturday, she and Lane went to a movie while Dean was at work, then spent the rest of the evening with Dean once his shift was over.

By Sunday, she had the feeling that something was going to happen. Since she'd told her mom she was thinking about breaking up with Dean, she'd been debating it with herself. It was hard; it wasn't like he'd done anything wrong. And he really did love her. But his constant jealousy and possessiveness were wearing her thin. She was tired of having to explain herself if she didn't or couldn't spend every waking moment with him. He had even asked her to stay for the summer instead of going to Washington.

She went in to Luke's in the early afternoon to get coffee in an effort to calm her nerves; Jess was working.

"Hi," she said to him. The town was small, but she'd only seen him a handful of times since the wedding, and always in public. At first she had purposely avoided him, but after a week or so she'd just been too busy with school and packing. 

"Long time no see," he said back. 

"Group projects, end of the year newspaper issue, finals, and packing," she explained.

"Nice excuses."

"Call them what you want," she retorted. God, he was annoying sometimes. He smirked. No, no, you will not find him cute, she scolded herself.

"It's okay; I knew you'd give in sooner or later."

Arrogant bastard. "Whatever. Can I get coffee?"

Jess got her a cup. "So how's the Jolly Green Giant?"

"I assume you're referring to Dean?" Jess nodded. "He's not green."

"Yeah, but he's tall."

"He's fine."

"Is he crying because you're leaving him all by his lonesome?"

"So you remembered."

"Been known to do that, from time to time."

"Rory!" 

Jess smirked again. "Speak of the giant."

Rory turned to see Dean coming into the diner. "Hi," she said. 

"I got one of the guys to come in a couple hours early so I could spend more time with you," Dean explained. He gave Jess a look before leaning down to kiss Rory.

Rory felt slightly uncomfortable kissing him back five minutes after debating whether or not to break up with him. "Oh, good," she said about the extra time.

"Yeah, that's just great," Jess added. Rory glared at him. So did Dean. Rory noticed, and decided the best thing to do would be to put distance between them. She paid for the coffee.

"Bye Jess."

"See you later," Jess said. As he'd intended, Dean frowned at that. Rory grabbed his hand and headed out the door.

"What did he mean by that?" Dean asked when they were outside.

"Nothing. It's a phrase."

"So you guys don't have something planned?"

Rory closed her eyes and counted to ten, trying very hard not to throw the coffee at her boyfriend.

*                                                          *                                              *

-end ch 2-

A/N: The world's largest blueberry is actually in Canada…Nova Scotia I think. Sadly, I actually looked this kind of info up. I like accuracy. However, since I think that it's actually a FAKE blueberry, and is one of those large statue-type deals, I said 'to hell with it' and decided to put the world's largest REAL blueberry in Maine. Yes, I know no one cares. However, I ended up spending a few hours reading world record websites. And there are some seriously sad people out there who need better things to do with their time. One person has the world's largest collection of gum foil wrappers.

A/N 2: This is first and foremost a L/L. I would have preferred to gloss over the Dean/Jess/Rory deal because it's not my area, but I thought, realistically, that wouldn't happen and it would need to be addressed. So I know it's coming off as more of a Rory-based thing at the moment, but the following chapters are much more L/L.


	3. chapter 3

Disclaimer in Chapter 1

A/N: There are a couple things in this fic- some big and some small- that actually ended up in the season premiere. I didn't read spoilers, and the first 180 pages of this fic have been sitting on my hard drive since July 1, when I started this story. I thought I would have finished it by the season premiere but the best laid plans…

Anyhow, any similarities to the 3rd season are coincidental. But let's just say when I saw Taylor's first appearance I had a "they stole my idea!" moment. And I was sad. But alas, I stole THEIR characters, so I'll toss off another hackney axiom and say all's fair in love and war…or fic.

Rory note: A few people have mentioned that they think Rory's finished 11th grade in season 2; does anyone care to hear my insane theory why I think the show might be doing revisionist history, and why the 10th grade thing makes more sense to me? Here goes!

Until they come out and say it on the show, I have her finishing 10th grade in this fic. I'm basing this on a few facts, because I don't recall them ever saying what grade she was actually in- and if I'm just having a brain spaz, please point out a specific ep to me!-, and so have tried to figure it out using clues given on the show.

 If she had been in 11th grade in S2, then she would have been taking the SATs. Instead, Rory was complaining about her PSAT scores in Season 2's episode "Secrets and Loans" and I remember taking those in 10th grade. Also, Harvard requires 3 SAT II Subject Tests (ah, how I so loved subject tests) and they recommend that applicants begin taking these as well as the regular SAT in the spring of their junior year. (Which means Rory should have been taking them already, and not the PSATs). 

Also, if she had been in 11th grade, then she would have been at least starting on her college applications, because that's when you're supposed to start on them and I don't think Rory would have forgotten about that. Especially since Harvard is her school of choice, she'd probably consider doing the Early Action where you apply earlier and they give you a decision earlier. From the Harvard application booklet:

**Receipt of the Common Application and the Harvard Application Supplement by October 15 for Early Action and December 15 for Regular Action would be helpful. The materials from your teachers and counselors are due by the final deadlines: November 1 for Early Action and January 1 for Regular Action.**

Yale also has the same deadlines. 

Of course, the show is FICTIONAL (sigh) so they could be less interested in the real life schematics, and it's written I'm sure by people who haven't had to take the SATs or apply to college in many years, so they might unintentionally be making mistakes. 

The only thing that's confusing is that she turned 16 in the beginning of Season 1, which means she'll be 19 at graduation- although that can be explained because her birthday's just past the start of the school year (October or November if you judge by air-date and the seasonal setting of the episode), and I know that for many schools kids have to be 5 when they start pre-k, and if they haven't turned 5 by the first day of school in the end of August or September, they have to wait until the next school year, which makes them the oldest kids in the class. 

So I sat there for awhile and debated the age thing vs. the school issues thing, then figured that since shows sometimes go back and rewrite history (like how the 90210 kids were in high school for 5 years) the people in charge of the show might have realized that putting Rory in 10th grade instead of 11th in Season 2 would give them another year of mother/daughter Lorelai/Rory interaction before shipping her off to college.  I also reread the entire transcript for Rory's Birthday Parties and they never actually _give her age in there, or refer to it as her 'sixteenth birthday' in the actual episode itself. Which might be handy to them if they __are intending revisionist history. This kind of crap always happens on TV shows, especially when they get more popular- they'll renege on previous canon in order to suit their current needs. And one of those needs might be milking the Rory/Lorelai unit for another year; even if they send her to a closer school than Harvard, it will be an alteration in a formula that's currently working really well. _

If anyone can find me solid- and most importantly, recent- evidence from the mouths of the producers/writers, I'd be very thankful. Until then, I'll just see what they're doing this season, and change it if they do say Rory's in senior year. I'll also work on lowering my anal attention to details. As they say on the MST3K theme song: Just repeat to yourself 'it's just a show, I should really just relax.'__

-Chapter 3-

Lorelai groaned when her alarm went off. This was it. This was The Day. The last time she'd see Rory for six entire weeks. That was forty-two days. How could she go forty-two days without Rory? 

She grumpily turned off the alarm. When she moved to get out of bed, she felt something shift next to her. She looked to the side; Rory was lying next to her.

"Hey," she said, shaking Rory gently.

Rory slowly opened her eyes. "I couldn't sleep in my bed," she explained groggily.

Lorelai tried to keep the mushy mommy feelings from gushing out. She brushed the hair off Rory's face. "You better get up, sweetie, if you want to get some breakfast before Paris gets here."

"Ooh, breakfast." Rory was instantly up. 

Forty five minutes later, they were arguing over where to eat.

"Luke's," Rory said firmly.

They were standing on the sidewalk near the square. "No," Lorelai said, not up to the task of facing Ice Man Luke at the same time Rory was about to leave her. "Let's hit the bakery. Cupcakes for breakfast!"

"I want real food."

"Cupcakes are real food!"

"I want to say bye to Luke and Jess," Rory said. 

Lorelai nodded. "I'll wait out here. Then we can get cupcakes."

"No. You're going in with me, and you're going to eat with me."

"But he's so not Luke-ish," Lorelai protested.

"For me?" Rory pleaded, and gave her the big eyes.

"Stop using the puppy eyes, it's not going to work." Rory widened her eyes even further. "Fine," Lorelai conceded. "Now quit it; you look like one of those freaky Precious Moments dolls." They walked the twenty feet to the diner.

"Sorry." Those dolls really were scary. Rory opened the door, and looked over her shoulder at her mom. "I'll warm him up for you."

"Gonna give him the eyes?"

"They never fail." Rory dropped her bag at a table; when Luke saw them, she gave him a big wave and smile. He actually stopped what he was doing and looked behind him to see if she was waving at someone else. He pointed at the coffee pot and Rory nodded.

A few seconds later, Luke came over with two cups of coffee. "Hey, Rory," he said. He put the other cup in front of Lorelai. "Hey," he said, a few degrees colder.

Lorelai was torn between the snarky comment that she was a paying customer or giving him a big smile in hopes of melting his iciness. She compromised with a neutral, "Hey."

"Since this will be my last Luke's diner meal for six weeks, I plan to make it a good one," Rory told him. "I think I will have pancakes,"

"I'll make 'em blueberry if you want," Luke offered.

Rory smiled. "That would be most excellent. And a danish, please. And some bacon." She felt like going all out.

"You got it." His smile faded as he looked at Lorelai. "And you?"

"Oh, uh, just pancakes and sausage." Luke left, and Lorelai pouted. "He didn't offer me blueberries."

"I'm sure he wasn't doing it to spite you."

Lorelai changed the subject. "What time is Paris coming by?" Since Paris' was driving herself, she had offered Rory a ride down to D.C. with her. Rory suspected they'd be planning their first governmental acts the entire way.

"Nine. Which you already knew."

"I know." Lorelai glumly stirred her coffee. 

"Mom, if you want to take me yourself, you can." 

Lorelai shook her head. "No, we're both big girls. I don't need to drive you there and watch you walk away, and wave goodbye to you like on your first day of school."

Rory smirked. "Now that's just a lie. You didn't watch me walk away, you followed me into the class and Mrs. Roberts had to practically call security to get you to leave."

Lorelai grinned at the memory. "It was kinda funny when she first thought I was one of the high school kids loitering in her class. I mean, really? What kind of kid ditches high school to go to pre-k?"

"The slow kind."

"I don't look slow!"

They were giggling when Luke brought over their plates; for a second, he forgot to be distant to Lorelai and smiled. "Here you go." When they looked up at him, he dropped the smile, hopefully before they noticed. Where the hell was his resolve? 

Lorelai picked up her fork; when she looked down at her plate, she was surprised to see blueberry pancakes. She told herself it didn't mean anything, but the fuzzy little warm feeling stayed with her nonetheless.

                        *                                              *                                  *

Rory was just finishing her danish when she saw Paris' BMW pull up outside Luke's. "Oh no."

"Did you forget to pack something? Like the entire Barnes and Nobles store?"

"No. Paris is outside." 

Lorelai turned to look out the window. Sure enough, Paris was getting out of her car. "But it's only," Lorelai looked at her wrist before she remembered that she didn't wear a watch. One of these days, she really was going to have to get one.

Rory checked her watch. "Eight forty-five." 

"I knew I birthed you for a reason." Lorelai prepared herself for another exciting episode of Paris Theater. 

Paris walked into the diner, and the bell somehow tinkled more ominously than normal. "There you are," she said when she spotted Rory.

"It's uh, not nine yet. And how'd you know we were here?"

"This town is the size of my swimming pool. Besides, your strange neighbor with the gnomes told me you might be here."

Rory took the last bite of her danish. "You said nine."

"I said we would leave at nine. Which would indicate that we would have already put your stuff in the car and gotten on the road."

"Wow. Can't argue with that logic," Lorelai piped in. 

"I'd like to be there when the check-in starts, in order to procure the best dorm room and get the background information on all the other participants."

"Fine." Rory finished off her coffee and stood up. "But all my stuff's still at the house."

Paris glared. "If you get moving now, we can still be on the road by nine."

Lorelai turned to Paris. "Have you ever thought of going into the Army? Just think of all the new recruits you could reduce to tears."

There was actually a gleam in Paris' eye for a moment. 

Rory picked up her bag. "Let me say bye to Luke." Paris just gave her a look that said 'make it quick.' Rory walked over to the end of the counter, where Luke was putting more danishes out. 

"You leaving?"

"Yep."

He grabbed a bag and tossed some danishes in it. "A few for the road."

"Thanks." She took the proffered bag. "I just wanted to say bye. Six weeks seems like a really, really long time. I think the longest I've ever been gone from here is two days. I might actually miss Taylor and Kirk."

Luke smirked. "I wouldn't count on it."

"Probably not. But I know for sure I'll miss you." She impulsively hugged him. Luke wasn't used to hugs. He awkwardly hugged her back. "Is Jess around?" she asked after pulling away.

"No."

Rory felt a twinge of disappointment. "Can you tell him I said bye?" she asked, trying to sound casual.

Luke nodded. Rory took a deep breath, and gave him The Eyes. "Oh God, what now?" he asked. The Eyes had been her way of getting him to give her the biggest cookie or brownie or piece of pie when she was younger.

"Don't be too hard on her."

Luke didn't say anything. Rory crossed her arms over her chest. The Eyes were not working. It was time to go for the Stern Pout. Luke was also familiar with the Stern Pout; she'd inherited it directly from Lorelai. "I'll try," he surrendered. He'd never managed to build his defenses against it.

"Thanks." She headed back over to the table, catching the tail end of a conversation between her mom and Paris.

"I don't watch T.V."

"But you need to watch this show. You and Simon would be a match made in…someplace that's not heaven."

"Simon as in Simon from American Idol?" Rory butted in.

"Yep."

Rory inclined her head as she thought about it. Simon and Paris; it would be amusing. It would be scary as all hell, but amusing. "I agree."

Paris stood up. "I'm sure I'd find this conversation more fascinating if I actually knew what you two were talking about. But since I don't, let's quit wasting time and go."

Lorelai left money on the table and shot a surreptitious glance Luke's way. "What did you say to him?" she asked Rory.

"I just told him goodbye," Rory replied innocently. They walked outside to Paris' car. Paris overcame her self-involvement for a brief instant and got in, letting them say goodbye in privacy.

Lorelai was suspicious, but decided to let it go. "Do you want me to follow you guys back to the house? I could help you put your bags in the car. I'm very skilled in baggage handling. And packing," she lied.

Rory smiled. "You are the absolute worst at it and you know it." She looked at her watch. "It's eight fifty-one. I guess we'll just say goodbye nine minutes early."

"Okay," Lorelai managed to say. How could she get into cry mode so fast?

Rory hugged her. "If you cry, then I'll cry, so please don't cry," she whispered. 

"I wasn't crying. I was just practicing my Oscar acceptance speech." She hugged Rory tighter.

"Best actress?" Rory's voice cracked.

"Nah. Best actor. I'll be getting a sex change while you're gone."

Rory laughed through her tears. Lorelai let go of her. "We're so silly," she admonished, wiping under her eyes, then under Rory's. "It's not like you're shipping off to Rwanda."

"Good thing. Postage would be exorbitant." 

"I'll miss you and your big words. Now get in the car before I handcuff us together and you'll have to chop off your own hand like Hannibal to get away."

Rory kissed her cheek. "Love you."

"Love you too." She watched as Rory got in the car. Paris pulled away, and Rory waved goodbye through the window. Lorelai waved back until the car turned onto another street.

Luke could see them saying goodbye outside; he could see the pain on both their faces. Lorelai's back was to him when Rory finally left, but he could see her face in his mind, biting her lower lip and trying not to let more than a few tears fall.

He wanted to go out there and comfort her. 

He wanted her to hurt.

His pettiness won the initial battle, and he turned his back to the window, refilling coffee cups around the diner. He went behind the counter and put the pot down. He felt like an ass. He grabbed a paper cup and filled it, then headed out the door. Lorelai wasn't there; he looked down the street but she was already gone. He tossed the cup in the trash and went back inside.

*                                              *                                                                      *

It was a small club, the stage barely twenty feet across, the floor in front of it jammed beyond capacity. The women in the crowd outnumbered the men four to one, and all were dancing and gyrating and shimmying in the tiny spaces between each other. Lorelai was also dancing, but there was a presence behind her, a solid, non-moving presence, like a wall. 

The lights flickered and changed colors, their frenetic energy mimicking that of the crowd. She could hear the beat of a familiar dance song, bringing her back to the days of high school, to the half of her life that was without Rory. Rebel Yell. Billy Idol. Lorelai grinned; she had rebelled and yelled with the best of them.

She could see the singer on the stage, only it wasn't Billy Idol. Oddly enough, it looked like Simon LeBon. Why the hell was the Duran Duran guy singing Billy Idol songs?

She turned around; the wall behind her wasn't a wall. It was Luke, stoic as always.

"Why's Simon LeBon doing Billy Idol stuff?" she asked him, yelling to be heard over the music.

"What?" he yelled back, unable to hear her.

She stood on tiptoe, putting her hands on his shoulders to steady herself, and pressed her lips to his ear. She repeated her question, then leaned her head back so he could answer.

Luke just shrugged. "Damned if I know," he answered, and kissed her.

She wasn't surprised; she responded as if it was natural, kissing him back, wrapping her legs around his waist, locking her arms around his neck. She clung to him as the sea of people pushed against them, his big hands sliding down to hike up her skirt.

"Everyone'll see," she whispered in his ear.

"Let 'em," he whispered back, before mooing in her ear.

Why was he mooing? Lorelai grunted, and rolled her hips against his. Was he purposely tormenting her? And why wouldn't he stop mooing?

"Damn it!" she cursed, when she realized the mooing wasn't coming from Luke, but from the alarm clock with the barnyard animal noises that was currently set on the cow track.

Then she realized what she'd been dreaming about. She was about to have sex with Luke at a Billy Idol- well, kinda Billy Idol- concert.

"Damn it!" she cursed again. If only her clock had been set for a few minutes later.

Saturday night she'd had the first Luke dream. She had dismissed it, blaming the whole thing on watching Raiders of the Lost Ark before going to bed. She'd also dismissed the second dream, two nights later, where Luke was a lumberjack; it must have been from the Monty Python lumberjack song. 

But this third dream, she couldn't ignore, no matter how hard she tried.

She dragged herself out of bed, reflecting on the current situation her life was; Rory had been gone for a week now, a week that had passed by in a mopey haze. The only bright spots were her phone calls to Rory. 

Without Rory, she couldn't bring herself to walk in to Luke's at all. Then, on Thursday, Christopher had called. She hadn't wanted to talk to him at all, but she picked up the phone hoping it would be Rory. When he told her that he and Sherry were getting married, it still managed to surprise and upset her, even though her brain had known it was coming. She barely managed to congratulate him and end the conversation in a normal, everything is fine by me voice. And of course, her mother still insisted on Friday night dinners, even though Rory was neither present nor in school at the moment, so Friday had been another amazingly horrible night. Emily, though no longer incensed over the Christopher incident, was still in mourning for the perfect family situation that had died before it had even gotten started.

When Lorelai walked into the kitchen at the Inn, Sookie knew right away from the expression on her face something was up.

"Okay, this Luke dream thing is going way too far," Lorelai said.

So that was it, Sookie thought. "You have another one?"

"Yes." 

Sookie waited for Lorelai to elaborate. When she didn't, Sookie practically pleaded with her. "You have to tell me! Were there monkeys?"

"No, there weren't monkeys. That would be gross."

"Well, unless you give me details, I will be forced to make up my own, and I'll throw in some monkeys," Sookie threatened.

Lorelai explained the Simon LeBon/Billy Idol concert, then got to the Luke part. She looked around the kitchen, but it was early and the other cooks weren't in. "Okay, so we were kissing, and he lifts my skirt up, and the damn alarm goes off."

"I'm not Freud, but this one's super easy to interpret. You've got the hots for Luke."

"No I don't!" Lorelai denied, without much sincerity.

"Hello? You were about to have dream sex with him."

"So what? One time I had a dream make-out session with Al Gore, that doesn't mean I have the hots for him. It just meant I was very concerned with the election process."

Sookie kept a straight face. "With or without the beard?"

"With," Lorelai admitted. "It was kind of funny, actually- we were making out in the race car shaped bed in his treehouse."

"And this is somehow connected to the election process?" Sookie questioned.

"Well, the kissing was to symbolize his connection to the people, and the race car was for his fast-paced election campaign, and the treehouse was um, the source for the paper would be used for misplaced ballots," Lorelai quickly made up.

"That's some imagination you got. But it won't distract me from the Luke issue."

"There is no 'Luke issue,'" Lorelai firmly stated. "He doesn't like me, and I need a man, that's all my dreams mean."

"Of course he likes you, silly."

"No, he tolerates me now and just barely at that."

Sookie put down the knife she was using to chop mushrooms. "What happened after you sent him the apology letter? I thought for sure that would have fixed it."

"I know. I must have overestimated the healing powers of Garfield." Lorelai thought about the details. "Let's see…I made a rhyme about donuts, and I thought it was pretty clever and Real Luke would have thought so too, but the Imposter Luke that's currently taken over just seemed annoyed. And I did more apologizing, and he said he wasn't angry and didn't have a grudge. But you should have _heard him, Sookie. I mean, I know what he said, but it was the way he said it- all clipped and cold and not mean, but definitely not the Real Luke."_

Sookie thought about it. "Maybe he isn't mad."

"Well if he's happy then he sure has a crappy way of showing it."

"Maybe he's depressed."

"So if I bring Luke some Prozac he'll be nice again?"

"Well, not depressed like that. But he wants you so much, sweetie, and you want things to be the way they were."

Lorelai nodded. "Well, what's wrong with that?"

"You're not thinking about what he wants. He doesn't want to go back to being just Luke."

"Who does he want to be if he doesn't want to be Luke? Michael Jordan?"

"No, he wants to be Luke, the guy who Lorelai loves."

"So you think Luke's not being nice to me because he wants to get together with me."

Sookie was practically beaming. "Yes!"

Lorelai gave her a skeptical look. "That makes no sense."

*                                              *                                              *

It was 6:04 in the morning and Luke was ready to break the jar in order to get the pickles out. Not that he needed them exactly at that moment, most of his customers didn't eat pickles with their breakfast, and he could get the lid off if he put a little extra effort into it, but god how satisfying it would be to just smash the damn thing against the counter.

Unfortunately, his cathartic vision of destruction was interrupted by Sookie. 

"You hungry?" he asked her, though he was pretty certain she wasn't here for food.

"No, I came to talk."

"Great, my favorite hobby." He gritted his teeth and twisted the pickle lid.

"It's important, Luke." 

He looked up from his twisting and saw that she was right. This was No Nonsense Sookie; her face should be plastered on every package of that pantyhose so everyone would get the point that there was No Joking Here.

"What?" he grunted and twisted harder.

"This thing with Lorelai needs to be fixed. All she does is sit on her couch and watch T.V. and eat junk food." Sookie's gaze wandered from his face to the pickle jar and back again. "Who eats pickles for breakfast?"

"Pregnant women and social outcasts. And so what, that's all she ever does. How's it any different?"

"It's different and you know it. And it's _your fault so I would suggest __you fix it."_

"Just like how I fix everything for her."

"Right," Sookie nodded firmly. Then she shook her head. "No! I mean, yes you do fix things for her and help her but this shouldn't be sarcasm and bitterness! She _misses you, Luke! You were- are- one of her best friends and now all of a sudden, you're acting like a stranger and her Luke is gone. It isn't her nature to be depressed and you've managed to make her that way for a month now." _

Sookie paused only so she could take a deep breath and continue her ranting. "And she's too proud to admit that she misses you, and you're too stubborn to forgive her even though she's apologized many times, and it's making me really frustrated and angry, which makes Jackson frustrated and angry, and so on, and it's turning into one big circle of angry and sad and frustrated people and I don't want to live like this!" 

In her wild gesticulations, she managed to knock over two ketchup bottles and a salt shaker on the counter. She hurried to pick them up before Luke noticed, since his gaze was still on the pickles.

"So get over it. I have." He twisted the lid even harder. Stupid pickles, why wouldn't they open?

"No you haven't! You still love her, and I know she loves you back, and if the both of you would just come to your senses this nightmare would be over." 

Luke shot her the Death Look. "Did she tell you that?" He didn't deny that he loved her, though.

Sookie looked a little confused. "The whole 'she loves you' part?"

"Yeah, that part."

"Not in actual words," Sookie admitted slowly. "But I can tell, through her actions. And those are worth more than words, right?"

"I think her actions have made it pretty clear that you're wrong." He gave one last ditch effort on the pickles, and there was a satisfying pop as the vacuum gave. Not as satisfying as breaking glass, but he'd take it. 

Sookie experienced some of the anger she'd mentioned just seconds before. "Fine. Then I hope you don't mind if I choose the epitaph on your headstone, since you're dying alone and will have no family or loved ones to do it. I think it might read, 'Luke Danes: Bitter, Stubborn Loner.'"

"And you think if I forgive her it'll say, 'Luke Danes: Beloved Husband'?" His sarcasm didn't deter her.

"Maybe. But if I were you, I'd rather take a chance rather than take the certain path to Lonerville." Sookie thought that was a rather good note to end on- maybe it would get him to think, and if she stayed any longer a full scale argument might break out and she'd be late to work. She grabbed a pickle and took a large bite before heading out the door.

"Pregnant or outcast?" Luke shot at her as she exited. He still wanted to smash the damn pickle jar but then he'd only have to clean it up since no one else was on shift at the moment. With an exasperated sigh, he grabbed a pickle and settled for biting it really hard.

*                                                          *                                  *

"Hey, kiddo!" Lorelai said when she answered the phone.

"How'd you know it was me?"

"My incredible psychic powers," Lorelai informed her. "Well, that and the caller ID."

"Ooh, you got caller ID and I'm not there to enjoy it!" Rory whimpered.

"I decided to splurge and get it when I ran out of the shower because I heard the phone ringing and thought it might be you, but it turned out to be Taylor. For the life of me I can't remember what he was calling for, but all I knew was that there was absolutely nothing right with talking to Taylor while I was naked and wet."

"You've now brandished that image into my brain."

Lorelai smirked. "I'll pay for your therapy. So tell me about your day."

"It's Saturday, so all we have is a forced socialization dinner thing to go to in an hour. I spent the day reading a book and got some coffee. You'd like the coffee shop that's a few blocks away. A little yuppie, but the coffee more than makes up for it."

"Better than Luke's?" 

"Of course not."

"Not like I even remember what Luke's coffee tastes like," Lorelai mumbled.

"What is wrong with you two?" Rory burst out.

Lorelai stared in disbelief at the phone before putting it back to her ear. "Are you suddenly suffering from voice immodulation disorder?"

Rory apologized. "It's just that I thought you two would have made up by now." Apparently, her parting words to Luke and the Big Eyes had failed.

"I think the town has a bet going. I put ten bucks on 'never.'"

Rory shook her head. "Betting against yourself is not a good move."

"But I'm going to win. It's impossible to talk to him anymore. It's like he just tunes out anything I say."

"Maybe you can't get through to him with words. Words aren't always enough."

"This from my little book worm? Sweetie, without words your life would lose 98 percent of its meaning."

"Words in books are fine. But sometimes, two people are beyond words, and you have to say what needs to be said in another way."

"Are you suggesting I communicate to Luke through Interpretive Dance? I'm not sure he'd like that, he's not really one for culture."

"I seem to recall that you referred to Interpretive Dance as 'the evil spawn of Martha Graham and LSD.' So you're not really one for culture either."

"I don't remember saying that but it does sound like me. Except for the culture part. Me, I'm full of culture, I've got culture coming out my ass…I mean, my derrierre. In fact, this morning I had yogurt for breakfast, since I am persona non grata in the diner and am forced to forage for my food like our primitive ancestors, and the yogurt said it was full of culture, and since said yogurt is currently lodged in my stomach and refusing to digest, I am highly cultured."

"Mom," Rory said, and the tone of her voice was clear even through the miles separating them. 

"I know, honey, bad time for a bad joke."

"Look, when you see Luke, what's the first thing you want to do?"

"Throw plates at his head and scream, 'Why don't you like me?'"

"I don't think that'll work."

"Yeah, I've already tried, it doesn't."

Rory was quiet for a moment. "Mom?" 

Lorelai groaned. "Now you're using the serious mommy-tone. Which is totally not supposed to be in your tone repertoire because you're not a mommy."

"That's what you think."

"Gah! Don't even joke like that."

"Heart attack or stroke?"

"Both."

"Okay, let's get back to the subject matter at hand."

"Yes, Professor Rory." 

"Sorry, but I've got that dinner thing in a bit. So here's what I think: just go see him. You've been afraid to step foot in the diner but I think it's time you suck it up and go back in there. 

Wear his resolve down until he forgets he was ever mad at you. If he doesn't see you, he's just going to keep the last memories of you fresh in his mind."

Lorelai grimaced. "Not some of the best memories of all time."

"Exactly. So go make new ones. Even if new memories are just you going, 'Coffee to go…'"

"They're still better than 'Go to hell,'" Lorelai concluded.

"And on that satisfactory note, I've got to go." 

"Bye, sweetie." Lorelai hung up the phone and looked around the living room. It wasn't like she had anything better to do. She picked up the videos that needed to be returned and walked to the center of town.

Kirk was behind the counter when she walked into the video store. She handed him the videos, which he took and checked in. 

"Will you be renting more videos tonight?" Kirk asked.

Lorelai looked at him curiously. "Oh, uh, I don't know. Maybe. Why?"

"Because I was going to close early and if you _are going to browse, I suggest you browse quickly," he answered, a smug smile on his face._

Lorelai looked at him even more curiously. Since when was Kirk smug? "May I inquire as to why you are closing early?"

"You may," Kirk said, and his smile got even bigger. "I have a date, and I want to be on time."

Lorelai nodded, trying to keep the surprise she had inside from showing on her face. "Yep, better not give her time to change her mind."

Kirk's smile disappeared. Lorelai waved her hands apologetically. "No, sorry, that was a joke. Just joking. Ha." 

Kirk glared miserably at her. "If she cancels, I'm blaming you."

Lorelai nodded. "I'll take all the blame." Kirk still looked miserable. "If it makes you feel any better, I haven't been on a date in over a month."

Kirk cocked his head to the side. "Actually, that does make me feel better. Now go browse…_quickly."_

Lorelai went off and picked her movies. As Kirk handed her the receipt, he said, "If you do want a date, you know where I live."

Lorelai smiled through the pain. "Duly noted." She gathered the videos and walked out; she could see the diner across the street. Since Rory had left, she'd figured out the work schedule and had managed to grab a quick bite to eat in the few hours when Luke wasn't working a couple times; but it was Saturday night, and Luke was working. She could either follow Rory's advice or go back home. 

She steeled herself and headed toward the diner. It was busy, and she didn't know if that was good or bad. Luke would have his hands full and couldn't devote his full attention to being frosty towards her; however, there were more people there to witness anything that might happen.

The only open seats were at the counter. She sat down, and looked around for Luke.

"He's in the back," Caesar told her when he came up to take her order. There was another server working the tables who Lorelai didn't even recognize. It made her painfully obvious of her absence.

"Oh, I wasn't looking for him. I was checking to see if you guys had enough coffee stocked up," she lied. Caesar just gave her a skeptical nod. Lorelai gave up. "Is he in a good mood?"

Caesar shrugged. "I don't really monitor his moods."

"Okay, then just get me a coffee and a burger, and do me a favor and don't tell him I'm here."

Caesar got her the coffee and put her order in. Lorelai sipped the coffee and tried to think of what to say when she saw Luke.

Or rather, when Luke saw her, since she caught a glimpse of him lifting boxes and moving inventory in the back. When Caesar put her burger in front of her, she barely noticed. She was still watching Luke. Her heart was beating fast; she couldn't even bring herself to eat the burger. Everything inside her felt fluttery and nervous. 

She couldn't take it anymore; tossing some money on the counter, she got up and left the diner in a blind daze.

*                      *                      *

-end ch. 3-

And on a personal note, that Al Gore dream actually was mine. But I'm from South Florida, and it was right around the time of that election 'fun' we had. So I blame the elderly. 


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Thanks to hrlo and Lady Bug for the Rory details. (Although I still can't believe she hasn't started her SATs or Subject tests yet- I guess being fictional you can take all 4 tests at the last moment.) My beta reader failed to point this grade thing out to me (But I'll forgive her) so when I asked her again, she said she didn't take her SATs until October senior year and her PSATs in junior year. Apparently, I was the only one of my friends who started taking both tests early…I even found my score reports to double check, since I also took 3 Subject Tests as well.. So Rory better get cracking! Anyhow, I'll go back and change it, but it shouldn't really make a huge difference because Rory's only showing up in phone conversations for like, the next ten chapters. (And in our high school, every grade had a president, vice-president, treasurer, etc and new elections were held every year. And every year, I ignored them.)

*                                              *                                  *

Chapter 4

*                                              *                                  *

"I feel so stupid!" Lorelai practically shouted when Sookie opened her door.

Sookie stood back and let Lorelai in. "Care to tell me why?"

 "The Luke thing!" Lorelai explained. 

Sookie gave a knowing nod. "Ah, of course. Should have figured it had something to do with Luke."

Lorelai made a frustrated noise. "I just spent an hour walking around in a circle because your car wasn't in the driveway the first six times I passed your house, so now my feet hurt and I like Luke," she said, squeezing in the part about Luke very quickly.

Sookie didn't miss it and clapped her hands excitedly. "You figured it out! Tell me about it, tell me _all about it. Act it out if you must!"_

Lorelai shook her head. "It wasn't a big scene. It wasn't a scene at all. I was at the diner, and I was watching him put boxes away, and I've seen him do that hundreds of times, but this time it was different. I was checking him out! And then it made me think of the time he let me help him put stuff away, and then I had this picture in my mind of us putting groceries away back at my house..."

Sookie interrupted her. "Groceries?"

Lorelai stopped her pacing. "It was a fantasy."

"Gotcha."

"And then I realized, everyone was right! I _do like Luke. You all kept saying it, but I __didn't know, I really didn't. And there weren't any little subtle hints either, it's not like I would walk into the diner and go 'hmm, Luke looks hot today.'" Lorelai was pacing frantically around her living room, while Sookie sat on the couch and watched at her, looking for all the world like she was watching Venus and Serena go at it._

"It's like there was this tiny little switch in my brain that shut down any part of it that would even remotely consider Luke to be a possibility. And I think that switch ran on Luke's Coffee, it used it like gasoline to keep the switch on. Then with that stupid fight, and the subsequent NOT going to Luke's and inability to procure enough Luke-coffee, the switch broke and all of a sudden, I'm thinking of Luke in everyway I shouldn't be. I'm thinking of Luke in his blue flannel, because that's the one that brings out his eyes, I'm thinking of Luke talking with that Chilton mom and I'm getting angry and jealous over it still, even though there was nothing going on. I'm thinking of Luke in the diner, getting hot and sweaty cooking my burger, so he takes his shirt off to wipe the sweat from his brow and finishes cooking my burger bare-chested." 

Lorelai paused, as if mentioning this made her think about it all over again. She shook her head to clear it, and picked up her rant where she left off. "Okay, so I know that never happened but I'm allowed to have fantasies, right?  Oh! Remember my engagement party? The happiest moment was when I saw Luke walk up. The best part of my engagement party was when he shows up! Don't you think I should have realized right _there that something was going on with me and my feelings for Luke, when my fiancé talking and dancing with me fails to make me as happy as when the Diner Man decides to grace us with his presence? Aaargh!! I am __so stupid!" She kicked the couch in frustration, and whimpered when her toe began to throb. _

With a dramatic flourish, she threw herself on the couch next to Sookie and sprawled bonelessly against the arm. "I'm so stupid, they shouldn't allow me to live anymore, that horrible Weakest Link woman should show up on my doorstep and insult me and then drag me off to my execution. And everyone can point and laugh and say, 'We knew all along!' Then I'll be killed and a month after my death, Luke'll be pouring coffee and fixing things for the Chilton lady, and they'll put the chuppa over my grave and turn it into an annual Stars Hollow festival. Miss Patty will tell stories about Poor Lorelai, who couldn't see what was right in front of her until it was too late. Because it _is too late, and even if they don't haul me off to my execution it's too late." She slumped forward and put her head between her hands. _

Sookie tried to think of something comforting to say, but apparently Lorelai's rant wasn't over yet. "Everything between Luke and I is ruined, it's not gone but it's nowhere near the levels of greatness that it used to be, just like the last season of Buffy. I don't want to be the last season of Buffy! I want to be the Friends episode where Ross tells Rachel she never should have told him she had feelings for him and they yell, but at the end they kiss in the coffee shop while the rain pours down!"

"Lorelai, breathe!" Sookie commanded. Lorelai began breathing rapidly, sucking in great gulps of air. "Not so fast!" Sookie amended. "We don't want you hyperventilating."

"Oh, because that would be the worst thing that could happen."

"Okay, I understand you're in a bad place right now, so I'll overlook the unwarranted sarcasm."  
  


"Sorry, Sookie. Mr. Sarcasm got out of his cage, and he's quite the wily beast. Gonna have to call the Croc Hunter guy in to round him up. Hey, does Jackson know you had a crush on him? Because I think there's a sale on khaki shorts going on. You guys can have a fun role-playing night." 

Sookie's face was red. "I didn't have a crush on him!"

"Please, Sookie. You put his voice on your answering machine." 

"Because it was funny. 'Crikey, looks like she got away!' See? Because I wasn't home. Ha." Sookie gave up. "Okay, he was kind of hot. But we have _way more important things to deal with now." Sookie giggled. "This is sooo good." _

"What could it possibly be?"

"It's raining!" Her statement was accompanied with some giggling and excited pointing toward the window, where outside Lorelai could see that it was indeed raining.

"Oh, yes, raining. Yay, water. What's your point?"

"You don't have to be the last season of Buffy! You have the perfect chance at this very moment to be that episode of Friends! It's a sign!"

"I don't know, Sookie. What if I run in there and he yells at me for getting water on the floor and kicks me out, or worse, just refuses to talk to me. What if he doesn't like me anymore?"

"Of course he likes you, silly! He more than likes you, he loves you, it's right…"

"There in his eyes," Lorelai finished the sentence for her. "I know, you've said that before, but what if you're wrong, Sookie? Can you imagine the horrendous scene that would unfold if you were wrong? 'Hey, Luke, guess what, I kinda like you, maybe I love you, I don't know, you wanna see where it goes?'" Lorelai grabbed one of Jackson's hats that was lying around and put it on her head. "'Whoa, Lorelai, what are you talking about? I don't like you like that. What got into you? I told you to stop drinking so much coffee. I have to go now, things to do, flannel shirts to buy.'"

 Lorelai took the hat off and threw it haphazardly on the couch. "It's not like I can take his eyes home with me and give them a thorough examining, make a conclusion, and then give them back to him."

"That would be neat, though. And very helpful. But trust me, honey, the entire town can't be wrong on this."

"You want me to blindly trust a bunch of people who can't even remember to bring matches to a bonfire every year?"

"He built you a chuppa. He didn't want you to marry Max, but he still built you a chuppa. That's love."

"Oh god, Sookie, you're getting that daytime soap opera romance look on your face. Next you'll be telling me Luke's my long lost cousin and that he's pregnant with my evil twin who takes over and pretends to be me because I was conveniently hit by a car and got brain damage and amnesia."

Sookie held up her hands in frustration. "Lorelai, just go. Even if you chicken out, and don't say anything to him, you can at least just pretend like you were there for some coffee and nothing else. He'll buy that, he knows all about you and your scandalous love affair with Mr. Bean." Sookie flushed. "Not Mr. Bean the funny looking English guy, but the coffee bean!"

"That could work."

"Great, it's settled." Sookie dashed over to the closet and fished around for something. "Here!" she said, shoving an umbrella into Lorelai's hand. "Now get the hell out there and do what you want to do."

Lorelai couldn't remember actually taking the umbrella, or leaving Sookie's house, but somehow she was standing on the sidewalk, facing the general direction of the diner. She turned back to the house, and Sookie was on the porch, protected from the rain. She waved and gave Lorelai two thumbs up. Lorelai rolled her eyes and began walking toward the diner. Toward Luke. Toward what could possibly- and most likely be- the most humiliating event of her life. The only thing that could make it any harder was if Emily showed up to inform her that a lady did not traipse about in the rain attempting to begin romantic liaisons with diner owners.

*                                                          *                                              *

The rain had kept people off the streets; sane, normal people didn't walk in torrential downpours. Lorelai, however, had never been classified into that group. She hovered in the doorway of the diner, watching Luke sweep the floors in the semi-darkness. When she tried the door, she found it locked. She decided it was an omen, and she should turn away and give up. But Luke had heard the door being pulled on, and looked up. Lorelai could see the questions in his eyes, the inner debate going on his head evident on his face. Should he let her in, or should he let her stand out in the rain and hope she'd take a hint and go away. 

But Luke was Luke, and he couldn't have left her standing in the rain no matter the circumstances. He crossed over to the door in three quick strides- why had it taken her so long to notice just how large he was? He turned the lock and opened the door.

"Hi," was the only thing Lorelai could think of to say.

"Hi," was the only thing Luke could think of to reply.

They stood there, both trying to read the other, both feeling like the other was in a foreign language, and without any of those handy subtitles.

Finally, Luke broke the silence. "We don't have any coffee."

Lorelai chickened out. "Yeah, that's what I came here for. Coffee. Darn. None. I'll just be going now." _Wuss__! She screamed at herself. She turned on her heel, made a decision, and then turned on it again. Luke had also started to turn away. She reached out a cold, wet hand and grasped his forearm. He looked at her, and she looked in his eyes. _

And it was right there. In a rare moment, Lorelai could think of absolutely nothing to say. She took a step closer to him, and the decrease in distance increased her boldness. Her other hand found its way to his shoulder, and she stood on her tiptoes. Her face was only inches from his when she whispered, "I'm not here for coffee."

She felt the tremor that passed through Luke in her hand, and that was the only warning she had to the sudden and swift movement she next experienced, like a rumble before the earthquake. The earth had moved and somehow, she was in his arms, and his fingers were sliding through her wet hair, cradling her head as he pressed his lips to hers. She kissed him back, the feelings swirling around in her stomach and the dizziness in her head making her forget the door to the diner was still open, forget that the rain was blowing in, spraying them both with cold droplets that did nothing to lower the heat between them. 

Being held by him made her feel tiny, and he lifted her up as though her weight was insignificant. She wrapped her legs around his waist and deepened the kiss, sliding her tongue into his mouth as her hands tangled in his hair, the baseball cap falling unnoticed to the floor. His hands had left her head and found new places they wanted to be, feeling her back and her bottom through the wet layers of clothing she had on. It was electrifying, filling her with both a passionate heat and a tender warmth, even though her skin was cold from the rain. 

She felt dizzier and realized Luke had taken a few steps forward, kicking the door shut before he pushed her against it. Resting most of her weight against the glass, his hands could explore even further, and his warm touch was a shock to her cold skin as he slid them under her shirt. His hands danced along her stomach and her lower back, and she urged him higher by making the next kiss even more ardent than the last. When his hand cupped her breast, she moaned, breaking her mouth away and instinctively thrusting her hips against his. 

"Lorelai," he moaned. Lorelai reached for his flannel and…

Stepped right into a giant puddle of water. 

"Damn it!" she cursed, her boot filling with cold ickiness. Her imagination had taken over during her walk and she hadn't even realized she was daydreaming. She didn't even remember looking for cars before crossing the streets. "Wonderful," she muttered, as she continued to the diner, "I have naughty daydreams of Luke which lead to my untimely demise as I'm hit by a car." 

She was somewhat irate that it had all been her wandering mind, and not the real thing. It had gone so well, too well in fact. Which meant that the real thing would go horribly. That was how the world worked.

When she reached the diner, she paused on the steps, debating whether to go in. The sign was flipped to the 'closed' side and the lights in the main room were off. She moved closer, making out a light from the kitchen area. Then she saw him, wiping the grill. Her heart was beating way too fast and her hands were shaky. Maybe this was what normal people felt when they overdosed on caffeine. 

This was a stupid idea. How did she ever let Sookie convince her it wasn't? Lorelai took a deep breath and made a deal with herself. If Luke's door was unlocked, she'd go in; but if it was locked, she'd turn around and go home. 

Damn. It gave under her push, and she stepped quietly inside the diner. Unfortunately, the little bell above the door tinkled with her entrance, and the sound was nearly deafening as it bounced around the empty diner. 

Maybe Luke hadn't heard it, she hoped. She knew she couldn't do this. This kind of thing was just supposed to happen, that's the way it went in all the books and movies, and she had no training in openly admitting her feelings. She and Luke were supposed to get stuck in an elevator, or find themselves in a ridiculous situation where they pretended to be a couple, or get drunk and admit their feelings; that's the way it always seemed to go in fiction. Lorelai decided that real life sucked.

Luke turned around to see who had come in so late. He honestly could not tell if he was surprised to see it was Lorelai. She had always confused him, and now more so than ever. He squashed the little surge of hope in his chest; she was probably just here for coffee.

"There's no coffee." Now she could just go away and leave him to the world of fun that was grill-cleaning.

Lorelai's mind was trying to decide which route to take. She could chicken out and leave, or she could get this horrible secret off her chest. "No coffee," she finally replied. Then she realized she made no sense. "Not here for coffee, I am. I mean, I'm not here for coffee." Way to make a sentence. Her brain was totally fired. From now on she'd let her nose make the decisions.

The silence grew. And grew. Martha Stewart could have knitted a sock in the passing time, complete with ribbing and bows and those stupid little tassles. 

"Well," Luke finally said, gruffer than usual. It was partly a prompt for her, partly the beginnings of a sarcastic statement by him, and partly something to say because the silence was driving him crazy.

He watched her as her face made numerous expressions, all of them failing to manifest in actual spoken words. "Look, if you've got something to say, say it, but if not I'm going back to scraping the grease that accumulated off the grill, because contrary to what you believe, extra grease does not make food taste better."

Her lip trembled. He instantly hated himself. She was going to cry and it was his fault. He took a step closer to her, then paused mid-stride when he remembered two things: he was supposed to be mad at her, and he had no idea how to comfort her. So he just stood, and looked at her, then the floor, then the ceiling, and back at her. He continued this process of looking, occasionally adding in a glance at his feet or the wall, while she continued to have her own inner debate. 

Luke realized the worst part about being mad at her was that he still wanted her. His heart and his body, of course, wanted nothing more than to accept her apology and just be near her without having to put his guard up. But his brain just wouldn't allow it. His brain kept screaming at his stupid heart and stupid body that this was for their own good, because she'd end up hurting him one way or another, by being with someone else or by rejecting him. That one day, they'd thank his brain for this. 

Lorelai, in the meantime, was getting nowhere closer to what she'd come to say. She should scrub the mission and call it a failure instead of just standing there avoiding eye contact with Luke all night. But then where would she be? Right back at square one, where square one was avoiding the diner and Luke altogether. She'd be just as miserable, only now she'd be miserable every day for the rest of her life. And hungry. Square one sucked. This made a little piece of her give in, and even though she couldn't tell Luke how she felt completely, she could give him a clue. 

Luke had been on the floor part of his staring routine when there was a blur in front of him, then arms around his neck. Startled, he realized that what he'd initially thought was an attacking bear was just Lorelai hugging him. Lorelai was hugging him. Hugging. With arms. Her hair smelled like apples. He finally managed to get his own arms working, and hugged her back. He liked the way her head fit right under his chin. He liked the way her arms wrapped around his waist and her hands clutched his flannel. 

Lorelai said something, and though it was muffled from her face being pressed against his chest, it sounded to him like, "I miss you." And then she was gone, the bell tinkling after her, and if it wasn't for the rain water now soaking the front of his shirt and the scent of apples lingering in his nose, he would have thought he'd imagined the whole thing.

*                      *                                  *

end Ch. 4

Reviews are appreciated, as always. 


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: If this part seems familiar to you, it's because originally it was in chapter 4, but after posting it I realized it was too damn long for one chapter. So I split it up and reposted the shorter Chapter 4, but who knows how long the site takes to refresh it. So if you read the long version of chapter 4, go ahead and skip this because it is exactly the same.

*                      *                      *

Chapter 5

*                      *                      *

The phone rang in Rory and Paris' shared room, interrupting Paris' highly dictator-ish speech on what their leadership project should be. Paris just gave the phone, then Rory, a dirty glare. "You know it's for you. It's not like anyone calls me." 

Rory rolled her eyes and walked over to the phone. "They don't know what they're missing." 

She picked the phone up, but before she could even say hello, the phone emanated a high pitched whine that sounded a lot like, "Rory!" 

Rory smiled. "I'm sorry, Polite Caller, but my phone seems to have an unusually whiny ring."

"Rooooorrrryyyy!" 

"There it is again. I think I should notify the proper telephone authorities. Could you please call back in a few minutes?"

"Rory, Mommy is having a crisis. A calamity! Which is quickly becoming a conundrum! A riddle wrapped in an enigma! It's like Calamity Jane and Jim Carrey's Riddler met on a singles cruise and got married and had a baby and then left it on my doorstep!"

"Does this mean I'm not an only child anymore?" 

"It means I need you to help me. Help Mummy, Sweetie Darling!"

"Okay. I know it can be confusing, so I'll help you through it: Scott Bakula is a terrible, terrible starship captain. No one knows how or why he got command of the Enterprise. So when you watch the show, and you become confused as to why the stupid man is giving orders to the obviously more qualified Vulcan lady and southern guy, you just have to remind yourself that contrary to all common sense, he's the man in charge."

"I wish I had boobs like the Vulcan lady."

"No you don't, you'd fall over."

"I like that southern guy." Lorelai said, recalling all the times he'd ran around the ship in his little blue skivvies. 

"Only because he spends every other episode in his underwear. Now what's your problem?"

"I don't have a what problem, I have a who problem."

"Who's your problem?"

"Who do you think?"

"I don't know who."

"Who else could it be besides that certain who?"

"How am I…arrgh!" Rory exclaimed when she couldn't think of a way to fit 'who' into the sentence. 

"Haha, I win."

"I concede victory to you."

"When you left you were but a student, and I was the master. And I still am! I am the Master forever!"

"Didn't the Master have a Who problem?"

"Yes, but the Master was trying to avoid it." Lorelai sighed and got into serious mode. "It's Luke."

"Ah yes, I should have known."

"Especially with the Star Wars reference of three seconds ago." 

"But you were doing Darth Vader, not Luke Skywalker," Rory pointed out. 

"Someone's anal." Lorelai sighed again. She felt like all she did lately was sigh. Soon she'd be sitting on her porch, fanning herself while she wore a giant hoop dress and swooning and claiming, 'I do declare, I have the vapors!' She shuddered at the thought. "Horrible."

"What's horrible?"

"Oh, just the image of me as a swooning southern belle sitting on the porch and claiming that Babette's gnome- what was his name? Peter Pan?-  was looking at me in an ungentlemanly fashion."

"Pierpont…and what?"  
  


"Never mind. I have a Luke problem."

"Still haven't made up?" 

"Not completely. This is terrible. The only other people in the world I've had such an awkward relationship for this long with are my parents. Only I'm not getting any Friday night dinners with Luke. So I don't even get food out of this deal!"

"But he said he forgave you, like, a month ago."

"Verbal forgiveness was given, yes, but he forgot to send the complimentary basket of friendship to back up his words."

"Maybe you can't just hand friendship out in a basket, Mom."

"Well then that whole basket festival just got really stupid."

"It was always stupid. But my point is this: What do friends do?"

"They drink a lot of coffee, run willy nilly into each others' apartments, and insinuate that Chandler is gay."

"I meant friends without the capital 'F' and the million dollars per episode paychecks. What do you and Sookie do? Me and Lane? Me and you?"

"Um…hang out. Watch movies. Listen to music. Go shopping. Plan the death of George Lucas so that Episode III will have a chance of not sucking. Eat. Giggle about boys in our pajamas while we braid each other hair."

"We don't do that. We giggle about boys separately from the hair braiding, remember?" Rory reminded her.

"Oh yeah. That whole 'No Giggling About Boys While Braiding Hair Because It Makes Us Look Like a Pre-Teen Girl Product Commercial' Law of 1997. I thought for sure that wouldn't get through the Senate."

"It was close. Good thing Strom Thurman fell asleep and missed the voting."

"Huh huh, that guy's old."

"Mom, Beavis and Butthead have not been cool since I was in single digits."

Lorelai gasped. "Where has the time gone?"

"Contrary to the laws of nature it does not travel linearly. Instead, it swoops and swirls and meanders and never gets to the point, much like this phone call."

"Sorry, babe. It's just…it's really hard. You're not here anymore. At least when you were here I had you."

"Brilliantly deduced," Rory said, the many miles between them failing to dilute the sarcasm.

"Quiet, you. But now you're gone, Sookie's off being newlywed, and I even asked Mrs. Kim but she won't let Lane come out to play. She probably thinks I'll bring Lane back pregnant with Marilyn Manson's child. So with Luke not being friendly that leaves Michel and my mother to socialize with. Which means I spend most of my time talking to the box of baking powder that's been in the fridge since the last episode of Cheers."

"Which brings me to my point. If no one," Rory emphasized the last two words, "interrupts me. If you want Luke to be your friend again, you've got to make him _want to be with you. Asking for coffee's a good start, but that still means he's just Coffee Guy. Offer him something that makes him more than that. Ask him if he wants to come over and watch a movie, or go with you to a concert. Better yet, a baseball game." _

At Lorelai's retching sound, Rory conceded. "Fine, not a baseball game. But ask him, point blank, if he wants to do something with you. Luke may be gruff but he's not mean. I refuse to believe that he wants nothing to do with you for the rest of your lives. He likes you, Mom, I don't think he can just turn that off." 

"I like him," Lorelai replied, in a voice much smaller than usual. It took Rory a second to process this. It took her another second to realize the full implications of what it meant.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Because you just can't start it up with him and then call it quits. If you just want a fling find some guy on the street."

Lorelai interrupted her. "Kirk did offer me a date."

"Surely you jest."

Lorelai snorted. "Of course I do; but I just thought you'd like to know that since it makes me laugh every time I think about it. It's actually a half amusement, half fear type of laugh."

"Fine. So do your flinging with Kirk, or anyone else. Because you can't with Luke. I don't want you to end up running away because I like Luke, and I like Luke's Diner, and I like Stars Hollow and I don't want to give any of those up!"

"Rory, I _know that! Why do you think I said I had a calamity and a conundrum and something about Jim Carrey? I like him and it terrifies me." Lorelai took deep breaths. She heard those were supposed to calm people down. All it did was make her lungs work harder. _

"So after all these years, you want to be with Luke. Did you ever think that this is only because he's playing hard to get, in a sense?" 

"The distance between us has affected the accuracy of your observational skills, my dear, because the answer is a big resounding NO. Luke's been Mr. Grouchy Pants for two months now, and the Naughty Luke Dream #1 only premiered like, a few weeks ago."

Rory groaned. "Please, please, please no further elaboration," she begged.

"It was Indiana Jones-themed."

"That's an elaboration!"

"No, if I was elaborating then I'd tell you how his flannel shirt had been ripped open while we were escaping the pygmy cannibals, whose leader for some reason was Rosie O'Donnell, and she and the pygmies were shooting koosh-balls at us…"

"Mom!"

"…and then we dove under one of those doors right as it was closing, and his baseball hat got knocked off, and he reached under and snagged it just before the door slammed shut."

"_Mom!"_

"So he was all sweaty with his chest-exposed, and we were in this little room, and the walls started closing in, which made us get closer and closer until-" 

"MOM!"

"See, _that was elaborating."_

"Point taken. Now was there a point that you were somehow getting to?"

"Frost was wrong. There were three paths in the woods that day. I'm taking the very, very long and very, very windy one. So okay here goes. I went to see Luke tonight, to tell him, you know…." Lorelai trailed off.

 "Well, what happened?" Rory prompted.

"I went to tell him that I liked him, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it, to bare my feelings just to have him reject them. I was so scared he would laugh at me, or worse, not say anything at all."

 "Mom, I think you can't be afraid. I mean, you can be afraid and that's perfectly okay, but you can't let that stop you. Remember when you were going to tell him the wedding was off, and the whole town followed us there?  Everyone thinks Luke's got a thing for you, and I think they're right."

"You sound like Sookie," Lorelai grumbled.

"Well, that should tell you something. I promise he doesn't hate you, he can't hate you, I've seen the way he looks at you." There was dead silence on the other end of the line. "Mom?" 

"You just became your grandmother." Lorelai's voice was full of horror, and Rory guessed that only about half of it was of the mock variety.

"Mom, I suggest you get to the point already because Paris is giving me evil looks." Paris wasn't actually in Rory's line of sight, but it was a safe assumption. "I want all the details…but if this story in any way has a line that goes, 'And then we were on the counter,' I urge you to stop right now."

"Dirty child, no! For shame. So I went there, and I walked in and we made up and he kissed me and then I realized that it was all a fantasy, that I was still in the street and I was getting rained on. Your mother is losing her mind, daughter dearest. Soon you'll be feeding me applesauce and telling me to swallow."

"European swallow or African swallow?" 

"Aw, my baby sure knows how to cheer me up."

"I'm cool like that. Continue."

"So I go in there and we just kind of stare at each other…"

"Was there anyone else in there? Like Taylor, or Miss Patty?"

"No. All alone."

"Good. Continue again."

"And finally he's like, 'there's no coffee,' about as sweetly as sugar-free pie."

Rory's nose wrinkled involuntarily at the mention of the horrendous bakery product. "Ew."

"Tell me about it. And I manage to eloquently stutter that I'm not there for coffee."

"The eloquent stutter is always the best kind of stutter," Rory supplied, hoping to make her mother feel a little better.

"Then there's more staring, until he practically growls 'If you got something to say, say it' and somehow insults my eating habits while he's at it. And I'm mad at him, and I'm mad at myself for being such a wuss, then I realize I miss Growly Insult Luke because he hasn't criticized my eating or coffee habits since it happened, and before I know it, I run over to him and hug him. Before you say 'ew' it wasn't a naughty hug, it was a clingy 'don't leave me, I'm pathetic!' hug

and I say the stupidest thing ever. I tell him, 'I miss you,' and then I run out the door, come home, and call you. And now here I am, calling you."

"So why are you so worried? It wasn't like you said, 'I love you, marry me!'"

"Because what if he doesn't want my gross burger-eating arms touching him? What if he thinks I have coffee cooties? What if he's mad that I got him all wet when I hugged him since I was soaked from the rain?"

"Did he run screaming away from you?"

"No."

"Did he hug you back?"

"I think so. I think he smelled my hair. I'm not sure. What if he doesn't like apple shampoo? What if it made him nauseous? He probably washes his hair with special shampoo that doesn't pollute the water or kill the fish and is made from pine bark or something. He probably likes his women smelling like they just straggled out of the forest."

"Caddie smelled like trees in the rain," Rory said in her best slow southerner voice. 

"Shut the Faulkner up, babe."

Rory giggled. "We're so clever." 

"Yes, that is why everyone in the world bows down before us." 

"Only without the actual physical bowing part."

"Of course. If they bowed down, their eyes could not partake of our beauty, which is why we allow them to bow down before us in only the figurative sense." 

"Aren't we bastions of egalitarianism."

"Too many big words in a teeny sentence, honey."

"Sorry. Throw in Paris, D.C., and this leadership thing and you get Big Word Salad." At the mention of her name, Paris stalked over to Rory.

"What are you saying about me?" she demanded.

Rory turned her head away from the phone to answer her, "It was a compliment to your large vocabulary."

"Fine." Rory could almost see the tiny hairs on Paris' arms and neck settle down, like an angry cat becoming pacified. 

Rory returned her attention to her mom. "What are you going to do?"

"In life, for breakfast tomorrow, or for Halloween?"

"About Luke."

"Invite him over to see a movie, I guess. What movie?" Lorelai pleaded for an answer.

"This coming from the woman who is to movies as Webster is to words."

"Roorrryy!" Lorelai whined.

"Ugh, the phone is making that horrible whiny noise again. Here's my opinion. Don't rent something from the video store and then march over to the diner and thrust the viewing option upon him. Just ask him if he maybe wants to come over some night if he's not busy, and watch a movie or something, just to hang out, nothing big. Be as vague as I'm being now. Act like it doesn't really matter to you one way or the other. And if he asks why, just tell him you like being with him. Then he'll feel guilty about disappointing you by saying no."

"Can't go wrong with a compliment. Where did you get all this wisdom?"

"Movies and T.V."

"That's my girl. So…what movie?"

"Mom! You're not totally helpless. Let him pick one out from the stash we have. And make sure to have Luke-Food there so he doesn't starve." 

"Rory, we are _never going to finish this assignment," Paris screeched._

"Mom, I gotta go. Paris and I have work to do."

"Okay, call me soon to make sure I didn't die of humiliation. I love you and miss you and can't wait until you get back here so I can rub your little tummy and-"

"Mom, I'm not a puppy, don't talk to me like that. I miss and love you too. Now bye."

"Bye."

Rory hung up the phone and turned to Paris. "Happy?"

"Never."

"Bad choice of words. Satisfied?"

"Somewhat. We still have to finish." Rory walked back over to the desk and joined Paris in going over the reading material. Paris looked up at her as she sat down. "I don't know what the big deal is. Luke is the diner guy, right?" Rory nodded. "And what, your mom wants to date him?"

"She doesn't know. Right now, she'd settle for him talking to her in a friendly manner. They got in a fight a few months ago and nothing's been the same."

"What could possibly be so big as to disrupt their lives for months?"

"Remember that cast I had?"

"Yeah, so? Did Luke trip over the throng of boys that are always fighting over you and accidentally knock you to the ground, thereby breaking your arm?"

"No, he didn't. Jess was driving my car and he swerved to avoid a rabbit or a possum or some kind of woodland creature and we went off the road and I got a little fracture in my wrist. So Mom blamed Jess and Luke got defensive then Mom blamed Luke and there apparently was yelling involved, and the whole thing is beyond out of proportion and into the completely absurd category but try telling that to them."

"Your life is like a soap opera."

"Think of what role you've got in it, then." Rory sat down at the desk, reached over and picked up a book on politics. She didn't even want to be in politics, yet somehow she was Chilton's senior class vice president. Part of her was amazed Paris wasn't accusing her of plotting an assassination attempt so that she could assume the presidency. "We should get started."

"I said that an hour ago."

-end ch. 4-

I hate writing phone conversations. Results in pages and pages of dialogue. 

Also if you're wondering what Rory did in regards to Dean, keep wondering since I have no answer for you as of yet. It will be addressed at some point.  But don't get your hopes up if you like Dean, because I can't stand him. It's partly the character, partly the actor's amazing impersonation of a block of wood. And with that, all you Dean-Lovers can start flaming me *eg*.


	6. Chapter 6

I'd like to thank everyone who's reviewed so far. I appreciate it more than I can ever express in words. It's nice to know that there are people willing to read the stuff I'm churning out; if there wasn't, I wouldn't bother.

And Mala- Dean? Really? He's got Riley Jr. stamped all over him! And that's all I shall say. g 

European swallow or African swallow is from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Because that movie rocks. 

Chapter 6

*                                              *                                              *

Sunday morning, Lorelai looked around her sad, empty kitchen and her eyes confirmed what her stomach already knew. There was nothing to eat. Yesterday she'd had a bowl of candy corn and coffee for breakfast, but now the candy corn was gone and the only thing left in her fridge was a bottle of beer and the baking powder box, which she'd decided to name Hannibal after a late night viewing of 'Silence of the Lambs.'

She looked in the fridge just to make sure no food had been magically beamed in during the night. Hannibal the Baking Powder Box and the beer bottle stared back at her. "Don't worry, Hannibal," she muttered, "It'd be too weird to eat you."

She shut the fridge with a grimace. This meant either Doose's market, which was across from Luke's, or Luke's. Or Al's Pancake World, but today was Chinese and it was way too early for that. Previous experience had proven that there were no pizza places open for breakfast.

When she reached the center of town, she sat in the car, debating whether to head to Doose's or Luke's. Sookie was cooking at the inn this morning, but it was Lorelai's day off and she firmly respected the tradition of not going to work when you weren't supposed to. 

Maybe Luke wasn't working in the morning, since he did close up the night before. Then she realized how slim a chance that was. Luke's diner was open for over fifteen hours a day and Luke was always there, because he didn't have anything better to do.

"He needs a life," Lorelai decided, then headed over to Doose's Market.

Lorelai spent the next half hour emptying Taylor's shelves of every non-cooking type food product he had in stock. She ignored a comment from Patty that she really should learn how to cook because the way to man's heart was through his stomach. She'd like to see Patty grow up for sixteen years in a house that had people specifically hired to cook, then see how hard it was to learn the skill with a baby on her hip when she'd never even turned on a stove before in her life.

She dumped her groceries at the check out line, and tried not to slap Taylor when he made a tsk-ing noise. "My, Lorelai, stocking up for the winter, are we. Good to see, we wouldn't want you going hungry."

"Shut up, Taylor." Taylor's profits off Lorelai had gone up since the 'event,' as it had come to be called by the town. He knew that her average Luke's Diner meal total had dwindled from two per day to two a week, at best. Especially now that her Rory-buffer was gone. 

"Personally, I don't see why Luke's holding this grudge against you. Jess _is a hooligan. You were doing nothing more than stating the truth. That man and his stubbornness will lead to the collapse of the Stars Hollow that we know and love, and I'll be there to say I told you so. Even if the hookers, and the drug dealers, and the rest of the riff-raff don't care to listen."_

She would tell him to mind his own business, but that hadn't worked in all the years she'd known him. Sometimes, he was so infuriating with his father-knows-best attitude, and Luke didn't deserver the crap Taylor put him through. She kept her anger to herself, for the moment. 

"Thanks for the support, Taylor." Lorelai suspected Taylor had some kind of gene that allowed him to ignore sarcasm in certain statements in order to interpret them as compliments. She paid for her groceries and piled the many bags into her arms. 

She tried to scurry past the diner, but fate was an evil bitch; Luke happened to step out right when she walked by. 

"Hey," she said, testing the water. It could have been coincidence, or he could have been waiting for her.

"Hey," he said back. He took in the many bags she was holding. "Do you want help?"

"Depends. Are you offering?"

"No, I was gonna make Bootsy do it."

"Then I'll pass." Lorelai felt her burden being lifted anyhow. She followed Luke as he headed over to her jeep. "Is it still a quarter a bag?"

"You should eat better," he commented, purposefully ignoring her question as he put the bags in the back. Among the various items she'd purchased were jelly beans, blueberry muffins, every flavor of Pop Tart Taylor carried, cheese in a can, and marshmallows.

"I did buy graham crackers," she defended.

"S'mores are not healthy."

"I apologize if my eating habits offend you." She made sure to stress the word apologize. "Don't worry though, I'm sure at the rate I'm going I'll be dead by forty-five. Then you can visit my grave and say 'I told you so' for fifty years and hang out with Michel since he's also gonna live forever."

"Lorelai," Luke chided.

"Ooh, you sound like my dad. Scold me some more, I can't get enough when he does it. Go on, force me to eat a grapefruit while you're at it." Lorelai was suddenly angry at Luke. 

"What the hell did I do?" he barked at her. He was trying to be nice, dammit! He'd carried her groceries.

"You didn't do anything that's the whole point!" she screamed back at him. "You're distant and cold and you act like you don't even know me! And then when you do say something, it's insulting. I'm glad that Taylor's getting all my food money now instead of you!" With that, she hopped in her jeep and drove off, leaving Luke just standing there.

He kicked the fire hydrant Lorelai had parked next to. Last night, she comes in his diner and hugs him and tells him she misses him, and today she yells at him. He turned around and stomped back into the diner. Jess watched him as he stormed his way over to the stairs to his apartment. 

"Welcome back, Sunshine," he said, smirking.

"Shut up." Luke thumped up the stairs. 

Jess followed him over to the foot of the stairs and called up, "It's 'cause you want her, jackass!" Luke's persistent sour mood was seriously starting to annoy him. If he and Lorelai didn't make up soon, Jess had a feeling he might cause one or both bodily harm in his frustration. He was sick of Lorelai walking into the diner and asking if Luke was there, then telling him not to mention to his uncle that she'd asked. Then telling him to say she stopped by, then changing her mind again and asking him to keep quiet. And of Luke asking every time he returned to the diner if Lorelai had stopped in. Then assuring Jess it wasn't like he cared or anything, he was just curious. She was good for business, that's all. Jess had better things to do than get thrown into their little soap opera.

Luke slammed the door to his apartment shut and vowed to toss the kid in the lake the next time he got a chance.

*                                              *                                  *

Lorelai stormed around her house, cursing Luke in all kinds of ways that even sailors would be proud of. Her groceries suffered the brunt of her anger as she slammed them into the fridge and cabinets. 

"I'm even stupider than I thought," she muttered. "He hates everything I do and everything I eat and everything I drink, hating me is the next logical step." In her anger, she forgot that just the night before she'd been whining to Rory about how she missed Luke's criticism.

  
An idea occurred to her, and she stopped putting the groceries up. She grabbed an empty box from a closet and began tossing items in. She grabbed one item, the one most precious to her, and apologized to it before also putting it in the box. She was making a statement, and sometimes, extreme sacrifices had to be made. Then she got a marker and wrote in heavy letters on the side. With the box under her arm, she headed out the door.

*                                              *                                  *

Miss Patty was eating at the counter when Lorelai walked into the diner, and Lorelai suspected it was so she could get better glances of Jess's butt. Miss Patty wasn't one to let a bad personality interfere with appreciation of a great body. Lorelai's shoulders slumped. Of course Miss Patty had to be here at this moment. Fate was an evil bitch, indeed. 

"Where's Luke?" she shot at Jess. 

Jess shrugged. "Crying his eyes out upstairs. I hope we don't run out of Kleenex; 'All Dogs go to Heaven' is on tonight."

Lorelai ignored him. Patty watched eagerly. "What's going on, dear?"

"Nothing, Patty."

"Are you and Luke fighting again, or making up? I do wish you'd make up. Although when he's tense, he tends to flex his muscles more, so I am enjoying this little period of domestic upset."

"Luke and I are not domestic anything. Why don't you people get that?"

"Have it your way, poodle." 

Lorelai headed up the stairs, and knocked not so politely on the door. She didn't feel like waiting, so she tried the handle and found it unlocked. It briefly crossed her mind that Luke could be naked or something on the other side, but then she decided that it was his own fault for not locking his door.

She opened the door and stepped into his apartment. He was on the couch, reading. Lorelai was slightly curious about his reading material.

"Jess, get back to work!" he yelled, not looking up.

Lorelai dropped the box on the floor and the crash made Luke look up from his reading.

"Lorelai?"

"I'm sorry I yelled at you," she said, only she still sounded kind of angry. "I was already mad at Taylor and I took it out on you when you didn't deserve the full brunt of it. And I think I have PMS as well."

"The box?"

"Explanation's on the side. Maybe this'll melt away your Mr. Freeze alter ego." Luke vaguely wondered if she'd brought him a space heater. She stepped back through the doorway when he got up from the couch. "Luke, I don't want it to be this way anymore. It doesn't mean we have to forget everything that happened, but we shouldn't act like strangers. I always thought of you as a friend." 

He watched as she closed the door behind her. "That's the problem," he said, but like always, he didn't say it to her. The box still sat there, mocking him. He walked over to it and looked at the note taped to it. '_The Big Box of Everything Luke Hates About Lorelai. I named it __Casper__. You probably hate that, so it's the last thing I'll name that's an inanimate object. Maybe with less to hate about me, you can be a little nicer.'_

So it wasn't a space heater. A sick feeling had already started in his stomach, but he pushed it away. He wasn't the kind of guy who felt those kinds of things. The box wasn't taped shut, so he flipped open the top and looked inside. A coffeemaker, a pound of coffee, a wide assortment of pop tarts, and other assorted junk food stared back at him. Mocking him. Accusing him of being a horrible person. He kicked the box.

*                                                          *                                                          *

"Rory!"

"Mom! You have got to stop calling me all the time and whining before I say hello!"

Lorelai had made a quick retreat to her jeep so that she wouldn't have to face Luke if he had followed her out. She'd had her cell phone out and dialed Rory's number in under three seconds. "We got into another fight! I don't even know why. He was actually trying to be nice and he carried my groceries even though I told him not to, and I was already mad at Taylor, then he just reminded me of grandpa and grapefruit and I felt oppressed so I lashed out at him, and then I went home, and then I just threw away the coffeemaker and the coffee and half the junk food I just bought. How will I live?"

"You did what?" Her mom had lived her life on the crazier side of normal, but throwing away coffee and coffeemaker was just insane.

"Well, I still have the French press and the backup reserves of coffee, but I don't know, I was just so frustrated with Luke and I had this horribly stupid idea that if I gave up all the habits he considers bad he'd be nicer to me, so I put them all in Capser-"

"Who's Casper?"

"The box. You don't think I'd trust the coffeemaker to a complete stranger box! I put it all in and dropped it in Luke's apartment, then beat it out of there before he could do anything, got in the car and called you."

*                                                                      *                                              *

Luke moved quickly down the stairs but Lorelai's jeep couldn't be seen from the windows. Miss Patty looked at him with an interested expression on her face. "What did I miss?"

"Like I'd tell you."

Patty motioned for more coffee and Jess quickly headed over to refill it, hoping to maybe catch a good argument. "Well, I'd tell you things." 

"I wouldn't ask."

She leaned forward over and traced the rim of her coffee cup with her finger. "All kinds of things," she said in a low voice.

"Please don't."

Luke started to walk way, but Patty grabbed his arm, and he stopped walking because even though he really didn't want to hear whatever she was going to say, he knew she wouldn't let go, and he was still too nice of a guy to drag her across the room. 

"Let me tell you a story." Luke immediately regretted not dragging her across the floor. "It's a sweet little play I performed in once, set in a small town, much like Stars Hollow."

"If I walk away, will you follow me and continue this torture?"

"Need you ask? So anyhow, it's about this man. A great, big, strong, handsome man. And he's tough inside, but he's got little tender spots on the inside, especially for one woman in particular."

"I hate him already."

"It gets better, darling. So, Jake, that's his name, he likes this woman. Lola."

"Let me guess, she was a showgirl?" 

Miss Patty ignored him.  "And they're friends, but that's all they are, even though Jake is absolutely smitten. But they're just friends, because poor Jake can't get the courage to tell her how he feels, and Lola doesn't realize how she feels- she likes him too, by the way, but really, what's not to like, I mean this guy is mrowr!" Patty accompanied her growl with a paw swipe. 

"I hope they both die."

"So close! Jake decides that he's finally going to so something about it, but he wants to wait for the perfect time. But then he and Lola get in a fight over something ridiculous, and they're both such stubborn people, so they never make up. They drift apart, Lola decides to start her own business and moves to a nearby town, so Jake only sees her once in a while."

"Great story. Really. Should keep everyone on the edge of their seats…because they're all busy throwing up." He tried to walk away again, but Patty had a raptor-like grip on his arm.

"Then he hears Lola is getting married, and he needs to tell Lola, he can't wait anymore, he can't let her marry someone who isn't him. So just as he's leaving to see her, he gets a phone call, and it's Lola's sister, Tori, and she says Lola's been killed in a car accident. So the point of the story is that Jake was waiting for the perfect time, but he waited too long, and his opportunity was gone. Only then did he realize as long as she was around, it was always the perfect time."

Patty squeezed his arm even harder. She cocked her head to the side and gave him a smile that Luke could only describe as evil. "You know, we don't have a lot of festivals in the summer." Luke dreaded what was coming next. "Oh sure, July 4th, but that's more of a national thing and not a town thing. Maybe the town could do some summer theater, like how New York does Shakespeare in the Park. We could put a small stage in the town square, and perform at night, under the stars, and people could bring blankets and sit on the grass and watch the play. I think the Jake and Lola play would be _perfect, don't you? People love romance and death. They'd have such a good time, taking in the night air and enjoying every single word and detail they see on the stage. One does learn so much from the theater…"_

He'd had enough. "Get out, and take your thinly veiled metaphors and made-up plays with you!" He pointed to the door. "Jess, don't let her in here for a week. She's punished."

Jess nodded. He couldn't care one way or another, but it made things easier if he just pretended to go along with the strange things that went on in this town.

Patty gave a dramatic sigh and slipped off the stool. "I do enjoy being a naughty girl," she said with a flourish, waved at Jess, and left the diner.

Luke shook his head. "Jess, watch the diner for an hour or so. I gotta do something."

"Tell Lola I say hi, Uncle Jake."

"Shut up." Jess was going in the lake twice. But Luke would save the second time for winter. It would be more entertaining.

Luke got in his truck and headed toward the place he feared and hated more than any: the mall.

            *                                              *                                              *

Lorelai was late to work the next morning. It didn't usually matter if she was a few minutes late, but today they were hosting a convention of Swedish businessmen and it started in the early afternoon, which didn't give her much time in the morning to make sure everything was running smoothly. It also hadn't helped her when she made the coffee in the French press, since her coffeemaker had been sacrificed. After wasting a few minutes cursing at it and pushing on the knob, she finally realized that the reason the water wasn't getting much darker was because she'd forgotten to grind the beans. 

The toaster popped, and Lorelai snatched her pop tarts- she'd only given Luke half the boxes she bought, because she might be a little crazy but she wasn't insane. She dropped the pop tarts when her fingers blazed with pain. "Ow, hot. Toaster makes things hot, good to know." Wrapping them in a paper towel, she grabbed another bag of pop tarts just in case she got hungry on the drive to work. With her other hand, she seized her mug of coffee and half-jogged toward the door.

Cursing the cruel fate that had allowed her to be born with only two hands (and a large head), she moved the bag of pop tarts to her mouth, balanced the paper-towel wrapped pop tarts on the coffee lid, grabbed her purse with one hand, slung it over her shoulder and got the door open, all without breaking her stride. If last-minute rushing was an Olympic sport, she'd definitely win the gold. Unless they disqualified her for excessive amounts of caffeine in her blood.

Just as she was thinking this Olympic-themed thought, a large object placed outside her door obstructed the path her feet were taking. Her upper body continued with its forward momentum, though, and before she knew it, she was flying across her porch.

She tried to break her fall with her arms, which were full of things, so it only half succeeded. She landed in front of the stairs hard, rolled, then thumped down the stairs even harder, ending up in a heap at the bottom.

"Ow," was all she could think of to say.

"Dollface!" she heard Babette call, and soon she could see Babette hovering over her, the long ribbon of her gardening hat tickling Lorelai's nose. "I was watering the roses when I heard you scream and then crash! What happened? Are you okay?"

Lorelai tried to sit up, putting her palms on the ground and pushing. There was a lightning bolt of pain in her left arm. "Ow," she managed again, only louder.

"Did you fall down the stairs? It rained last night, they're wet."

"Fall down. Go boom," Lorelai explained. With her right arm she pointed to the front door. "I think Mafia hitmen left me an offer I couldn't refuse."

Babette looked to where Lorelai was pointing and saw a box. She went up the stairs and picked it up, then brought it back over to Lorelai.

"Casper!" she said accusingly when she saw it. There was writing on the side, and a new note on top. She reached for it, but Babette got it first.

"There's no name. It says, 'Broke your coffeemaker. Pop Tarts were also casualties. Sorry. It's impossible to hate you.'" Babette flipped the note over to see if there was anything else. "Who's it from? Oh, is it Luke? It's Luke, isn't it?" Babette looked on the side of the box, where _The Big Box of Stuff Luke Accepts About Lorelai was written in big block letters__. "Ha! I knew it!" she exclaimed, quite gleeful. _

"Luke put that there?" Lorelai wondered. When had he come by? Did he knock and want to come in and talk and she hadn't heard it? What if he thought she was ignoring him on purpose? Or did he just leave it and run? 

"Let's see what's inside!" Babette opened the flaps. 

"Sure, okay, it's not like I have a broken arm or anything," Lorelai muttered. Then she saw what Babette was holding up and it made her forget all about the pain. "It's so beautiful," she whispered, reaching her good arm out to stroke it. She looked over the box. "It has auto-shut off, pause-n-pour, gold-tone filter, a timer, 12-cup capacity, stainless steel thermal carafe, and wow, is that aroma-brew technology? It is!" She went to hug it, only to have the pain in her left arm flair up again. Luke had bought her a new coffeemaker, a beautiful, amazing, spectacular coffeemaker, but he also broke her arm. She didn't know whether to be happy or scream for morphine.

"There's more stuff in here." Babette sounded like it was Christmas. "Pop Tarts. Some danishes, and look, doll, it's a coffee mug." She pulled out the mug and showed it to Lorelai. It was a large stainless steel travel mug, double insulated, and had an etching of Wonder Woman on the side. 

"Wonder Woman?" Lorelai asked. Then she groaned, because her arm hurt. And her head was starting to throb too, maybe she'd hit that on the stairs. 

"Sorry, Sugar! I'm such a dummy. Here you are in pain, and I'm going through your presents. Sit tight, I'll go call the ambulance."

"Babette, no, it's okay. Well, no, it's not okay, but I don't need an ambulance. What if somebody had a heart attack while they're taking me, that wouldn't be fair. I'll drive to the hospital." She staggered to her feet.

"You can't! You could have a concussion. I'll drive you." Babette dashed over to her house, opened the door, found her keys and called out, "Morey! I gotta take Lorelai to the hospital. You call Luke at the diner and tell him it's all his fault!"

-end chapter 6-

Ah, yes the feeble plot appears. And again, that Wonder Woman thing was written before I saw the finale. And you shall see why. 

Also, I've decided what I'm going to do with the R/D/J thing, in case some of you are reading for that. I'm going to do nothing, because Rory's gonna choose neither. I don't want to waste anyone's time, and 90 percent of Jess's appeal to me (as a character) is his interaction with Luke, not Rory. The remaining 10 percent of his appeal lies in that _incredibly tight sweater he wore right before Luke pushed him into the lake. _


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

*                                                          *                                                          *

The phone kept ringing, and Luke was aware that whoever was on the other end of the line wasn't going to give up. That meant it was most likely Taylor, who'd probably been watching from his market, saw that the diner was busy, and was only doing it to hassle Luke about proper business phone etiquette. He dropped off two plates at a table, walked back to the counter, grabbed the phone with one hand and the bag of coffee with the other.

"Luke's," he said, tossing the old filter out and replacing it with a new one. He dumped the coffee in, and involuntarily thought of the time Lorelai had used half the bag for one pot when she was helping him out. He wondered if she'd found the box yet. He'd wanted to knock on her door last night, but was afraid another yelling match might ensue and figured it would be safer if he just left it on the porch where she'd find it the next morning. 

It was Morey on the other end of the line, who promptly told Luke that Babette was taking Lorelai to the hospital. "What?" Luke yelled, loud enough to make the entire diner stop talking and stare at him. He failed to notice. "What happened to her?" Morey didn't really know, he wasn't there, he explained, Babette just said to call him and say it was his fault. "What? How?" he yelled again, only to have Morey quip back that he didn't know, and if he wanted to find out he could go to the hospital and find out for himself.

Luke slammed the phone down. He yanked off his apron and poked his head into the kitchen. "Emergency," he told Caesar, "Finish with the people in here, then close up. Jess'll be at summer school all day so unless you wanna do all the work yourself…" Caesar nodded, and Luke grabbed his keys from behind the counter.

"Hey," he yelled at the diner patrons, even though he'd already had their attention since the phone call. "I gotta go, so I'm closing. Take your time if you want but no one gets anything else to eat, you hear me?" 

He flipped the sign to closed and ignored Kirk's comment to the diner of, "Lorelai probably needs a light bulb changed." Maybe he could get Kirk and Jess into the lake in one shot.

Miss Patty nearly barreled into him as he was walking to his truck. "I told you!" she said. "I told you all about Jake and Lola but you didn't listen to me."

"What? How do you know?"

"Babette called me to make sure you knew, in case Morey forgot to call you."

"What's wrong with her?"

"Oh, I know, but I'm not telling you. You'll just have to sweat it out."

"You're banned for two weeks now," he said, and got in his truck. These people were all crazy.

*                                                                      *                                              *

Luke stalked into the hospital and asked where Lorelai was. The receptionist just stared back at him. "Lo-re-lai Gil-more," he said more slowly, in case she didn't understand him the first time.

The receptionist looked down at her computer, then back up at Luke. "She's in Urgent Care right now, family only. Are you family?"

Before he could answer her, he heard his name being called. "Luke, sugar, you came!" Luke turned to see Babette crossing the waiting room, the soda in her hand coming dangerously close to sloshing over onto the floor. At least if anyone slipped in it, they were at the hospital already, Luke observed.

"What happened to her?" 

"She tripped over a box _somebody left in front of her door, and fell down the porch stairs. I think her arm's broken."_

A wave of guilt flooded over Luke and threatened to drown him. "I knew I should have knocked on the door. Is she okay? Is she mad at me? Of course she's mad at me, I sent her to the hospital. Great, because things were going so well before."

The receptionist tapped the desk and got his attention. "You family?" she asked again.

Luke started to shake his head, but Babette put her hand on his left hand and leaned over to the receptionist. "He's her husband." Babette squeezed his hand hard so he wouldn't protest. "He was at work so he just found out. Do you think he can go see her?"

"Room 244."

Babette and Luke walked away from the desk. "Why'd you do that?" Luke didn't know why, but he was embarrassed. 

"So you can go in and see her, silly. It worked in 'While You Were Sleeping.'" 

"Thanks, I guess." Luke headed over to the elevators. "Is Lorelai mad at me? Just let me know so I can be slightly prepared."

"Oh honey, I don't know. She's been there a while, they've probably given her pain medication, so chances are she's in a good mood."

The elevator doors opened and Luke stepped in. Babette gave him a hopeful look before the doors closed.

Luke spent a few minutes looking for room 244, which turned out not to be a room but a tiny closet-sized area surrounded by a curtain. Since he couldn't knock on the curtain, he called out, "Lorelai?"

"Yeah," came the reply. He opened the curtain and stepped in, then closed it behind him. 

"Hey." He stood there awkwardly looking at her. Her arm was in a cast, and the guilt he'd been feeling in the lobby doubled. "I'm sorry, it was stupid of me to leave a box right in front of your door. I just thought that if I put it off to the side it might be three weeks before you noticed it. I'm sorry." 

Lorelai watched him fidget, shifting his weight from foot to foot and stuffing his hands in the pockets of his jeans. She believed him when he said he was sorry, but finally, after all this time, _she was in control. Now it wouldn't be her begging for forgiveness. Maybe falling down stairs and breaking her arm wasn't too bad after all. "You know, it feels like we've done this before…not too long ago."_

"Yeah, what are the chances. Wow. Did you uh, call Rory yet?"

Lorelai shook her head. "She wasn't in; she usually doesn't get back to the dorm until after seven. Later if Paris insists on library time."

"I'll have to ask her if this is irony or satire or some other word they teach you at those fancy schools." He edged closer to the bed and sat in the small chair next to it. Lorelai turned her head to follow him. He reached out to touch her hand, then thought about it and pulled his hand back. "I hate hospitals," he muttered.

"Then maybe you Danes boys should stop sending us Gilmore girls to them." Though she was serious, Lorelai wasn't being harsh. She reached over and squeezed his hand.

"Here I was, thinking I was doing a good thing. This is why I shouldn't do good things, because they always end up bad."

"Hey, that cake you baked for Rory didn't come out bad."

"Never gonna let me live that down, are you?"

"Nope. Every time I think of you blowing up balloons, I giggle. It's better than Prozac."

Luke took off his baseball cap, ran his hand through his hair, and put it back on. "Did you uh, like the coffeemaker?"

"My love for the coffeemaker is what got me through the pain. It's like a second child. Rory better watch out, I might love it more than her by the time she gets back from D.C." She laced her fingers through his, then got serious. "It looks expensive; you shouldn't have wasted your money on me."

"Forget about it, the important thing is you like it. I really am sorry about breaking the other one. I know you probably had some sentimental attachment to it. It probably had a name."

"How _did Harry get broken?"_

"I kicked the box."

"You kicked Casper?" Lorelai mock gasped. "You big bully!"

"Well, I'm not big on verbal expressions of feelings. I like to use my foot."

"True. Or you could have pushed Harry in the lake." Lorelai tried to readjust her position on the bed, her butt had fallen asleep again. She winced when her head hit the pillow a little too hard.

"Are you hurt? Does it hurt?" Luke quickly asked. He felt like throwing up every time she looked like she was in pain. 

"Yeah. I kind of hit my head on the stairs, it's a little tender. Still got all my ABCs and 123s, though, so I'll be fine." Lorelai felt the pain killers she'd been given start to take effect. "Whee," she said, a small smile playing over her face. When Luke look confused, she explained, "The dope. They wouldn't give it to me right away, something about a possible concussion. I threatened to use the stash of cocaine I keep in my purse instead, but they still refused to give it to me. I just took a pill a few minutes before you came."

"Before you get too loopy, I want to make sure you know how sorry I am."

"Why the Wonder Woman mug?" Lorelai asked, out of the blue. 

"You don't like it."

"I like it. 'Wonder Woman!'" Lorelai sang. Then she frowned. "I don't get it."

Luke sighed. Maybe she wouldn't remember this. "I always kinda thought you looked like Wonder Woman, and I saw it in a store when I was leaving with the coffeemaker. My first ever impulse buy."

"Awww. Maybe I'll be Wonder Woman for Halloween then."

Lorelai, a red bustier, blue underpants, knee high boots, and a lasso. Luke could find no objection whatsoever to this idea. "Sounds like a plan."

"You know who you could be?" She lifted her index finger from his grip and pointed, but didn't let go of his hand.

  
"Say Superman and I'll smother you with the pillow before the nurse can get in here and save you."

"Don't worry, I wasn't going to. You and tights, I'm guessing it's not a winning combination. No, I thought that maybe, instead of wearing your flannel shirt tucked out, you could tuck it in, and let your stubble grow out some more, and carry a hammer and be Bob Villa."

Luke actually smiled, both at the idea and the cute way she was getting drowsy. Her words were getting a little slurred, and her eyelids were drooping. If he had to be serious, and he did, then he needed to do it soon. "I've decided that fighting with you is stupid."

"I already knew that. Knew it a long time now. Don't want to fight. Shouldn't have said some of those things. It was just…it was Rory, and she's my baby, and I love her more than anything. I love her more than you, and your kid hurt her, and you were right there, and she wasn't, and you were fine and I didn't know how she was, and it made me angry that you were okay and that Jess was okay but Rory wasn't."  

Lorelai's eyes were closed now, but Luke could see the glimmer of tears under her lashes. He wondered what she meant by 'I love her more than you,' then dismissed it. It didn't necessarily imply that she loved him like that. She loved Sookie, after all, but it wasn't like she wanted to get in Sookie's pants. 

He held her hand a little tighter. "I forgive you. You forgive me. I'll give you coffee when you ask for it. Sound like a deal?"

Lorelai smiled and nodded. "Mmm-hmm." He let her fall asleep, and sat there for a few minutes, holding her hand and watching her, but not in a creepy, stalker way. Or at least, he hoped it wasn't. He squeezed her hand and she rolled a little closer, and without thinking he leaned over and kissed her forehead.

Of course, the curtain was pulled aside at that very moment and he jerked back, mortified. 

"Good thing you're here. She's ready to go home," the doctor informed him. He introduced himself as Dr. Cox, and held out his hand. 

Luke shook it with the hand that wasn't entwined with Lorelai's. "I'm her husband!" he quickly stated, afraid of getting caught lying but also afraid they would kick him out and not let him take her home. He calmed down a little when Dr. Cox didn't ask to see some form of identification. "Is she okay? She was a little groggy when I got here. She says she's fine but she's very stubborn."

"It's just a small, hairline fracture in her ulna and a couple of bruises. She has a very mild concussion from a bump on her head but she'll be okay." Dr. Cox handed him a couple of pills and a prescription. "These are for any pain she might have. One or two every six hours, there's a few to get you going until you get the prescription filled. The cast will probably be on for three weeks."

Luke thought that maybe Lorelai should be the one getting all the instructions, so he gently nudged her. She pouted in her sleep. "Five more minutes," she mumbled and turned her head further into the pillow. Damn her.

Dr. Cox shrugged his shoulders and continued his lecture; he had six other patients to see, lunch to eat, and he didn't have time to discuss the details with a doped-up patient. It was better off he tell the husband what to do anyhow. "Make sure she doesn't put pressure on the arm and if she feels dizzy or has problems with vision, come in. Otherwise, she'll only need to come back for the removal." He looked at her chart. "That should be it…" he trailed off as he read, then his eyebrows raised. "How does she eat?" he asked Luke.

"Like a pig that got into a stash of pot."

"That's the problem with high cholesterol; even skinny, healthy looking people can have it. The routine bloodwork shows hers is on the high side of normal. Triglycerides look okay, so does glucose…for now, anyway. She should try lowering her cholesterol through dietary changes since it's not high enough to warrant medication. Yet."

"You want her to eat healthier?" Luke scoffed. "I've been trying for years now."

"What's her typical daily meal consumption like?"

"Seven cups of coffee, all before noon, usually pancakes with bacon and/or sausage for breakfast, burger for lunch, five more cups of coffee, and at some point in the day there's pie, ice cream, or both. And her best friend's a chef who puts Emeril to shame in the amount of butter used in every dish."

Dr. Cox actually looked impressed. "I wish I had that metabolism. Get her to cut out some of the fattier meats, at the least."

"She won't believe me when I tell her you said that. Can I get a note, or something? And just for the hell of it, could you tell her to lay off the caffeine?"

Dr. Cox smirked. "Any other grievances you wish me to address?" He scribbled away on his clipboard, then handed Luke the note.

Luke took the note and put it in his pocket. "Trust me, you don't have enough paper."

"Any questions? Someone'll be here with discharge papers to sign and to wheel her out."

"No, I think I got it. Thanks." He shook Dr. Cox's hand before he left, and waited for the papers impatiently. He really hated hospitals.

*                                                                      *                                                          *

Luke stepped out of the elevator into the lobby, followed by an orderly pushing Lorelai in a wheelchair. Lorelai, for her part, wasn't even enjoying the ride because she was too busy sleeping. 

"Lorelai, are you better, sweetie?" Babette rushed over when she saw them. "Why isn't she speaking?" she asked, nervous.

"The pain medication knocked her out," Luke explained. "I'm gonna pull the truck around, wait here with her, okay?"

Babette nodded and for the first time noticed the cute, young orderly pushing Lorelai's wheelchair. "With pleasure, honey."

Luke drove up to the entrance and got out of the truck. 

"I can take her home," Babette said.

"The doctor said she needs to be watched for the next day or so, and it is my fault, so I thought I'd just let her sleep in my apartment, that way I can watch the diner and her."

"Whatever you say, sugar." She winked at him. 

Luke rolled his eyes, fidgeted with his hat, and wished Babette would stop using sweetener-related endearments on him. He dug the prescription out of his pocket. "Do you think you can get this filled for her?" Babette nodded and took the prescription. He gently shook Lorelai's shoulders. "Hey, can you get up?"

"Don't wanna," she mumbled. Luke rolled his eyes again, and scooped her out of the wheelchair. Lorelai snuggled her cheek against his chest. "Mmm…smell good."

Luke was turned on and suspicious at the same time. He kept expecting her to reveal this to be a charade and laugh at him. He put her in the passenger seat of the truck and managed to get the seatbelt on. 

Babette grabbed his arm before he got in the truck. "I called the inn to let them know what happened, but I couldn't get a hold of Rory. Lorelai said the number's programmed into her phone, in her purse." 

Luke nodded and got in the truck. "I'll call her."  
  


Babette handed him the purse; Luke awkwardly held the girly item, then dropped it on the seat next to him. "Great. Thanks for taking her here."

"It's no problem." She waved as Luke drove off. He had no doubt in his mind that she'd be calling Patty the second she got home.

*                                                                      *                                              *

Luke found a spot not far from the diner to park, and was trying to get Lorelai to wake up so she could walk on her own. "Come on, Lorelai, rise and shine." He shook her. "Look, the only way they wake people up in movies is buckets of cold water, which I don't have, or a slap, which I'm not gonna do, or a kiss, which I'm _really not gonna do. So wake up. This is turning into a monologue here, which isn't good since I'm not known for my verbosity." He shook her again, and she opened her eyes._

"Carry me," she ordered.

"If you can talk, you can walk."

"Carry me," she whined, holding out her arms and waving them.

"You owe me," he said, picking her up and minding her arm. When she rubbed her cheek against his chest, he thought that was a pretty good way to make it up to him.

"You smell good," she said again, slightly more lucid than when they were leaving the hospital.

"Yeah, like bacon and coffee."

"Like Luke," she corrected.

"You smell good too," he admitted. She was still using that apple shampoo.

"Trees in the rain," she mumbled, and slipped back into sleep. He had no idea what she was talking about and dismissed it as drug-induced.

He turned the corner and almost ran into the small crowd that had gathered on the other side. "What are you people doing here?"

"Waiting for you to come back. It's lunch time," Kirk said. He looked at Lorelai in Luke's arms. "Carrying your new bride over the threshold?"  He caught sight of the cast. "Did you beat her into submission?"

"Shut up, Kirk." He walked up the stairs and opened the door. 

"So are you open for lunch, or not? Because I'm hungry."

"Ten minutes," Luke barked, and closed the door on Kirk's face. He turned the lock with a satisfying click before Kirk could open the door.

"Caesar?"

"In the kitchen." 

Luke headed toward the sound of Caesar's voice. "Hey, open up in ten minutes or so. If Kirk's still there, make it twenty."

"What happened to her?"

"She tripped on something and broke her arm. She's in the magical world of prescription pain killers right now. I'm putting her upstairs to sleep it off, then I'll be down." Caesar nodded and Luke headed for his apartment. He opened the door and glanced at the clock. Twenty three minutes after noon, which meant Jess would be back from school in under three hours, and Lorelai would be out longer than that. 

He put her in his bed, wryly noting that it would probably be the only time she'd ever sleep there. Digging the little packet of pills out of his pocket, he left it on the nightstand in case she woke up in pain, then filled a glass with water and left it there too. He looked at her one last time, until he reached the time limit where 'concerned friend' turned into 'obsessed stalker,' and went back to the diner.

-end ch. 6-

When Lorelai mentioned thinking herself Wonder Woman in the S3 premiere, I was like "Yes!" 

Because she will be Wonder Woman.

(cue Yoda voice)

She will be…

And again I'd like to extend my unending gratitude to everyone who reviewed for both this fic and The Substitute. It makes me happy to know that you guys are still reading and enjoying, and not groaning in pain whenever I put a new chapter up. Well, maybe some of you are groaning in pain and are groaning silently. *g* 


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

*                                                                      *                                                          *

Jess walked in to the diner at half past three. Even though it was a five minute walk from the school, Luke let it slide. 

"I need you to get on," he told Jess as he ran some food to a table of two female tourists. When he set the plates down, the pretty brunette winked at him. Luke blinked. He wasn't used to open flirting. He gave a quick smile back and turned back to his nephew.

Who had already started up the stairs. "I said, get on."

"Get on what? The counter? I could do a little dance but Patty's not here and I'd rather wait for her to come so I can make more money."

"Get on the floor, get on shift, do you need me to draw you a picture?"

Jess sighed. "I just got back. I should at least get to watch the after school specials."

"Shove it and get on."

"Fine, but without those specials I'll never find out that drugs are _bad."_

 Luke ignored him. "And don't go upstairs. Lorelai's sleeping."

"Tired her out, did you?"

Luke threw the apron at him as hard as it was possible to throw an apron. "Money is the brick that paves the path to financial independence. The more you work now, the sooner you can get out of here when you graduate. So work."

Jess put the apron on and turned his back to Luke. 'Money is the brick that paves the path to financial independence?' Where the hell did Luke come up with that crap? He grabbed the coffee pot and went over to the table with the two women. "Hey pretty ladies, more coffee?" 

The blonde giggled and whispered to her friend, loud enough so Jess could hear, "Ooh, now there're two of them." Jess filled their cups, winked, and walked away. 

He could hear their giggling. "Yeah, I'm good," he assured himself. 

*                                              *                                              *

Lorelai woke up, in a semi-dark room. As her eyes were adjusting to the dim sunlight that filtered through the curtains, her brain started freaking out, wanting to know just where the hell she was and demanding her eyes work faster at resolving the question. She soon recognized the pattern on the curtains, and knew she was in Luke's apartment. Then realized she was in his bed. Her head hurt.

"Did I get drunk?" she wondered, and lifted her left arm so she could brush the sleep from her eyes. She hit herself in the forehead with her cast. "Ow."

Then it all came to her. Her super graceful tumble down the porch stairs, her exciting morning spent at the hospital, waiting around with a pain in her arm and a bump on her head until the heart attack and stroke patients were taken care of and they could spare a doctor for her. Luke had been there at the end, of that she was certain. She only remembered parts of their conversation clearly. There was something about Bob Villa, but he couldn't have been there. Could he? But she vividly recalled a forgiveness pact, and if it wasn't her imagination playing a cruel trick, it meant there would be no more fighting. Yay.

But not yay to her arm, which was throbbing. And the back of her head still hurt. Slowly, she got out of Luke's bed- she was in _Luke's bed, her brain pointed out- and walked to the living room area. "Uh, Luke? Jess?" _

Wow, she had to pee. She went to the bathroom, then decided to head downstairs and find Luke. Or get coffee. Or both. 

            *                                              *                                              *

Luke was just about to go check on Lorelai when he saw her standing at the foot of the stairs. He hurriedly refilled the two women's coffees for the sixth time or so then walked over to her, pot still in hand.

"Go back upstairs and rest some more."

"Oh, you brought me coffee," Lorelai reached for the pot. Luke held it over her head where she definitely couldn't reach it.

The brunette woman watched the exchange from across the diner and pouted. "Damn, he has a girlfriend."

"Upstairs. You need to sleep."

"I need _coffee. And any type of movie-star strength pain killer." She reached for the coffee pot with her good arm. Jess appeared by her side like he was David Copperfield and stuck a mug of coffee in her hand, then was just as suddenly gone. "Whoa, that kid's sneaky," she muttered, then took a giant sip. Then she frowned. "This better not be decaf."_

"It's not," Jess called, already across the restaurant, in front of the women's table. He'd only given it to her so he wouldn't have to witness another 'Please, Luke!' 'No.' 'Please, Luke!' 'No!' bit. It wasn't out of the kindness of his heart, but the weakness of his stomach. 

"I left the pills and some water on the nightstand. Go back up and get them. And stay in the bed, 'cause they knock you out and I'm not carrying you around again."

"Hmm…ordering me to stay in your bed and drugged, to boot. Whatcha planning on doing to me?" 

Luke flushed and pointed up the stairs. "Go, now." Why did she make everything so difficult?

"I'm going. But I really don't think it's a good idea to let me take prescription medication on an empty stomach…" she looked up hopefully at him and batted her eyelashes.

"I'll bring you something up in a few minutes." 

She went back upstairs and Luke went to the kitchen to make her something. He overheard Jess talking to the two women.

"So, what're your names?"

"Mary," one said.

"Let me guess, you're Sue?" he said to the other.

She giggled. "No, I'm also Mary. We're both Mary."

"How contrary," Jess sardonically replied.

The women giggled. Luke wished the pancakes would cook faster.

*                                              *                                              *

Luke found Lorelai sitting in his bed and was somewhat surprised to see she was obeying him. The drugs must not have worn off completely. He handed her the plate of pancakes.

"Ha ha. There better be a burger wedged between those babies."

"The doctor said your cholesterol was high and to lower the amount of red meat you have."

"Liar. I don't remember him saying that." She started eating the pancakes anyhow.

"He said it after you fell asleep. I knew you wouldn't believe me, so I had him write a note." He pulled said note out of his pocket and handed it to her. She read it and frowned. 

"You paid him off." She crumbled it up and threw it aside. He picked it up and put it back in his pocket. 

"No I didn't."

"Please, it also says in there I should cut down on coffee. That is an obvious sign you had something to do with it."

"You don't pay doctors off, it's not like they're mafia-corrupted cops. Hippocratic oath ring a bell?"

"Whatever." She finished the pancakes and handed the empty plate to him. It had taken her all of a minute to eat them.

"There's still a crumb or two left, Miss Piggy." 

Lorelai snatched the plate and licked the whole thing clean, then handed it back to him. "Oink."

"Gosh, that's attractive." He put the plate on the nightstand and stood there. She'd taken the pills he'd left for her, and he reminded himself to call Babette for the rest of them. 

Lorelai's eyes widened. "Rory!" she remembered.

"I called her. She wasn't in. I'll call her again later."

"You're a good man, Luke Danes."

"Yeah, just don't go around repeating that." He picked up her empty plate, and pulled the covers over her. "Go to sleep. Dr. Cox said you needed to rest and that since you're all hopped up on dope you should be watched. Babette's getting the rest of your prescription filled, and I'll take you home after I close tonight."

"Who's gonna watch me at home?" 

"I'll put Pierpont on the couch."

"Okay." Lorelai yawned. Luke took that as a cue to leave. 

*                                                          *                                                          *

  
The phone rang in Paris' and Rory's room and Paris glared at her. Rory glared back and said, "Just get it." Only it sounded more like "rus ret ih" because she was brushing her teeth.

"Hello," Paris said in a voice that certainly wouldn't have landed her a job as a telephone representative. 

"Yeah, is uh, Rory there?" a gruff voice asked.

"Rory it's a _man for you." _

Luke, who was using Lorelai's cell phone and standing outside the diner because he wasn't a hypocrite, cringed. He knew that voice. That was the scary girl that demanded to see his prostitutes and drugs. He hoped he wouldn't have to talk to her.

Rory finished brushing her teeth and wiped her mouth. "Ooh, a man." She took the phone. "Hello?"

"Rory, it's Luke." 

"I figured. A little surprised, though. What's up?"

"Well, I'm calling to tell you, since your mom's asleep right now."

Rory's eyes bugged and her mouth dropped. "Ew! No, don't tell me this, I don't want to know!"

"What? Rory, your mom tripped and fell down the porch stairs and broke her arm."

"What? How'd that happen? Is she okay?" Rory was relieved that Luke was not calling to tell her about him and her mom and sex, but she was still super worried.

"She'll be fine, it's just a hairline fracture, and a bump on the back of her head. Almost like your escapade. It's kind of funny, in that way of it not being funny at all."

"Well, you know what they say, like daughter, like mother. How'd she fall down the stairs? If it was Sookie I wouldn't need to ask, but Mom's not really clumsy."

"Yeah, well that was kind of my fault." 

"Okay, I know you guys weren't getting along but I didn't think you would push her down the stairs, Luke!"

He explained how the box he'd left initiated the whole incident.

"Does leaving a box for her mean you guys aren't fighting anymore?" Rory tried not to sound too hopeful or excited.

"Something like that. I'm really, really, really sorry, Rory. I didn't mean to hurt her."

She smiled; her mom had been so miserable for the past month. Maybe now things would get better. "It's okay, it wasn't on purpose. Believe me, I get it." 

"Yeah. I was wondering if it was irony or satire."

"I think it's just coincidence."

"If you want, I'll have her call you when she wakes up."

"That would be most appreciated. And Luke?"

"Yeah, Rory?" 

"Even though I'm not blaming you, I accept your apology."

"Thanks."

"Luke?"

"What now?"

"Do you think you can mail me some of your coffee? The coffee here sucks and I have to walk three blocks to get a slightly decent cup."

"I'll mail you some herbal tea."

"You are an evil man."

"You know it." 

"Bye, Luke."

"Bye, Rory."

She hung up and waited for Paris to say something. Sure enough, she wasn't disappointed. "Wow, I wish I had that kind of close relationship with the guy that makes my latkes at the deli."

"What's a latke?"  

*                                                                      *                                                          *

When Lorelai woke up again, there wasn't any sunlight peeking through the curtains. Neither Luke nor Jess were in the apartment, so she once again made use of the facilities, borrowed Luke's brush because her hair apparently thought it was 1985, and went downstairs to scavenge for coffee.

There were only a few people eating- Monday night wasn't really a hopping night in Star's Hollow- and saw from the clock in the diner that it was almost eight-thirty. It was definitely dinner time. She took a seat at the counter and waited for Luke to appear. 

"Burger with fries," she ordered when he came back from the kitchen.

Luke shook his head and pointed to the wall facing the counter. There was a new frame, and Lorelai squinted to see what it was holding. Then she frowned. "Oh, very funny. Burger with fries," she repeated.

"Can't. Doctor's orders." He went around the counter and took an order from a table.

"Jess?" Lorelai called and looked around. 

"Yeah?" he popped up from under the counter, startling Lorelai and nearly knocking her out of the seat. With her luck, it would have broken her other arm. 

"What are you doing down there? Never mind. Burger and fries."

"Anything for you, Ms. Gilmore." 

"What, are you auditioning for the Waltons?" Luke was heading back to the counter. "Hurry!" she whispered to Jess. 

"Hey!" Luke yelled, and Jess stopped walking. "You get that for her and you die." 

Jess shrugged. "Whatever you say, Uncle Luke." 

After four hours, the kid was starting to annoy him with his endless supply of derision. The diner wasn't too busy, and he could handle it on his own, so he told Jess, "Get lost." 

"But how will I pave my road to financial independence without the money bricks?" Jess smirked before heading upstairs. 

"Damn kid."

Lorelai was staring at the wall with disbelief. "I cannot believe you framed that stupid doctor's note. I don't even think the guy was a real doctor. Did he say 'Hi everybody!' when he walked in the room?"

Luke ignored her.

"You probably made him up. I mean, Dr. Cox? Please. You totally ripped that off from 'Scrubs.'"

Luke ignored her some more and walked around the counter, refilling coffee to the one table that was left.

"Why not just sign it Dr. Frankenstein? Or that guy from MASH, what's his name, Hawkeye?"

Luke returned behind the counter, put the coffee away, and leaned on the counter in front of her. "You will not get any burger tonight. I will give you fries, but only if you get some form of non-fried chicken. Dr. Cox is real, that note is real, your cholesterol is real, and until you lower it that note will remain framed on the wall. Capisce?"

"You're so sexy when you speak Italian."

"No burger."

Lorelai rolled her eyes. "Fine, grilled chicken sandwich, _with fries.__ And coffee." Luke turned to get her the coffee. She stuck her tongue out at him behind his back, then at the frame. "Stupid doctor," she muttered._

Luke put the mug in front of her, then reached in his pocket and pulled out her cell phone. "Call Rory. And because I'm such a nice man and feel incredibly guilty, I'll let you use it in here."

"How generous of you, Daddy Warbucks."

"Bite me."

Lorelai hit the speed dial and waited for Rory to get the phone.

"Hello?"

"Luke won't let me have a burger."

"Mom!"

"Hey, sweetie."

"Are you okay? Do you feel okay? What's going on with you and Luke?" 

"Apparently, Luke paid off a doctor to say I have high cholesterol. Other than the burger-withdrawal I'm currently suffering from, I'm okay."

"Do you have a cast?"

"Yeah, but I don't mind. Some pretty girl with big blue eyes started a cast trend. Now I'm cool."

"You should make Luke sign it."

"Or pay the doctor's bill."

"He says it's his fault. I told him he was being stupid."

"Be careful or he might ban you from burgers too." She waited until Luke was farther away, then said, "It's not technically his fault, I should have been looking where I was going; but the beautiful thing is that he feels all guilty for it, so I said I'd forgive him if he forgave me, and so now we have a truce."

"Boy, you're sneaky. The UN should hire you for the Middle East peace talks."

"I thought they already had Ginger Spice working on it."

"So are you going to tell Luke?" 

"About what?"

"About the whole you liking him thing."

"I don't know," Lorelai looked up when Luke put the chicken sandwich in front of her. "My burger looks funny," she told him.

"I liked you better when you were doped up on drugs." Luke looked out the window, hoping to see Babette; she'd said she'd be swinging by the diner to drop off Lorelai's prescription after she made dinner. Luke thought she couldn't get there fast enough. If he'd known how much grief she'd be giving him over the cholesterol thing, he would have asked Dr. Cox to make a video. 

When Luke left, she continued talking to Rory. "It's just that it was one thing when he wasn't talking to me at all. It was like, 'what have I got to lose?' But now that we've made up, it's amazing how fast we've settled back into our old routine."

"Where you whine and he resists, and you flirt, and he gives in. Repeat if necessary."

"Yeah. It's almost like the whole month and a half of badness never happened. Although my basis for judgment may be impaired by pain killers."

"So you're chickening out."

"No! Maybe. I don't know. We'll see."

Rory sighed. Paris threw a pencil at her. "We don't have time for this, our presentation is tomorrow morning, and unless it's on your mom and the diner man, we're screwed."

"Was that pencil sharpened?" Rory asked. "Hey Mom, Paris is putting me in physical jeopardy, so I really gotta go. Call me tomorrow when you're not under the thrall of Perky McPercocet and we'll talk."

"Okay, honey. Bye." She hung up the phone and took a bite of her chicken sandwich. "Hey, Luke," she said, her mouth full. 

"What?" If she made one more burger comment, he was cutting off the coffee.

"This is good."

"Good."

The bell tinkled and Luke looked up. Babette waved and held out a little white bag. "Here you go, dollface," she said, giving the bag to Lorelai.

"Ooh, my drug dealer has arrived. Did you make sure the fuzz wasn't on to you?"

"Yeah, that's how a real drug deal sounds. Thanks for getting it, Babette." 

Lorelai snorted. "Please, Luke, you've lived in Stars Hollow all your life, like you know what a real drug deal sounds like either."

"You okay?" Babette put her hand on Lorelai's arm.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks for driving me there." 

"You're welcome, sweetie. Now if you two will excuse me, I have to get to Doose's before Taylor closes." 

Lorelai watched her go, then turned to Luke. "Hey, can I have a percocet for dessert?"

"No. It's only been five hours. You have to wait at least six."

"How about I take this one now, then I'll take the one after that seven hours later?"

"No."

"Then how about some pie?"

"A small piece."

"But it has fruit, which is healthy. Big piece."

"Small piece."

"Big piece!" She pouted.

"Big piece," Luke conceded, and she grinned. "But we'll share it."

Lorelai gasped. "You? Pie? Maybe I was put in a coma when I fell down the stairs and this is some kind of wacky coma-dream, like 'Vanilla Sky' only without the scary Cameron Diaz."

"Or maybe, once in a while, in moderation, pie can be good."

"Definitely a coma-dream." Luke reached over and pinched her good arm. "Ow!" She grimaced. "Guess it's real."

"Night, Luke!" The last table of the night got up.

Luke waved at the customers as they left, and bussed their table. As he was picking up the plates, Jess came down the stairs. "Where're you going?"

"Out," Jess descriptively replied.

"Plan on causing trouble?"

"Only if the movie sucks."

"Don't stay out late."

"I'll be back by sunrise," Jess called over his shoulder as he went out the door.

"I see you've got him under control." Lorelai was only half sarcastic; Jess was still far from being the poster child for perfection, but he had gotten a bit more disciplined than when he'd first arrived.

Luke shrugged. "He learned the hard way that if he comes back too late all the deadbolts are in place. Or if he stays out late and doesn't wake up in time for school, Mr. Bucket of Ice Water is more than happy to wake him up."

Lorelai grinned. "I wish I could have seen that."

Luke grinned back, and put the big slice of pie in front of her. "Yeah, I regret not taping it." He handed her a fork.

She took a large bite. "Mmm, apple." She closed her eyes and savored the yumminess. 

Luke savored the sight of her. When she opened her eyes, he quickly averted his gaze and took a forkful of pie. "Uh, the doctor said that you shouldn't be left alone tonight because of the medication." Actually, Dr. Cox had just said to 'keep an eye on her', since he'd thought they were married and wouldn't have been alone anyhow, but Luke wasn't going to take any chances.

"Maybe I'd agree with that statement if you actually let me take my medication."

"In a little bit. You have two choices. You can stay here, and sleep in my bed, and I can sleep in Jess's bed, and he can sleep on the couch, or I can take you home and I'll sleep on your couch and make sure you don't stick a fork in the toaster during your drugged out state."

"You forgot the third choice."

"We sleep in the gazebo?"

"You and I can sleep in your bed together. Jess is gone." It was supposed to be a joke, but Lorelai didn't really know if she was kidding or not. 

Luke didn't know either. He decided the safest way to go would just be to assume she was joking. If she was, but he thought she was serious, it would be the best way to make an ass out of himself. "I don't trust you; you might take advantage of me. And then I'd be damaged goods."

"Hey, I'm the one on drugs, I think _you would take advantage of __me."_

Luke grabbed the last bite of pie and shoved it in his mouth before she could stop him. He leaned forward. "I already did," he said conspiratorially. 

Lorelai gasped. "Naughty!" she scolded, though he wasn't sure if it was about his comment, or his pie hogging, or both.

To compensate for stealing the last of the pie, Luke got up and refilled her coffee cup without her even asking for more. "I'll take you home; you don't mind if I sleep on your couch, right?"

"Actually, I do. You're way too big for it, you won't sleep well at all. You can sleep in my bed."

"Wait, we already had this little exchange."

"You can sleep in my bed by yourself. Rory's not home, remember? I'll sleep in her room, and you can take my room, because there's no way I'm letting a grown man sleep in Rory's bed, even if that man is you and even if Rory's not in it. It just doesn't bode well; horrible foreshadowing possibilities exist."

Luke felt a little weird about taking her bed, but the couch really was kind of small for him. "Sounds good."

-end ch. 8-

Thanks for reading and sticking with- the action is JUST picking up. Hubba hubba.

A little note: I started on the next chapter of The Substitute a while ago but I got stuck and have since spent my spare time reading Wolverine fics. Yes, of the X-Men. I admit, I used to read X-Men comic books when I was but a child and have had a crush on a *comic book* character since then. I freely admit to my status of Huge Flaming Geek. Anyhow, it kind of struck me as funny because all of a sudden, reading these Wolvie fics, I come to the realization that I have a thing for scruffy, loner, gruff men in flannel and jeans with big shoulders. My point? Don't expect the new chapter soon, as I'm still passing the time reading these wolvie fics and watching my X-Men DVD. I'd kiss the feet of whoever was responsible for casting Hugh Jackman in a heartbeat; unless Hugh Jackman was actually IN the room at the same time….


	9. Chapter 9

  
Chapter 9

*                                              *                                              *

Forty minutes later, Lorelai was already falling asleep again. Luke had let her take her painkillers after finishing the pie, but he still had to close up the diner before he could take her home. 

"Do you do this _every night?"_

"You mean, clean? Yes, I clean every night."

"But it's so long and boring. And a waste of time. It's just going to get dirty again tomorrow."

"The health inspector doesn't agree with you."

"Yeah, well, screw him."

"He's fifty-eight and forty pounds overweight; I'll pass."

"Yeah. You got standards, after all." Lorelai wrinkled her nose. "What is that horrific smell? And that weird black thing it seems to be coming from."

"Sulfur. And the weird black thing is a grill brick, to scrape the grill clean. It's a volcanic rock, it's got tiny spicules in it that are good for scraping metal clean because they're tough, but not hard enough to scratch the grill and damage it."

"Thanks for the lecture, Mr. Wizard." 

"Just trying to keep you from falling asleep."

"Here's a tip: don't lecture me on rocks." Lorelai took the last sip of her beloved coffee, which she'd been hoarding since Luke turned off and cleaned the coffee machine twenty minutes ago. She pushed the mug aside and folded her arms on the counter, pillowing her head against them. "I didn't realize it takes this long after closing to finish."

"Why do you think I'm always kicking you and Rory out? I got things to do."

"I just thought you were unsocial."

"That too." He tossed the grill brick in the trash.

"Yay! All done?"

"Almost. The trash and the grease bucket need to be taken out."

"Grease bucket?"

"Yes, the bucket that transports the daily grease drippings from under the grill to the grease trap out back."

"Oh, so it's not the nickname of some guy you're gonna murder."

"What?" 

"Never mind. It's the drugs talking." 

"Fine. I'm going out back now, so don't do anything stupid."

"I never do." 

Luke grabbed the trash bag in one hand and the grease bucket in the other. When he was out of earshot, he mumbled, "You almost married Max." He dumped the trash and grease, then went back in the diner, only to find her sleeping with her head on her arms.

He quickly went upstairs and changed his shirts, and remembered to grab his toothbrush. Lorelai was still sleeping when he returned, so for the third time that day he picked her up and carried her out of the diner. She woke up when he put her in the truck.

"Hey, how'd I get here?" she groggily asked.

"Magic," Luke replied, then closed the door and locked up the diner. 

He got in his truck and started the engine. "Such a nice night," Lorelai commented, her voice dreamy. "Can we walk?"

"I can. You can't. Thus, truck."

"Okay," she conceded, and scooted over on the seat. She rested her head on his shoulder and fell back asleep. Luke thought it might be a good idea to write the makers of Percocet a thank you letter.

The drive to her house took only three minutes, even though Luke tried to make it last by driving at twenty-five miles an hour. She looked so peaceful that he picked her up and carried her to the door instead of waking her. If he wasn't careful, it could turn into a habit. 

When he reached the door, he realized he didn't have a key, and he'd personally ensured that the locks on the doors couldn't be easily picked. "Lorelai?"

"Hmm?" She kept her eyes closed, but wrapped her good arm around his neck.

"The key?" he inquired.

"Hmm?" God, now her fingers were sliding up his neck and playing with the hair sticking out from his hat. His arms got shaky. Did she want him to drop her?

"Stop it. Where's your house key?"

"Purse." 

Luke didn't have her purse, and she didn't have her purse, so he surmised it was back at the diner. Great. "Do you have a spare key?"

"In the turtle. Not the frog." She used the hand on the back of his neck as leverage to pull herself up, and ran her tongue along his collarbone, up his throat, and to his ear. She gave his lobe a quick nibble and whispered, "Ribbit."

"Jesus, Lorelai," Luke groaned, and quickly set her down before he did drop her. He propped her against the door, and she wrapped her arms around his waist. He wanted to kiss her so badly, and knew that the only thing stopping him this time was the inappropriateness of the situation. 

He did hold onto her longer than necessary, however, after making sure she could stand on her own. "Stay," he ordered, then quickly found the ceramic turtle and pulled out the spare key. Lorelai's body was blocking the lock when he returned. He hooked an arm around her waist and pulled her off the door. Her body pressed against his. With trembling hands and extreme concentration he managed to stick the key in the lock and open the door. 

*                                              *                                              *

Luke had spent the night in sheets that smelled like Lorelai, which meant he'd hardly gotten any sleep at all. In retrospect, sleeping on the couch would have been more comfortable. He did manage to catch a few hours, until Lorelai's clock blared pig noises at five-thirty, waking him from a particularly nice dream featuring the owner of the bed he was sleeping in. He was already beginning to forget the details, but the most important detail, the utter lack of clothing, was still with him. 

With a groan, he summoned the energy to get up and pushed the thoughts of Naked Lorelai to the back of his mind. He still had to get back to his place, take a shower, open the diner, and make sure Jess went to school; all of which left him no time to daydream. With great resolve, he got up from the warm bed and found the bathroom.

He gave up on finding breakfast in Lorelai's kitchen and decided to eat when he got to the diner. He knocked on the door to Rory's room apprehensively, knowing Lorelai wouldn't want to be woken up at this hour. The question of whether or not she would remember the licking incident last night had yet to be answered. It might be a little awkward if she did.

"Lorelai?" He opened the door slowly and stuck his head in. She was sleeping, curled into a little ball under the covers. "Lorelai?" he tried again. He went over to the bed and shook her. 

"Go away, Rory," she mumbled. Luke realized that was the first time, and most likely last, he'd been mistaken for a sixteen year old girl. 

"Come on, Lorelai, wake up. You can go back to sleep in a few minutes." Lorelai responded by sticking her head under the pillows.

Luke grabbed the pillow and pulled it away from her, then yanked the covers off. She was still wearing her clothes from last night, since she'd been too tired and out of it to change and Luke sure as hell wasn't going to do it for her. She moaned loudly at the loss of the blankets and groggily sat up. 

"What are you doing here?"

"Making sure you don't stick forks in the toaster, remember?"

"Why would I do that?"

"Because you were heavily medicated."

"Oh. Right. I thought that was all some kind of dream."

"I have to go open the diner. Taylor's probably there already, planning his speech on opening businesses on time at the next town meeting."

"Just throw French fries at him."

"You gonna be okay here? I'll call Sookie to check on you later."

"I think I can manage."

"Does the arm hurt?"

"Not too much."

"And the head?"

"About the same as the arm."

He remembered what Dr. Cox had said about head trauma. "Is your sight blurry?" He waved his hand in front of her face. "Can you follow my hand? Are you dizzy?"

"I will be if you don't get your hand out of my face."

Luke concluded that she was fine. "Do you uh, remember what happened last night? On the porch?"

Lorelai thought back and frowned. "I remember being in your truck. That's the last thing."

Luke didn't know to be disappointed or relived. "Okay."

"Why, what happened at the porch? Did I pull a drunken, slutty sorority girl move on you?

"No! Uh, no," he answered slightly more calmly. "We just discovered that the porch rail was loose. Again. So uh, I said I'd come by and fix it. For you. Later."

"Thanks. The house has been falling apart since we got in that fight. And I ran out of water in the cooler."

"I'll change it when I fix the porch. Call me if you need anything."

"Anything?" There was a mischievous glint in her otherwise sleepy eyes. 

He handed her the pillow, then threw the covers back over her. "Almost anything. Use common sense."

"I don't have common sense. I have special, unique sense."

"It's way too early for this. Sleep. I'll be back to check on you around lunchtime."

"Goodnight," Lorelai said, and fell right back asleep. Luke wondered how she did it. He left the house, and on the way to his truck, gave the railing a solid kick.

*                                                          *                                                          *

Lorelai was woken again at a slightly more decent hour when the phone rang. 

"Hey, it's me. How're you doing?" Luke asked when she answered. Lorelai liked all the attention his guilt was bringing.

"Fine. How you doing?" she said, imitating Joey on Friends.

"You hitting on me?"

"Maybe. Depends on what you're wearing."

"Flannel."

"Then no." She sat up and groaned.

"What?"

"I just woke up, and my arm is itchy, and I can't scratch it because of the stupid cast. And now it's going to bother me all day until I get so crazy I start to gnaw it off."

"Try to resist the temptation. I called Sookie and she's on her way over there now, so you can at least be distracted by food."

"My day is suddenly brighter." There was a knock at her door. "Ooh, looks like Sookie's here already. Food now. Talk later."

"Bye," Luke said, and hung up. 

Lorelai went to the door, but it turned out to be Babette, not Sookie. "Hey, what brings you by?"

"You can't expect Luke's truck to stay outside your house all night and not have inquiries made, doll," Babette explained. 

Lorelai rolled her eyes. "It was doctor's orders."

"A prescription of hot loving?" Babette winked.

"Ugh, not like that. We slept in different rooms; go back home and call Patty with the disappointing news."

"So you're disappointed that you slept in different rooms," Babette manipulated Lorelai's words with the skill of someone who only heard what they wanted to hear. 

"Yes. I'm completely heartbroken; I'm going to go cry my eyes out now and eat lots of ice cream."

Babette wished her well and went back to her own house. Lorelai closed the door and realized she still had an important phone call to make, one that putting off until later would only make worse. With a resigned sigh, she picked up the phone and dialed. Emily answered.

Lorelai decided to dive right into it. "Hey, Mom, guess what?"

"Lorelai, I do not have the time these little games of yours require. Just tell me."

"I broke my arm!"

"You say that like it's a good thing."

"It is. Well, no it's not, but it's a good thing that I'm calling you right away to tell you I broke it."

"I suppose."

"Oh, admit it, you're happy I called."

"Lorelai."

"Come on say it, I know you're dying to."

"Lorelai."

"Say it, Mom. Say, 'I'm glad you broke your arm, Lorelai, and remembered to tell us about it.'"

"You're very peculiar, you know that?"

"That was Mike Wallace's headline way back in '82, Mom."

"I hope you're still coming to dinner on Friday."

"Wouldn't miss it for all the opium in China. Hey, you wouldn't by any chance happen to have all the opium in China, would you? Cause my arm hurts."

"Were you planning on telling me how you broke it, or am I supposed to guess this as well?"

"I was going to tell you, but now I'm intrigued as to what your guesses would be."

"Knowing you, it probably involved some sort of bull-riding contest, or another equally ridiculous situation."

"When have I _ever ridden a bull?"_

"You do own cowboy boots."

"Madonna owns cowboy boots. It was fashionable at the time."

"Are you going to tell me how it happened, or not?"

"Oh. Uh, long story short, I fell down my porch stairs."

"I'd like to know the long part, too."

"It's not like there's gonna be a test on this, Mom." Lorelai did not want to get into the Luke-specifics of the event. It was bad enough Emily already thought they had some sort of clandestine relationship.

"When my daughter tells me she's fallen down a flight of stairs, I would like to know the circumstances leading up to the event."

"It wasn't a flight, there's only three."

"How, Lorelai?"

Lorelai grudgingly explained it.

There was a pause after she'd finished, then Emily said, "Well, I was right, it was some ridiculous situation." Lorelai waited for the questions, and wasn't disappointed. "Luke the Diner Man left you a new coffeemaker. Was it some sort of engagement token? Lord knows you wouldn't tell me until three days before the wedding. Most girls get rings but for you, a coffeemaker seems appropriate."

"No, Mom, Luke and I are just friends. A friend who happened to break my old coffeemaker."

Emily felt inspiration strike. "I have a wonderful idea, Lorelai."

"Oh, no. You have that tone in your voice."

"I feel like I should know this man better, after all, he spends so much time around my girls."

Lorelai ignored Emily and kept right on talking. "That eureka tone, which indicates you think that the idea you just thought of is right up there with the other Great Ideas in History, like when Martin Luther had the inspiration to do a little hammering."

"I know you insist he's just a friend, but you can bring a friend, especially since Rory's not here. We do enjoy company."

"Or when Gandhi decided, 'Hey, you know, I'm not really that hungry.'"

"What? Why are you talking about Gandhi?"

"Um, because he's coming to dinner?"

"Luke is."

"No, Gandhi."

"You're confusing me, Lorelai."

"Welcome to my world." Lorelai sighed. There was no way in heaven, hell, or any other theoretical plane of existence that she was bringing Luke to Friday night dinner. "He only eats healthy food."

"I'm sure Chef can accommodate him."

Lorelai tried another angle. "Mom, he runs a diner. Friday night is a busy night, he can't just toss it off to come to Hartford."

"Oh, I'm sure he can take a night off to meet his future in-laws."

"Luke and I are NOT getting married."

"I'll wager you anything of your choosing that by the time Rory graduates from high school, you two will be engaged or married."

"You are completely whacked out of your gourd. Not to mention obsessed. And you seem to have a gambling problem."

"I notice you aren't accepting that bet. Afraid you'll lose?"

"I'm not taking the bet and I'm not taking Luke to dinner."

"Lorelai," Emily began, and Lorelai knew that her mother had a card hidden up her expensive sleeve. 

"Yes?"

"Answer me this. How do you expect to drive to Hartford with one arm and on pain killers? You would be endangering your life and I refuse to allow you to do it."

There was a knock on the door, and this time it proved to be Sookie. Lorelai gestured for her to come in.

"Fine," Lorelai huffed, "I'll ask him. But he'll say no, I can tell you that already."

Emily smirked. "Care to bet on that?" 

"No. I'm calling Gambler's Anonymous on my cell phone as we speak." Lorelai pointed to the phone and mouthed 'Emily.' Sookie nodded, then pointed to the kitchen and mouthed, 'food.' Lorelai gave her an excited thumbs up, then returned to the very disturbing conversation she was having with her mother.

"I don't see what the big deal is, Lorelai. Your father has some business thing to do, which means it's just you and I if no one comes with you."

Lorelai gulped. "Sounds cozy," she managed to get out.

"Yes, doesn't it?" Emily responded with the saccharine patronizing of someone who knew they had victory in sight. "Of course," Emily continued, "if it _will be just you, then you can't possibly drive out here alone, high and with only one good arm. But I can always drive down there. Oh, here's an idea, we could go eat at Luke's place. You and Rory are always raving about it."_

"Or I could O.D. on my pain pills and none of this would have to happen," Lorelai cheerfully commented. That option was starting to look pretty good. 

"Just ask him, Lorelai. There's no harm in asking."

"Ugh. Fine. Bye, Mom."

Lorelai walked into the kitchen and dejectedly sat at the table.

"Sookie, the word 'smug' is not even remotely adequate to describe her."

"So let's make a new word! I love making new words." Sookie's excitement showed through in her frenzied egg-beating.

"Hey, watch the omelet."

"Sorry, honey." Sookie finished beating the eggs at a normal rate. 

"I can't believe she wants Luke to come to dinner. Do you think maybe she's on some kind of medication? When did she start jonesing on Luke?"

"Jealous?"

"Please." 

"She does have a point though. You shouldn't be driving on medication, it's dangerous. What if a deer jumps out into the road and you can't swerve in time and BAM! Bye, bye Bambi!"

 "I have an idea! Why don't _you come with me Friday? That way you can drive and I don't have to be subjected to whatever crazy scheme Emily's cooked up."_

"I would, sweetie, but unless Emily's planning on hosting Jackson's birthday dinner, I can't."

"Damn that man for being born! Couldn't he have stayed in the womb just one extra day? And hey, birthday party that I haven't been invited to? What's that?"

"Birthday _dinner, as in a meal cooked for two people, consisting of Jackson and myself, because Jackson flat out refuses to have a party."_

"Who doesn't love a party? Can we throw him one on Saturday, so we can have a party?"

"But July 4th is in two days, that's not a big enough birthday party for you?"

"Wow. I completely forgot. Fireworks and apple pie, I'm excited already." Sookie put Lorelai's omelet in front of her. "Ooh! I'm even more excited."

Sookie sat across the table from Lorelai and rested her chin in her hands. "So, tell me, what's the situation on the Luke front?"

"All quiet."

"No! You're chickening out?"

"I'm not chickening out, chickens aren't quiet, duh, everyone knows that." Lorelai stuffed more of the omelet in her mouth so she wouldn't have to answer another question.

"Come on! All the T.V. shows are on reruns, I've got to find entertainment somewhere."

"Maybe that's why she wants me to bring Luke to dinner. Diagnosis Murder is all repeats, and it's just no fun when you already know who the killer is."

"I don't think Diagnosis Murder is still on." Sookie switched the subject. "So does Luke snore?"

"I don't know, Sookie, he wasn't within earshot."

"But he said he slept in your bed."

"And I slept in Rory's."

Sookie frowned. "That story just got a lot less interesting."

"Hey let's pick a more interesting story, then. Like, oh….how'd Michel take the news of my injury? Did he have fun with the Swedish businessmen all by himself?"

"Oh, it was quite the amusing medley of accents."

"Were any of the Swedish businessmen also chefs?"

"Sadly, no."

"Well then I'm not sad I missed it. Although I'll bet Michel cursing me was probably entertaining."

"Oh, it was."

"Did it go something like this?" Lorelai cleared her throat and did her Michel impersonation. "'Damn that crazy woman. You would think she'd have learned the proper way to walk by now. But no, it is just one catastrophe after another. She should do both of us a favor and stand in front of a bus and get it over with.'"

"Wow, it's like I'm there all over again." Sookie picked up Lorelai's dirty dish and headed to the sink. The one good thing about breaking an arm was that other people did the things you hated to do for you.

"I can't believe I forgot about July 4th. It's gonna be so weird without Rory there. Who will I make jokes about Taylor to?"

"Oh, here's a thought….LUKE?" 

Lorelai shook her head. "Sookie, I can't ruin it now. You should have seen us last night, getting along and having fun, and he actually shared _pie with me, Sookie. Pie! That's like me eating tofu."_

"But it's perfect timing. You can share a blanket and lie back and watch the fireworks, and make some fireworks of your own." Sookie did a little hip shaking, just in case Lorelai wasn't quite getting the meaning.

But of course, she did get it. "I just don't think now is the right time."

"Fine. But when he finds some health-food conscious, green-tea drinking, eco-friendly woman at a Greenpeace meeting and they get married, don't say I didn't warn you."

"Luke doesn't meet anybody, he never leaves the diner." But Lorelai couldn't shake the uneasy feeling Sookie's comment had created. If she was honest with herself, she'd been jealous of both Rachel and Ava, the Chilton Booster Club woman, and that had been before she even realized she liked Luke. How much worse would it feel if what Sookie said did happen?

Lorelai tried to push the thought from her mind. "He's not even in Greenpeace," she mumbled. "I think."

-end ch. 9-

Hey hey hey! (I've got Fat Albert on the brain.) Reviews are always good, b/c they help me figure out what you like and what you don't like. I, for instance, like cheese. But I don't like oranges. All that pulp, blech. Hey, give me a break it's 5 am.

(Another note: sorry I haven't been as prolific as before. I've started on a Wolverine fic and it's diverted my attention. Bad Wolverine! Bad! He's gonna get such a spanking!)


	10. Chapter 10

Recap: Luke's minding Lorelai cause he inadvertently aided in the breaking of her arm. Yep, that's pretty much all the plot in that one sentence. Sad isn't it? G

*                                  *                                  *

Chapter Ten

*                                  *                                  *

"Hi, honey, you're home!" Lorelai sarcastically greeted when Luke walked through the front door. She sat up on the couch and muted the T.V.

"What? I knocked."

"Apparently not very loudly."

"I brought you lunch. And coffee."

"Totally forgiven for breaking and entering."

"There was no breaking, just entering."

"That is for the courts to decide." She got up. "Whatcha bring me?"

"Baked tofu in a seaweed wrap."

"Wow. Do you actually _want to see me vomit?"_

"Might make the tofu taste better."

Lorelai took the coffee and opened the bag. "Mmm…french fries." She looked in it, then pouted. "No toy?"

"I'll be fixing the porch rail."

"I'll be eating the food."

He departed and Lorelai frowned when she opened the sandwich wrapper. "Bleh. Turkey burger." She ate it anyhow. When Luke returned from fixing the porch rail she was finishing off the last of her meal. He went over to the water cooler without a word and switched the empty bottle for a full one. 

Lorelai tried to ignore the feelings evoked by the manly show of strength. She finished her last mouthful and took a deep swig of coffee to wash down the only somewhat-awful turkey burger. "Hey, you said you'd do anything, right?"

"No. I said almost anything. There's a very important difference."

"Will you tie a plastic bag around my cast? I don't think Eau de Funk is going to be a Calvin Klein endorsed fragrance anytime soon, so a shower might be nice. I tried to do it myself, only since I only had one hand, I was using my teeth to pull the ends shut, but then I almost suffocated on the plastic…"

"I get it, you're pathetic. So yes, I'll help you." 

Lorelai picked the plastic bag up from the coffee table and held it out for him. He tied it over her cast. "Thank you," she said, sincerity rich in her voice.

"It's just a bag," Luke mumbled, embarrassed.

"No, for everything. You didn't have to stay with me, or take me home from the hospital. I appreciate it." She put her arms around his neck and hugged him. He awkwardly patted her back. 

When she pulled away, he smiled. "You weren't kidding with that Eau de Funk thing."

"Oh, go to hell," she teased.

"Right back at you."

*                                  *                                              *  

The phone rang in the afternoon, and Lorelai yelled, "Jacques, will you get that?"

It rang again. "Jacques!"

It rang for the third time, and she mumbled, "Oh that's right, I don't have a butler." She got off the couch and marched over to the phone. 

"Hello?"

"Lorelai!"

"Lane?"

"Yes. My mother went to the post office so I have about ten minutes to talk."

"You want Rory's number?"

"Oh, no, I have that, not that I can really call her or anything. I got a B+ in Trigonometry and a B in A.P. European History in the final semester so my mother has confined me to my room until I become an expert on both subjects."

"And on your summer vacation? Major suckage."

"Yes, and I'm not allowed such frivolities as entertainment. And as you are most likely aware, the Powerpuff Girls movie opens tomorrow."

"I forgot! I am so out of it."

"So I was wondering if maybe we could go see it. I have a whole plan worked out." She proceeded to tell Lorelai the plan.

"Wow, that is some intricate work you've come up with."

"It's amazing, the results you get with desperation," Lane explained. 

"Oh, I don't know, sweetie, this would be lying to your mother. And she already doesn't like me, and if you get caught you and Rory will probably never get to hang out."

"Lorelai, please, I'm begging you! She's keeping me prisoner."

"I actually thought she'd sent you to Korea again."

"My point exactly! If I don't get out, I'm going to be completely insane, and you don't want to be on Hardcopy after I go on my mad crazy killing spree, do you?"

Desperation shone through in Lane's voice, and Lorelai felt her resolve weaken. "Maybe…"

"Please, Lorelai? We're not breaking any laws, you're just taking me to see a PG rated movie."

"I'm not really supposed to drive, though; my arm's in a cast and I've cut down on the dope a little bit since it's not hurting as much but it's still not recommended."

"I can drive!"

"You can? Your mother let you get a license?"

"Yes. She doesn't actually let me drive, but she thought I should have it in case of emergencies."

"Emergencies like seeing a movie."

"See, you understand me. If you don't say yes, I'll be forced to take a much more dangerous and far more elaborate course of action, and if something happens to me, you'll have to live with the guilt."

"That's blackmail."

"I'm desperate."

Lorelai felt bad for her. "Fine," she said, giving in. "But this is the absolute last time something like this will ever happen. And only because I want to see the movie. And because I need to get out of this house at some point before I pull a Motley-Crue-in-hotel-room number."

"Thank you! I love you! I'll write songs about you! Oh, gotta go, she's back."

Lorelai just stared at the receiver and wondered what she'd gotten herself into.

*                                                                      *                                                          *

The phone rang a little after seven and Luke answered. 

"Hello, does this be Luke's?" Lorelai said in an Irish accent.

"That's what I said," Luke answered back. Wow, does he know how to work the customers, Lorelai thought.

"I was wonderin' if ye might try some of me Lucky Charms. They're magically delicious!"

"Lorelai."

"Shucks, busted. So what's up?"

"You're the one who called. You should have the information."

"I have the boredom. What's up?"

"Actually, something was left here for you by Kirk. But I don't think it's from him. It's an envelope that's labeled 'Instructions for Tomorrow.'"

"Sounds like Lane's handiwork. I swear that girl's gonna end up with a job at the CIA. Or maybe those Mission: Impossible people."

"You want me to give it to you after closing, or you wanna come here and get it?" Luke instantly regretted the words coming out of his mouth. 'You want me to give it to you?' He sounded like he was reading a porn script; it was dirty to his own ears, and if Patty had been there…well, he was just glad she wasn't.

"I just took another pill, so I don't think I'll be coming any time soon." Lorelai blushed, even though she hadn't intended any sort of sexual reference in response to Luke's unintentional sexual reference. "Over there. Coming over there." Oh god, she was practically having phone sex with Luke.

"Oh, yeah, that's uh, good that you won't be coming. Over here, because of the drugs." Luke didn't know if he could resist another night of Lorelai in that frame of mind.

Lorelai had lost the train of thought. Oh, right, Lane's note. "So you'll bring it by after closing?"

"Sure. Want me to bring food?"

"Uh-uh. I ordered Chinese, very tasty. But I wouldn't say no to some sort of brownie product."

"There're danishes for tomorrow. Danish day. I make them the night before then bake them in the morning. But I can bake a few tonight." He knew he was talking too much about danishes, but danishes were safe, non sexual things. Luke mentally applauded himself for keeping it clean.

"How Martha Stewart."

"You just lost your danish."

"How do I get it back?"

"There is the ever popular strip tease." What on earth was he doing? He had some kind of phone-foreplay disease. That was the only explanation.

"Kinda hard with just one arm. Would you settle for a lap dance?"

"The danish is all yours."

"Cheese danish?"

"Whatever you want."

"Cheese and strawberry?"

"Fine, but two's the limit."

"Now, is it one lap dance for both, or does each danish require a lap dance?"

"I don't know, let me ask Kirk. Hey, Kirk!" she heard him yell away from the mouthpiece.

"Agh! No! Don't ask Kirk! The last thing I need is for Kirk to be thinking of me giving a lap dance."

"He's not here, I'm just messing with you."

"Ooh, I like when you mess with me." Lorelai smacked herself on the forehead and ordered herself to stop. Luckily, she had a thought. Well, she had many of those, but this was a good one, not a dirty one. "Did you ever see Kirk's movie?"  
  


"Kirk made a movie?"

"Oh, did he ever. I've got two copies of it, just in case one breaks or gets eaten by hyenas."

"Must be good."

"Oh, no, it's bad. It's so very, very bad. It's so very, very bad that it's good."

"Sounds like someone I know."

Okay, with that comment and the lap dancing, she definitely was on the brink of having phone sex with Luke. "Just get your ass over here with my danishes and I'll let you see it."

"Let me see what?" The words were out of his mouth before he even realized he'd said them.

"Whatever it is you want to see." Stupid Luke with his stupid sexy voice, making her say things she knew she shouldn't be saying to him.

Luke didn't know how much more of this he could take. "I'll be there by ten thirty at the latest," he gruffly told her, then there was silence.

Lorelai hung up the phone. "There _is a loose chick in the house," she observed to herself, somewhat shocked by her own actions._

-end ch 10-

Sexual tension, come on down, you're the next contestant on the Price is Right!

In other words, there's some fun coming up.

As for The Substitute, I'm almost done with the next part. Whee! _And I finally got around to putting up my own little site. Whee again!_

Should you care to visit, it's http://www.geocities.com/ct_junkie/  Nothing fancy, nothing big, and not completely finished yet either. But I do feel productive.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: I sent the next chapter of The Substitute to my beta reader about a week ago, and I'm waiting on her to send it back. So it's like, her fault. ;)

*                                              *                                              *

Chapter Eleven

*                                              *                                              *

She had fallen asleep after talking with Luke, and it was slightly past ten when she woke up. After remembering their last conversation, she was in a nervous frenzy. What if he thought it had been some sort of booty call? Did _she think it had been an unintentional booty call?  She went to the bathroom to wash her face and caught her reflection in the mirror._

She was wearing her sweat pants and 'hot mama' glitter t-shirt, which wasn't the most flattering of outfits. Maybe she should change. On the other hand, why should she get all dressed up for Luke to come over and watch Kirk's movie? He'd be suspicious. Or expectatious. Did she want him to be expectatious? He knew the lap dance thing was only a joke, right? Had she been joking? Was expectatious even a word?

Lorelai finally settled on keeping the 'hot mama' t-shirt. It had been one of those trendy shirts she bought at a store for adolescent girls, so it was a little small, but she figured since the phrase applied to her literally, it was okay to wear it. She considered jeans, but that looked like she was dressed up. Finally she pulled on a pair of cut-off shorts that she'd had for so long, the ends had unraveled until they'd become inches too short to wear in public, and the waistband had lost the button so she'd cut that off as well. Still, they were better than the ratty sweatpants.

What underwear was she wearing? Not that Luke would need to see her underwear. Right? Well, it wasn't right to go around wearing old, ugly underwear; that was some kind of rule. She checked to make sure and found she was wearing dark blue cotton bikinis. Good choice; not ugly, but not presumptuous.

While looking down at her underwear, she caught sight of her toenails. She tried to think of the last time she'd painted them and couldn't even remember. She found a darker color and put it on over the heavily chipped lighter color, then kicked her feet in the air to dry them. 

Hair down or hair up? First things first, she should brush it. It frizzed, thanks to the humidity of summer, settling the question with 'up.'

She looked at herself in the mirror with her t-shirt and cut-offs and lack of makeup and high ponytail. She looked twelve years old! Why not just blast some N'Sync on the stereo? 

Unfortunately, she had no more time to change her mind because the doorbell rang.

"Hey," she greeted, opening the door all the way and letting him through. 

"How's the arm?" he automatically asked, and handed her Lane's letter.

"Not really hurting anymore; though you probably should take the remaining pills away from me, because they're pretty fun."

Luke thought of just how 'fun' Lorelai was with them and agreed. As they walked over to the couch, Lorelai saw that the message light was blinking. She'd taken a handful of naps throughout the day, so she must have missed a few calls. "There's beer in the fridge if you want any." She hit the play button as he walked away.

"Lorelai, this is your mother. You change one ridiculous greeting for an even more ridiculous greeting. Honestly, I don't know why I even bother…"  Lorelai grimaced and skipped to the next message.

"It is Michel. I was just sitting here, at the desk, all alone, wondering when you would be coming in so that I don't have to deal with every single brain dead idiot who calls or comes up to my desk. You can call back, but I will not answer the phone, as I most likely would have taken my own life by then." Lorelai grimaced again. Was a message from someone she actually liked too much to ask for?

"Hey, Mom, it's me. It's like, eight something." Lorelai grinned, her mood much better. She'd called Rory a few times, just in case she was back at the dorm early, but hadn't gotten through to her. "We had our presentation today, which is why I didn't get a chance to return your calls earlier. Paris was scary, but I think we did a great job. I was just calling to see how you were, and to see if anything was new with you and Lu…"

Lorelai smacked the stop button with record speed. She turned and saw Luke walking up behind her with a beer. Good, he probably hadn't heard any of it.

"That Rory?"

"Yeah. She says her presentation went well." Lorelai inwardly groaned. Why was she telling him this? He didn't even know Rory had a presentation; excessive elaboration was a sure clue that someone was lying or covering stuff up.

"Good for her. Maybe I'll send her some coffee."

Lorelai went over to the T.V. "I was actually thinking of driving down there if I can get a weekend without some sort of function going on at the inn."

"Are any of the other kids' parents visiting?" Luke asked, already knowing the answer.

"From what I can gather, no. But I'm not like other parents."

"I know."

"I'm sure Rory would love it."

"I'm sure she would."

"I don't want to let go," Lorelai admitted.

"I know. But you're not, she's coming back in a month."

"She's leaving me for good in a year." No, no, she was _not going to cry. It was weak and silly and it would freak Luke out._

Or maybe it wouldn't, she thought as she felt him hug her. He held her for a few minutes while she got a hold of herself; thankfully no actual tears had fallen, and she'd managed to avoid hysterical sobbing. "I'm okay," she told him, and wiped her watery eyes on his flannel before pulling away. "Didn't that freak you out?" 

"It did. I like it better when you yell." He looked down at her and saw that his flannel had been used as a Kleenex. "You know what would make you feel better?"

Lorelai smiled. "Kirk's video?"

"From what I hear." He took off his flannel and put it over a chair back.

"You hear quite correctly," Lorelai said, and put the video in the machine. They sat down on the couch, Lorelai curling up on one armrest, her feet a few inches away from Luke, who was doing the manly sprawl at the other end. As the black and white credits came on, she watched Luke for his reaction. She'd already seen the thing thirty times or so.

She watched the 'I cannot believe that I'm actually seeing what I'm seeing and I'm not on drugs, which might explain it' expression, the 'no, he wouldn't, oh wow, he did' expression, and the 'if I don't pee my pants by the end of this I will be amazed' expression cross his face as the movie played. 

She couldn't take her eyes off him, only glancing at the screen occasionally for the best parts. Every time he brought the beer bottle up to his lips she had a jealous twinge aimed at inanimate green glass. His arms, no longer hidden from the flannel, were particularly fascinating, and she spent a while contemplating them, since he so rarely showed them. 

Why he hid them, she couldn't figure out. His arms were so big, she could probably wrap both her hands around them and her fingers wouldn't even come close to touching; she fought the urge to reach over and test her theory. 

The movie ended and Lorelai quickly looked at the screen so Luke would think she'd been watching the whole time. When he didn't say anything, she turned back to him.

He was still staring at the screen, which had gone blank.

"Um, I know that Kirk's movie had a powerful impact on us all, but I think you're the first case of catatonia."

Luke shook his head in disbelief. "Wow. Just….wow."

"Ah, speechlessness. That was a common reaction; second only to near-asphyxiation from intense, prolonged laughing." Lorelai got up and ejected the tape. "So, shall I give you a copy?"

"You would have my undying gratitude."

Lorelai handed him the tape with a flourish. "Then I bequeath this copy to you."

"Thanks." He took it.

"You're welcome." She cleared her throat, and tapped her foot expectantly. Luke gave her a blank look. Lorelai rolled her eyes. "I believe you were supposed to bequeath me some danishes."

"I believe you were supposed to bequeath me a lap dance."

"I think we have should officially retire the word 'bequeath.'"

Luke nodded to the kitchen. "I put them in the oven to warm them up. Don't worry, I took out the shoes."

"I'll go make some coffee."

"There's a pot brewing already."

"You are so the man." Lorelai went into the kitchen, and pulled the now-warm danishes out of the oven, then poured herself some coffee.

When she came back into the living room, Luke asked, "Does he have a name yet?"

"Who?"

"The coffee machine."

"Harry Jr."

"I should have figured."

"She sat on the couch, a little closer to him than before. "Want some danish?" she asked with her mouth full, holding out a piece.

"Very attractive."

"Fine, no danish for you." She finished the cheese danish and licked her fingers clean. Luke almost offered to do that for her. 

"So, do you uh, want to watch a movie?" he asked, trying not to sound too hopeful. "Or I can leave, if you'd rather be alone."

"Who am I, Garbo? Put in a movie."

Luke headed over to the pile of videos. "You and Rory could start your own video store."

"Yeah, and then instead of a Rory curtain, there can be a Lorelai curtain where the _really naughty videos are."_

Luke tried not to think about that comment and looked through the videos. "I never saw 'When Harry Met Sally.' Any good, or is it all just hype?"

Lorelai was shocked. "It's great, we can watch it now…wait, what am I thinking, that movie sucks, forget it." There was no way she was watching that movie with Luke at this particular moment in time. That would be hitting _way to close to home._

She got up and joined him in the movie quest. "Willy Wonka?" she suggested. 

"No," Luke rejected.

"Why not?"

"Because the Oompa Loompas scare me, okay?" he gruffly admitted.

Lorelai laughed, then saw he was serious. She laughed harder. "What? How? They're the best part!"

"They just do. They're all orange, and singing, and…" he was getting worked up.

Lorelai patted his arm. "It'll be okay," she comforted. "Since you brought me danishes, I'll be nice and let you pick any movie you want. That way you can make sure to get something that won't scare you." She sat back on the couch. "Although, I'd recommend staying away from 'Labyrinth.'"

"Are there Oompa Loompas?"

"No, but David Bowie's wearing _really tight pants."_

Luke nodded. "Thanks for the warning." He continued his perusal of her collection, and she prayed he wouldn't pick something like 'Body Heat.' After a while, he joined her on the couch.

"So, what's your final answer?"

"Nothing. I couldn't pick."

"Out of the hundred movies we have, you couldn't pick one?"

"Well, most of them are really good, so I got overwhelmed and couldn't pick _just one. You go pick one."_

"Oh, no, I can't." It was too stressful trying to remember which movies had sex scenes in them, and which movies were too girly for Luke. "We can watch T.V. then."

Luke shrugged. "Sounds fine." Lorelai could suggest they watch grass grow, and he'd agree if it meant she'd sit next to him.

She reached over him, fumbling for the switch on the lamp to turn it off. It wasn't intentional, but her chest was eye level with Luke. He wondered if Lorelai was doing some sort of experiment to see how long it would take for her to torture him to death.

She flicked the switch and the room was bathed in nothing but the light from the television. Lorelai regretted the move; dim lighting and close proximity never led to anything chaste. Luke reached for the remote on the coffee table and began flipping through the channels. 

"Can I?" he asked, putting his feet up on the coffee table. 

"Do you even know me at all?" 

"Right. Stupid question." 

She put her feet over the arm rest and threw a pillow next to Luke's thigh. "As long as we're all getting comfortable," she explained, and lied back.

She watched as he flipped through the channels. "Ooh, Law and Order." 

He stopped. "You want to watch?" 

She shook her head. "No. I get frustrated at the end; either the criminal is a horrible person and you want them to rot in jail, but they avoid serious jail time on some stupid legal thing, or the criminal is sympathetic and it makes you feel bad when they lock them up."

He continued with the channel surfing; when he stopped Lorelai grunted.

"No baseball?" he asked.

"No baseball," Lorelai confirmed.

He continued surfing until Lorelai told him to stop. "What's this?" he asked.

"Oh, you'll like it. And it just started. Yay."

"What is it?"

"'10 Things I Hate About You.' It's modernized Shakespeare."

"So no tights?"

"None."

"Good. What play?"

"'The Taming of the Shrew,'" Lorelai told him. "It's full of Heath Ledger goodness."

"He's too young for you," Luke said, then smirked. "Oh wait, I forgot you like them young. How is Billy doing? Did he pass his drivers license test?"

"Oh, aren't you funny. Besides, he dated Heather Graham and she's my age."

"You know way too much about famous people."

"I know, it's a sickness. Now shut up and watch the movie."

"You were the one talking."

"Shush." She reached up and smacked his arm. Wow, his muscle was hard. Without even realizing it, she let her fingers trail down his bicep, her hand coming to rest on his forearm.

He shivered a little at the touch and looked over at her, but she was engrossed in the movie. She was lying on her back, with her cast arm resting on her stomach and the arm whose hand was touching him extended over her head. The short t-shirt she was wearing had ridden up a little, and there was substantial skin showing between the hem and the top of her frayed shorts. He could see the top of her panties peeking out past the waistband. And god, those shorts, Luke thought. They barely covered more than a pair of underwear would; her legs were dangling over the armrest, and he watched the play of her muscles as she idly swung them.

She laughed at a part of the movie, and he chuckled too, even though he hadn't seen it, just so she wouldn't know he'd been staring at her. She tilted her head back so she could see him. "See, I knew you'd like it."

He tried to hide the fact that he hadn't been looking at the screen by taking a deep swig of his beer. "Yeah, it's great." Maybe he should actually watch it, he thought. He turned his attention to the movie, and the next few times he laughed with Lorelai, they were sincere. The movie was kind of witty- though totally not something he'd be watching on his own.

Halfway through, Lorelai felt her eyelids beginning to droop and she rolled over, curling into a ball. Her arm was no longer comfortable in its position, so she moved it in front of her chest and slid her hand under the pillow for support.

Luke's leg happened to be under the pillow, and he tried not to jerk when her fingers grazed his thigh. With her hand no longer on his arm, he finally wasn't afraid to move it, and he extended it to get the feeling back. 

"Mmm," Lorelai murmured, and it was then he realized he'd moved his hand to her head, where he was stroking her hair. Since she wasn't complaining, he figured it wouldn't be a bad thing to keep doing it.

They sat that way for a few minutes, Lorelai practically purring with contentment and Luke trying not to think of all the other places he wanted to touch her. He wasn't sure if she was even awake, until she murmured, "Best part."

On the screen, Heath Ledger was singing 'Can't Take my Eyes Off You' in a public forum. Luke felt a twinge of sympathy for the guy. 

Lorelai was asleep before the song was finished. Luke, having worked for fifteen hours, soon followed.

*                                              *                                              *

-end ch. 11-

Okay, so I couldn't find a movie for them to watch and 10 Things I Hate About You was on t.v. while I was writing this. It was either that or "She's All That"…USA had a teen movie fest, also showing "Can't Hardly Wait" and I actually watched all 3 movies in a row (10 Things I Hate About You was aired twice in the same day), so I picked the best one from there. Heath goodness.


	12. Chapter 12

Again, I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed and everyone who's sent me emails. This particular chapter can be dedicated to Kate F. because her email convinced me to put up the next part. (Actually it was more like 'reminded' me because I'd forgotten that I'd finished it.)

*                                              *                                              *

Chapter 12

*                                              *                                              *

There was chirping, loud, horrible, obnoxious chirping. And a light, a bright, brain piercing light. These two elements were what woke Lorelai up from her dream. As she became more conscious, she identified the chirping as birds and the light as the morning sun, streaming through the living room window because she hadn't drawn the curtains. 

There was something hard underneath her. Had she fallen asleep on the floor? She supposed the best way to find out would be to open her eyes. 

Her eyes answered her question with a resounding no when they ascertained she'd fallen asleep not on the floor, but on a man. A man named Luke. Whose waist she had her good arm wrapped around, and whose chest her cast arm was currently resting on. She moved her legs slightly, since all she could see was his torso without sitting up. Just as she'd thought; her legs were twined with his.

Something was tickling the back of her thigh, right below her butt. If it was a rat or mouse or insect of some kind, she was going to freak out; except it felt more like a hand, now that she took the time to analyze it. Luke's hand. On her butt. Well, almost on her butt. 

She knew she should get up, and hopefully without waking him. Go upstairs and pretend like he'd fallen asleep on the couch all by himself. But that would mean leaving, and he smelled so good; too good to have just worked all day in a diner. He must have showered before he came over; suddenly her clothing and hair dilemma from last night didn't seem so silly.

Five more seconds, she told herself, then she'd get up. She had to leave; Luke would be far more embarrassed by this than she would 

As she slowly started to disentangle herself, Luke made a noise, a sleepy, deep-chested rumble. His hand tightened on her leg. Okay, so he likes me here, she thought. Maybe she should stay. 

No, her brain informed her. Lousy brain. She tried to sit up again, and heard him mumble, "Stay." The hand on her leg moved up to the curve of her hip, drawing little circular patterns against the bare skin exposed there. For the first time she noticed his other hand was in her hair.

She almost listened to him, but she had no idea what time it was, and he had to open the diner. She had to wake him up. 

"Luke," she said, forcefully but not loudly.

He grunted.

"Get up. You fell asleep."

"What?" Good, he was using words now. She propped herself up as best she could with her cast arm. Unfortunately, her good arm was still trapped under him. 

"Wake up." She tapped his leg with her foot. "You have to work."

Ah, work, the magic word. With his eyes still closed and his mind still not fully awake, he tried to sit up. He frowned; it felt like a big, heavy cat was sitting on him. Rachel once had a cat, and he would wake up with the damn thing sitting on his chest, looking at him. He opened his eyes, and saw that it wasn't a cat looking at him; it was Lorelai.

"Uh," he said. Had they slept the whole night this way?

"Hi," she said, not quite sure what to say.

"Hi," he said back. Seemed like a safe word.

"I think we fell asleep," she explained.

Luke realized she was sprawled on his chest and his hands were holding her to him. "Sorry," he apologized, his face turning red and his hands flying off her as if she had burned him.

"Although, we could have been kidnapped and drugged by aliens, and then they left us like this. Maybe we should call Mulder and Scully."

"What time is it?" Luke asked. 

"I don't know. I would have gotten up, but my arm is trapped."

"Sorry," he apologized again, and quickly sat up, freeing her arm. Except now she was just sitting on his lap. 

Get up, her brain yelled at her. She managed to follow its order, and scooted off him and onto the couch cushion. She looked at the clock, and winced when she saw how early it was. "Ugh. Six thirty-eight," she informed him. The diner was supposed to have opened thirty-eight minutes ago. "I think that clock is five minutes fast," she reassured him, quite lamely.

"Caesar's opening since he's got tomorrow off." He looked around and found his keys on the table by the door. "So, uh, thanks for the video. And the movie."

She nodded. "You're welcome. Thanks for the danish."

"There're more at the diner." He fidgeted with his cap. "You coming in later?"

Lorelai decided the best way to dispel awkwardness was to settle back into routine. "Sure."

"Good." He stepped out the door. "Bye," he said, and closed it behind him.

Lorelai stretched out on the couch. The stairs were just too much work for this time of day. She tried to go back to sleep, but without Luke's body warmth she was cold. She reached for the blanket before remembering it wasn't there, since she'd washed it yesterday and it was on the line drying. The flannel Luke had taken off was only a few feet away. She reached over and put it on, the hem falling to her knees. It would definitely do.

She lay back down and closed her eyes, and slept for another two hours, until a knock at the door woke her. She groggily made her way there, cursing when she stubbed her toe against the floorboard. Babette was standing on the porch when she opened the door.

"Morey was on the porch listening to the birds sing, like he enjoys doing sometimes, and he said Luke's truck was parked outside, and he saw Luke leave a little before seven," Babette said.

"Some people prefer the phrase 'hi' as a greeting. It's much shorter," Lorelai responded.

"Oh, hi, doll. So when I wake up, he tells me this, and I think, two days in a row? This can't be coincidence. So I come over here to ask you and you open the door wearing nothing but Luke's shirt!"

"What?" Lorelai looked down. It did look like she had nothing on under it. "No, Babette, I have clothes on under here, see?" She opened the shirt and showed Babette her shorts and t-shirt. Then she narrowed her eyes. "You didn't call Patty, did you?"

Babette raised her hands. "What was I supposed to do, keep it to myself? I was practically bursting. I mean, we've all been waiting so long…"

"So long for nothing to happen?" she supplied.

"Oh, come on, you can't expect me to believe that two nights in a row! You're both young, healthy kids who've got the hots for each other."  
  


"Babette, go home and call Patty and tell her nothing happened."

"Oh, I can't, she's already out of her house."

"Spreading the 'news,' no doubt." 

Babette gave her a quick hug. "I'm so happy for you, sugar!" she exclaimed, before heading back to her house. Lorelai stood there in the open doorway, slightly stunned. Her stomach rumbled, bringing her out of her trance. It was definitely time for some coffee.

*                                              *                                              *

Luke looked at the door like he always did when someone walked through. This time the little nugget of hope that always accompanied the gesture was rewarded.

Don't act weird, he told himself as she walked in. "Let me guess. Eggs, sunny side up, and make sure I let them cook in the bacon grease, two pieces of bacon, two pieces of sausage- the link kind not the patty kind- and a blueberry muffin?"

Lorelai grinned and slid into a counter seat, relieved that he seemed to be acting normal. "Delicious, but wrong."

"You're kidding."

"I just stopped in to get some coffee before busting Lane out of Kim's Antiques and Jail. I already ate at home, believe it or not."

"I'd have to go with not."

"Part of my 'eating healthy' phase. Even though I still think you made that note up. I had cereal, all full of wholesome grainy goodness."

"Still going with not."

"Fine, it had wholesome marshmallow goodness."

"Irish leprechaun, or chocolate-loving count on the box?"

"Count. And what other kind of leprechaun would there be? Have you ever heard of a Chinese leprechaun? A Nairobian leprechaun?"

"If you're trying to distract me from the fact that you ate little bits of chocolate puffs with marshmallows for breakfast and are trying to pass it off as healthy, it's not working."

Lorelai pouted. "Can't blame a girl for trying."

Luke sighed. "You want those eggs?" He knew her too well. 

"What happened to the bacon and sausage?"

"They heard stories from their friend, Mr. Hamburger, and ran for their lives." She glared at him. "You can't have both. Pick one."

"Gimme my sausage!"  
  


"Oh, I'll give you your sausage. I'll give it to you good." There was an awkward pause as Luke realized that his words had a totally different meaning than he intended.  "I'll just go get the, um…from the kitchen. So you can…yeah." Luke high-tailed it back to the kitchen, his cheeks burning. 

Lorelai also blushed. Their sexual Freudian slips were only getting more frequent.

In the kitchen, Luke pulled a box out of the fridge, and Caesar raised an eyebrow. "It won't work."

"Just cook them in the sausage and bacon grease and she'll never know." Luke handed him a couple of 'meatless breakfast links.' 

Caesar still looked skeptical, but threw the veggie sausages onto the grill anyhow. Luke ran some plates to other customers before walking back over to Lorelai.

"People are going to be jealous of all this attention I receive."

"Let 'em."

Seeing how everyone else seemed to already have plans for dinner on Friday, Lorelai grit her teeth and started what she'd come to do. "So, how guilty are you feeling?"

Luke saw through her small talk. "What do you need?"

"My mother doesn't want me to drive to dinner alone on Friday…"

"Smart lady."

"I'll pretend you never said that. So she told me to invite you. Then she threatened to drive down to Stars Hollow and have dinner here if I didn't deliver you as promised."

"Scary."

"Yeah. I watched The Shining and discovered it was a comedy after that little ultimatum."

"She asked for me specifically?"

"Yes, she even said, 'Luke the Diner Man' just in case I confused one Luke with another and brought her Luke Skywalker."

Luke shrugged. "I'll go."

"What? God must have smote Stars Hollow with the same gobbledy-gook affliction he put on the Babylonians when they built that tower thingy, because I _know I didn't hear you right."_

Luke repeated, more slowly, "I'll go."

"Yep. God's angry hand has been here. I'm still not hearing right, it's all babbling to me. That in fact, is where the word babbling came from, the Babylonians." She wagged a finger. "I told Taylor that steeple was too high."

"Now _I have no idea what you're talking about."_

"Sorry. Biblical references never seem to work. Rory had this book one time, on interesting stories behind word origins," she caught the look on Luke's face, "and I'm guessing this story is not as interesting as the book." Luke nodded. Lorelai got serious. "Luke, think about this. Think about what you're putting yourself through. This is my _mother. This is __my mother. Satan looks like a fun golf partner next to her."_

"I know. I've met her. And I still say I'll go; Jess and Caesar can handle it for a few hours."

"Oh no, no, no, this is all wrong. You're supposed to say, 'Are you nuts, lady? I can't leave the diner on a Friday night.'"

"But then your mother will come here."

"No, she won't, because if you said no I had a back-up plan."

"Giving a bum ten bucks and a change of clothes to go with you?"

"Yes." Lorelai crossed her arms. "Are my plans _that unoriginal?"_

"No, they're great. Totally Disney material."

"You hate Disney."

"Exactly. So don't get me started."

"But you started."

"Coffee?" Luke asked, because he knew it would end the thread.

"So you really can leave this place on Friday night? Won't it be bad for business? I know Jess is smart, but he's not John Q. Loves-the-Public."

Luke shrugged. "It's only a few hours. It's not like they're here to see me anyhow. Not anymore."

"They?"

"The high school girls who outnumber the other customers two to one on Friday nights."

Lorelai pouted. "Aww, did Jess usurp your position as Town Hottie?"

Luke looked slightly uncomfortable. "I wouldn't say 'usurp.' More like, inherited by default."

Lorelai nodded. "Someone got old."

"Hey, I didn't get old. They just got young."

"Well I for one am glad I don't have to call you Humbert." 

"So when's Rory coming back?" Luke asked with a malicious smile.

"Don't even joke like that, Humbert, or Humbert Jr. will be the next special. I'll even change the board, put in a little drawing…"

Luke interrupted her. "Little?" 

Lorelai gave him an apologetic smile. "Artist's interpretation."

Luke decided to switch the subject . "Do I have to brush up on the Romanovs, or just Russian history in general?"

"Huh?"

"Last time I saw her, your mother asked me what I thought of the Romanovs."

Lorelai flushed when she remembered why her mother asked him that. "No, that was just her being weird and thinking she was omnipotent. You will have to lose the flannel, though. And the hat."

"I'll just pretend like I'm going to the bank for a meeting."

"Yeah, sounds like oodles of fun, doesn't it?"

Luke refilled her coffee. "Town Hottie, huh?"

-end ch. 12-

He's still Town Hottie in my book. And Morningstar Farm's Veggie Sausages rock my world.  


	13. Chapter 13

*                                              *                                              *

Chapter 13

Lorelai finished her breakfast- brunch if she was honest- and headed over to Kim's Antiques. She reread Lane's extra-detailed plan on her walk. When she reached Lane's house, at precisely fifteen minutes to ten, she put a white Kleenex next to the tree outside, and weighed it down with a small rock. Then she scurried across the street and hid behind a bush, waiting for Lane to see the sign.

After a few minutes, the window to Lane's room opened and Lane waved at the bush, the signal to proceed as planned. Lorelai saw the cue, pulled out her cell phone, and dialed a number.

"Kim's Antiques," Mrs. Kim answered in her brusque manner.

Lorelai switched into her role as Bible Study Counselor, disguising her voice as best she could without sounding completely obvious. "Hello, Mrs. Kim, and God bless. Today is our field trip to the movie theater, we're taking the little ones to see a cartoon, very wholesome with a solid Christian background."

"What's your point?"

"One of our counselors has come up with the flu and we don't want to be short a chaperone. You know how much kids need to be kept in line."

"Of course."

"Well, Lane was such an excellent bible camp attendee I thought that she might be able to help us out today. Like a substitute counselor. Jesus would really appreciate it."

There was a pause as Mrs. Kim considered it. "I suppose."

"Wonderful."

"How long will she be gone for?"

"Oh, well first we have to get all the kids on the bus, and you know how kids are. Then we bus them to the movie theater, and then we watch the movie, so that's two hours right there, and then we're taking the kids to a nice, wholesome lunch. Oh, and when we get back we're going to have a discussion on Jesus, and God, and the Bible." That should give her and Lane enough time.

"What is the discussion on today? Lane can prepare."

Lorelai silently cursed. "Babylon and the Babylonians and their Tower of Babel and uh, how God got angry because they dared to become greater than He. So it's a lesson in humility, and humbleness. And shame, always with the shame."

"Shame is good. Lane can go."

Lorelai gave Lane a thumbs up. Lane disappeared from the window. 

"Bless your heart, Mrs. Kim." Lorelai waited for Lane to come out. A few minutes later, Lane left the house and walked down the street towards the bus stop. She sat on the bench, and pretended to wait. Lorelai looked at her watch, and at four minutes to the hour, went to her jeep, which was parked around the corner from the bench.

When the bus came by four minutes later, on schedule, she heard running footsteps, then the door opened and Lane shouted, "Go, go, go!"

Lorelai pulled away from the curb with her good arm and headed down the road. "Wow. We would be so good at pulling bank jobs. We'd be like Bonnie and uh- Bonnie. Without the lesbianism."

"I was thinking 'Sugar and Spice' myself."

"Oh, that's right, you're a cheerleader now." Lorelai giggled. "We could always get the rest of the squad into it." When they were out of sight from the Kim house completely, she parked. "Okay, Chinese fire drill time." 

Lane got out of the car, while Lorelai scooted over the shifter and into the passenger seat. Lane opened the driver's door and jumped in. "Actually it was more like a Korean-American fire drill." She frowned at her own comment. "Did I really say that? I apologize. My witty muscles haven't been flexed in so long." She pulled onto the road and headed out of town, the long way, so they wouldn't have to drive by her house.

Lorelai shrugged. "No problem. What kind of tunes do you want?"

"I heard a rumor that you keep Barry Manilow hidden under the seat."

Lorelai cursed. "Rory is in so much trouble."

Lane grinned. "Oh, Mandy, well you came and you gave without taking…." She sang.

"Young lady, I will turn this car around right now!"

"But you're not driving."

"I will use the power of my mind."

"Barry Manilow's kinda cool," Lane conceded. Lorelai popped the CD into the stereo. When they were safely out of Star's Hollow, Lane said, "Thank you so, so much, Lorelai. With Rory gone, I never get a chance to leave the house for the purposes of fun."

"Yeah, well, I'm not too happy lying to your mother. Though I compensate my guilty conscience by comparing this to Harriet Tubman and the Underground Railroad."

"The slave metaphor would not be an exaggeration."

"And we're not really lying, because you are going to see a movie. But this is the one and only time I'm doing this. Got it?"

Lane nodded. "Totally."

Lorelai eased back in the seat a little. "So, I was thinking, since the traffic's not bad we can go to Hartford and see it, and if you're a good girl, we can see it at the theater that's in the mall with the record store you like."

"Adopt me," Lane begged. 

"Too much paperwork."

*                                                                                  *                                                          *

Two hours later, they emerged from the movie theater with big grins on their faces. "Could Bubbles _be any cuter?" Lorelai rhetorically asked. _

"What about Buttercup? She's all tough and ass-kicky," Lane demonstrated with a few kicks and punches to the air. "But she's also cute too."

"Oh she rocks, there's no doubt about it."

"And what about Blossom, when she…uh…" Lane couldn't think of anything.

"That's okay. I don't think anyone likes her, really."

"Yeah," Lane conceded. "But Mojo was great!"

"When is he not?" Lorelai pointed. "Record store."

"This is the best day ever!" Lane jumped up and down.

"Oh my god, you need to get out more." Lorelai looked around the mall. "Okay, so I'll let you be with your music shopping and we can meet by that fountain in an hour. If you're on time, we'll get ice cream for the way home."

"You have the best plans."

"Try to convince Luke of that. He thinks mine are on par with Disney."

"Ew."

"Okay, so in this one hour that you will not be under my supervision, you must swear not to engage in illicit drug usage, get pregnant, or convert to whatever it is the Hare Krishnas believe in. And if you see John Travolta and Kirstie Alley, _run."_

"Got it. See you in an hour."

"By the fountain!" Lorelai reminded her as Lane went into the record store. Lorelai began strolling idly down the mall, keeping an eye out for something to get Jackson for his birthday, and failing miserably. What did you get for a guy who danced to his fruit? Her mood was getting progressively more dismal the farther she walked.

A large pink sign, however, perked her right up.

"Ooh, Semi-Annual Sale and Clearance," she practically drooled as she went into Victoria's Secret. Technically, something purchased for Sookie here would also count as a gift to Jackson.

An hour later, she and her four pink and white bags were waiting for Lane by the fountain. Lane ran up, one minute late, her bags making her running awkward and slightly comical. "Hey! Sorry, sorry! There was this really lame guy in front of me checking out who kept hitting on the sales girl and asking her stupid questions."

"You're lucky I even came back at all." Lorelai raised her four bags.

"Oh my god." 

"Yeah."

"Do you even need that much underwear?"

"Well, Kappa Kappa Kappa did that panty raid on our house, so yes." Lorelai reached into a bag and pulled out a smaller one. "Here. I got Rory a matching pair so you both can be part of my spiffy new catch phrase."

Lane looked inside. "Pink underwear with poodles?" 

"Oy with the poodles already." Lorelai said. Lane looked slightly confused. "Just ask Rory." 

Lane nodded and stuffed the tiny scrap of material in her back pocket and gave the evidence bag back to Lorelai. "I'll have to keep them away from the drawers of white cotton Hanes-her-ways in case the poodles get the urge to mate."

"Oh, no, all male poodles are gay, and the females are far too snooty for sex. No need to worry about that." They walked back to the exit, and Lane excitedly filled her in on all the cool CDs she'd gotten. They stopped at the ice cream store and got giant waffle cones. 

"Okay, Lane, let's try a little run through," Lorelai suggested between licks as they went to the car. "So, what movie did you see?"

"'The Prince of Egypt.'"

"Where did you see it?"

"The theater at the Hartford Oaks Mall."

"Why so far from bible camp?"

"On summer months they show previously released kids movies at a discount price in the morning and early afternoon."

"How was Bible discussion?"

"Excellent. We taught the children all about shame and humbleness and the wrath of an angry god."

"Which children did you chaperone, and how old were they?"

"I had the eight year olds: Shannon, Jeremy, Wallace, Matilda, and Sarah. Jeremy was a little rambunctious, but I told him Jesus didn't like noisy, disobedient children, and if he wasn't careful, he'd be throwing spit balls in Hell."

Lorelai finished her cone and threw the napkin she was holding it away before getting into the jeep.  "I think you'll do just fine," she assured Lane, feeling slightly less guilty.

"I hope so," Lane said, and started the car.

*                                                                                  *                                                          *

When they got back to Stars Hollow, they parked near Luke's. "You've got forty-three minutes before the bus comes back. You want something at Luke's?"

"Delicious red meat and deep-fat fried potatoes?" Lane hopefully suggested.

"Of course."

When they walked in, Luke looked up, and actually graced them with a smile. "Lane! I thought you were dead or something."

"Nope, just wrongfully imprisoned."

"You think your mom could take in Jess?"

"Oh, I think that's a potential sitcom situation right there."

"Rory's been gone two weeks and you've already replaced her?" Luke asked Lorelai.

Lorelai shrugged. "Not replaced, substituted."

"Oh, I feel loved now," Lane responded, sitting at a table. She looked up at Luke. "Burger with cheese, cheese fries, chocolate shake." When Luke's eyebrows arched, she explained, "My mother has banned cheese completely now, with the exception of soy-cheese, which is _not cheese. On that we both agree," she explained._

"And you?" he asked, nudging Lorelai's foot with his own. 

"Surprise me."

"Not even gonna try for that burger any more?"

"There's no point."

"Sure you don't want a danish?" Luke tried to hide his smirk behind his order pad and failed miserably.

"I'm already in enough danish debt already. I could pay you for it right now, though, if you'd like." She winked at him.

"So, surprise you. Got it." Luke avoided.

"Just don't surprise me with that sausage from this morning, it was weird."

Luke smiled to himself and walked away.

"Why do I get the feeling there's a whole other story to danishes?" Lorelai didn't say anything. "What, is danish like, a code word for sex?"

Lorelai gasped. "Shut yo mouth!"

Lane shrugged. "I'm just talking 'bout danishes."

After Lane had eaten and hurried out to pretend she was getting off the bus, Lorelai asked Luke for a coffee to go.

"Where to next?" he asked.

"The inn, I gotta give Jackson's present to Sookie."

"Present?"

  
"His birthday's on Friday."

"Ah. See you later?" he asked.

"Maybe," she responded coyly, and left the diner. She grabbed the bag with Jackson's gift in it from the jeep and walked to the inn. 

When she entered, Michel looked up from the desk. "Look who has decided to grace us with her presence."

"Aw, I missed you too."

"Why are you not working? I must answer the phones all by myself, this does not make me happy."

"Oh pull the panties out of your butt, I'll be in tomorrow."

"I do not wear panties and there is nothing up my butt, I assure you."

"Wow. New subject, please."

"How about a story about an inn manager who neglects her duties and does not pay her best employee enough to compensate for the extra burden he shoulders."

"How about I tell Sookie to make you those muffins you like and we'll call it even."

"I agree to your terms."

Lorelai headed over to the kitchen. "Hey, Sookie!" she greeted.

"Hi, honey! How was the movie?"

"Great, except for all the kids in the theater."

"Well, it _is a kids' movie."_

"Please, they didn't even get a third of the jokes. Oh, by the way, make some of those muffins Michel likes. Except throw in some butter."

Sookie frowned. "Then they wouldn't be fat-free….oh, I hear ya." She put a sauce pan on a back burner to simmer and faced Lorelai. "So what brings you here? You know you're supposed to take a few days off."

"I brought Jackson's birthday present."

"That's sweet, but you didn't have to get him anything. He's the hardest guy in the world to shop for."

"Which is precisely why I didn't get _him anything; I got something for you which in turn will be for him." Lorelai held up the Victoria's Secret bag._

"Ooh, let's see!" Sookie took the bag and pulled out the lingerie. She oohed and ahed over the satiny fabric and lace of the nightgown. "I don't know why they call these nightgowns, it's not like at the end of the night you're still wearing it when you fall asleep." She folded it back up and put it back in the bag. "I love it, Jackson will love it!" 

"I figured. I kind of wanted to wrap it up and give it to him, so I could see his face when he opened it, and then I could make a kilt-related comment, but then I remembered I wasn't going to be there and it's not worth it if I don't get to see it."

"That's okay, sweetie, I'll just wear it at dinner." 

"Just remember to shave your legs and take off the cold cream." There was a sizzle on the stove, and Lorelai turned to leave. "I'll let you get back to work."

Sookie saw a white piece of paper next to the bag. "Oh, wait, your receipt." She picked it up to give to Lorelai, and inadvertently saw the total. "Good lord!"

"Oh. Yeah. It was one expensive nightgown," Lorelai tried to cover.

"How much underwear did you buy?" Sookie's eyes bulged as she went over the receipt.

"Well, it was the semi-annual sale, and you know how I love discounts on over-priced lingerie. Makes me feel like I'm getting even with them for charging so much for so little fabric."

"This is not a 'stock up' spree, this is 'impress the new man' spree."

"No it's not."

"Yes it is! How often do you wear a bustier in your everyday life? Or a garter belt? And look at all these matching bra and panty sets. And new sleepwear. And a teddy! And perfume!" Sookie read down the list.

"You can't let a great deal pass you by!" Lorelai tried to snatch the receipt. Sookie pulled it back before she could. "And a midnight showing of 'Rocky Horror' is playing in Stamford and my old costume was getting ratty," she tried again to explain.

She asked one of the cooks to watch her sauce, and grabbed Lorelai's arm, dragging her out of the kitchen and into the currently unused dining room. "This is for Luke!" she accused.

"No. I don't know. Maybe."

"I thought you were chickening out. Or were you just telling me that?"

"I'm not lying, Sookie, you know I'd tell you if anything happened. But I really don't know what I want. We're getting along so well, and there's something there, I can feel it, and I think he can feel it, but I am terrified about the consequences. Last night we had phone foreplay without even intending to."

"Phone foreplay?"

"Yeah, one notch up from flirting but a few notches shy of charging 4.99 a minute." She caught Sookie's ghost of a smile. "What?"

"Nothing, nothing," Sookie quickly assured her. "It's just, I was imagining Luke and this whole foreplay thing and it was funny. It was full of diner-isms, like 'I'm gonna flip your patties' and 'I want my meat done well.'"

"Sookie! No, there was a danish bit, and then he took away my danishes, and then I asked how I could get them back, and he suggested strip tease and I suggested lap dance and it all kind of disintegrated from there."

"That's not the whole story, is it?" Sookie asked knowingly.

"No. He came over after closing to give me something from Lane, and he hadn't seen the Kirk movie…" Lorelai recapped the night's events.

When she was finished, Sookie said, "I always wondered what he looked like underneath that flannel."

"Sookie, he could be the guy on the Brawny paper towel label. I could barely refrain from jumping him. Or giving him the lap dance."

Sookie pouted. "You never offered me a lap dance for a danish. Are you saying his danishes are better than mine?" she joked. 

Lorelai rolled her eyes. "Next time you make some, I'll give you a lap dance too."

"Can I donate my lap dance to Luke?"

"No!"

Sookie shrugged. "It was worth a try. Anything else I should know?"

Lorelai lowered her voice and acted as if what she was about to tell Sookie was a classified secret. "He's afraid of Oompa Loompas."

When Sookie heard that, she started laughing and could not stop. At one point, Lorelai was afraid Sookie wasn't able to breathe. When the laughter finally subsided, Sookie held up her hand. "Sorry, sorry, it's just that…Luke, big strong tough Luke, is afraid of little bitty Ooompa Loompas."

Lorelai smiled. "It is pretty funny, isn't it?"

Sookie wiped the tears from her eyes. "I think I've picked out my Halloween costume." She playfully hit Lorelai on the arm. "This is so great! You guys slept together!" 

"Not in the biblical sense," Lorelai clarified. Then she mentioned Babette's now routine appearance at her front door, and how she'd been wearing Luke's shirt. "I swear Sookie, I feel like I'm trapped in an episode of Three's Company, with the nosy neighbors and the wacky misunderstandings."

 "At least Luke's not pretending to be gay," Sookie pointed out. Then she thought of something. "If Babette knows, that means Patty knows, which means..."  

"The whole town knows. But it's not even true."

"You can make it true."

"I want to, Sookie. But how long will it last? I can't casually date Luke, because he's _Luke. But none of my relationships end up well, and I don't want Luke to be on the reject list. I don't want to hurt him, so that leaves me with like, no options."_

"But with Luke it could be different; that's the whole point. The point which you seem to be missing."

"I'm not missing it, I'm just not certain of it. Now that I know what it's like to not have Luke as a friend, I don't want to do anything that would cause that situation again. There's no guarantee that anything with Luke would work."

Sookie was starting to get a little frustrated. If only she could lock the two of them up in a room until they got through the first, biggest hurdle. "You don't get guarantees on this kind of thing. The only guarantee you're going to get is that you wasted your money on a bunch of lingerie."

"I know. I just had this irrational thought of 'hey, what if something _does happen, even if you didn't plan on it happening. You don't want to be caught wearing the Hello Kitty underwear you've had since 1987 and that turquoise bra with the brown stripes.' Last night was a total example of my unpreparedness. It's just a Boy Scout thing, you know, always be prepared."_

"Except the boy scouts don't buy bras."

"The ones they kick out of the troop might."

Sookie put her hand on Lorelai's shoulder. "Look, you bought all that stuff because no matter how many times your brain tells you what to do, your heart isn't listening. So maybe you should listen to your heart."

"That's a song, isn't it?" Lorelai rolled her eyes. "I see your point. But I'm still not gonna actively pursue this. If it happens, it happens, and hopefully I'll look good when it does."

"To me it would be more realistic to say 'when it happens.'"

"Look, potato, potahto, I'm not going to throw myself at him."

"So your plan of action is to take no action."

Lorelai nodded. "And to look pretty while doing it."

-end ch. 13-


	14. Chapter 14

I must apologize for not posting this earlier. I actually completely forgot about this story, which is pretty lame considering I've had up to chapter 15 written since early September. (And the reason for not posting all at once is b/c I'm still stuck after Chapter 15 and was hoping I'd be able to use the time to write new chapters. Except I haven't. Grr! Damn those best laid plans of mice and men.)

The Summerfest mentioned later on is actually a nod to MST3K's ep "Soultakers," an unbelievably bad yet strangely amusing piece of crap from the 80s. So you can imagine how jazzed I was when a similar idea popped up on the GG season premiere. Maybe Amy also shares a love for bad Joe Estevez flicks.

*                                                          *                                              *

Chapter 14 (aka, the Twinkle Light Chapter)

*                                                          *                                              *

Lorelai spent the rest of the afternoon helping to decorate the square for July 4th. Red, white, and blue decorations had been scattered around the town for weeks now, but they were going all out on the square for tomorrow. After it was discovered she couldn't really tie a bow because of her cast, she'd been moved from ribbon duty to hanging the red, white, and blue twinkle-lights. 

The sun had started to set, and the twinkle-lights were lit up to make the work easier. She worked her way down, wrapping the lights around the pre-hung wire; all she had to do now was connect it to the other line at the top of the street lamp and she'd be done. Then she could go get coffee.

She told her stomach to stop its stupid fluttering at the thought. It wasn't like she hadn't seen Luke in forever; she'd already seen him three times that day. Hell, she'd spent the night on the couch with him. Okay, don't think of that, she told herself, when the fluttering increased.

It actually felt like she was going to throw up.

She climbed down from the small step stool she was using, intending to move it closer to the lamp so she could finish. 

"You're not using this, right?" Kirk asked, walking by and taking the step stool without waiting for an answer.

"Wha-?" Lorelai couldn't even finish the word before Kirk was gone. "I was using that," she called out, even though in the dusk she couldn't distinguish him from anyone else at a distance.

She walked over to the street lamp and looked up at it. The end of the other twinkle-light strand mocked her from its elevated position. "Well, Rune thought I was a super tall freak," she muttered, and jumped, trying to plug her end into the one up there.

She missed by a good two feet. She tried again, imagining she was Michael Jordan, just in case that helped. "Holy crap," she exclaimed when she reached the top of the street lamp. Then she felt the hands on her waist. She looked down. Luke had snuck behind and lifted her, settling her onto his shoulder.

"Thanks," she said, somewhat bewildered.

"You gonna plug it in or not?" Ah, the sweet-talker of the town emerged. 

She shoved the plug into the other end. "All done."

He gave his shoulder a jerk and she slid off; he caught her with ease. "Wow," she commented, slightly out of breath. "We could totally be figure skaters with moves like that." She saw the look on his face. "Or we could avoid any activity that would involve you and a pair of tights completely."

Luke set her on the ground. "If you know what's best for you," he asserted.

"What brings you out here amongst the festivities? Or did you have a little speech planned about how all the festivals are stupid?"

"You," he simply stated. He didn't like how it sounded; who was he, Hugh Grant in some chick flick? "I saw you. Figured you needed some help," he elaborated.

"Yeah, especially since that little gremlin Kirk took the ladder I was using."

"I saw that too. Don't worry; I tripped him when he was walking by me."

"Really?" Lorelai was a little surprised, but also disappointed that she missed it. It would have been quite an amusing scene.

"No," Luke admitted. 

"Maybe next time then." Lorelai looked at her wrist, which didn't have a watch on it. "Ooh, looks like it's break time. Coffee?"

Luke pointed to a nearby bench. "Got it covered." There were two cups and a bag resting on it.

"Okay, which one's the coffee and which is the herbal tea?" Lorelai asked, heading over to the bench. Luke picked one of the cups up and handed it to her. She took a deep sip. "Oh my god, that is amazing. Let me guess, nutmeg?"

"Cinnamon and some almond powder. I was feeling creative."

"Get creative more often." She looked inside the bag, and discovered a chocolate chocolate-chip muffin. Any food that had the word 'chocolate' appearing more than once in its name was high up on her list of favorites; she took a huge, very unladylike bite. 

Since she couldn't speak with her mouth full, she looked around the square, which was almost done. It really looked good. And with the twinkle-lights providing the only lighting until the streetlamps were turned on by their timers, it seemed almost perfect. 

"What are you thinking?" Luke asked, not used to her being quiet. He could be quiet for hours, but for Lorelai anything past thirty-seven seconds was rare. Even with food in her mouth. Thinking might lead to plotting, which made him nervous.

"How eerily picture perfect this looks. You could take a picture and put it on the cover of Time."

As if on cue, there were camera flashes. Luke saw Kirk wandering around, taking pictures of everything from Miss Patty and Babette having an animated discussion to a garbage can. He hoped the lens cap was on this time, too.

Lorelai finished the muffin, and the silence weighed heavy on her. She wondered if this was the same bench they'd been sitting on at her and Max's engagement party. She couldn't remember.

"Hey, Luke?" she asked.

"Yeah?" He turned to look at her. She tucked her legs under her and turned to the side so she could see him. 

"Would you have come to the wedding?"

"What wedding?"

"My wedding. With Max."

Luke turned his face forward and looked again at the activities. She thought he wasn't going to give her an answer at all as the silence stretched, until he gruffly admitted, "No."

She was hurt by his answer, and that surprised her. Didn't it insinuate he hadn't been supportive of her and Max getting married? Wasn't that what she wanted, for him to have opposed the wedding? "You wouldn't have come at all?"

Luke didn't like this. He felt like every possible answer was a trap. "Probably not. What does it matter? You didn't have a wedding."

"I know, but…" She swallowed nervously. "Maybe I had this little fantasy in my head, where I'm about to marry him, and they do the whole 'if anyone objects' line, and you show up and say 'I object.' Because you knew it wasn't right, and you were the only one with the guts to do it." She laughed, a little too hysterically. "It's silly."

Luke shrugged. "Most fantasies are." He put his hand on her knee and squeezed gently. "It's okay." He took a deep breath. "It might even have happened."

"Really?"

He looked at her. "Well, now you'll never know."

"Evil." 

They sat quietly, until out of the blue, Luke spoke up. "Rachel left because she thought I didn't love her."

"Funny. Max implied the same thing. That I didn't love him," she quickly clarified, "not that Rachel left because you didn't love her. He didn't even know Rachel. And now I'm babbling. So I will shut up."

"She was right."

"So was he."

Dusk had become night, and the twinkle-lights provided only the barest illumination from where they were sitting. She wondered if anyone could even see them, or if they were only shadows on the bench. The sound of music hit her ears; the troubadour was wandering down the path, approaching them.

"Oh Jesus," Luke mumbled. 

Lorelai frowned. "Hey, I like him." She listened harder. "Except the song he's playing; I don't like that. It's the most depressing song on earth. Depressing people in a depressing bar, blech. Talk about your buzz kill. Plus, he's playing the guitar, so that just doesn't work with the song." 

The troubadour came closer, the strains of Billy Joel's "Piano Man" carrying nicely on the summer breeze. 

"Hey!" Luke called at him. The troubadour came closer, never missing a note. 

"Hi, Grant," Lorelai greeted when he was a few feet away. Luke hadn't even known the guy had a name. Grant nodded back. 

Luke skipped the pleasantries. "I'll give you five bucks to not sing that song."

"I don't play for money," Grant told him, still strumming the guitar, "or not play."

"Fine. Just play something else then."

"Any requests?"

"Something more upbeat than that," Luke suggested.

"YMCA!" Lorelai provided. Luke rolled his eyes.

"Do _not listen to her. Just play anything else that's not depressing" _

Grant nodded. "Anything you say." He walked a few feet off, changing the chords on his guitar. "Well I guess it would be nice," he sang, "If I could touch your body, I know not everybody has got a body like you. But I gotta think twice, before I give my heart away, and I know all the games you play, because I play them too."

Apparently, Luke didn't find it as amusing as she did. "Get the hell out of here!"

"Hey, I just play off the vibes I feel." Grant wandered off, the guitar never missing a note.

Lorelai giggled when she saw how hard Luke's jaw was clenched. "Oh, loosen up," she instructed him, "the whole town thinks we had sex already."

"What?" And what did she mean by 'already?' That would imply that they had done by now something that they were going to do; was she really expecting to sleep with him in the future, instead of just torturing him for years with flirting?   
  


"Yeah, Babette saw your car parked in front of my house two nights in a row. I'm sure Patty's spread it all over town by now like jelly on a roll." After a brief pause, she added, "Damn. Now I'm hungry."

Luke missed the whole jelly induced hunger since he was still trying to process the gossip information. Didn't anyone in this town respect privacy? He didn't want to get mad, though, because he'd probably end up yelling at Lorelai even if it wasn't her fault. Which would trigger another fight, and he didn't think he could make it through another month like the last one. Instead, he just said, "There are all these comments I heard today that are suddenly making sense." 

The streetlamps chose to go on at that moment. Taylor refused to change the timers, claiming the town was saving energy. Luke had actually agreed with him for the first time in a town meeting, although he had been highly disturbed by the fact that Taylor had control over the streetlamps. 

Lorelai saw that the diner was closed. "Closed early, I see?" 

"National holiday tomorrow. It would be un-American of me to stay open late."

 "So, are you gonna make an appearance at the festivities?"

"If when you say 'festivities,' you mean where everyone gathers in the square and shoves their faces full of red meat and hot dogs, and then have the nerve to look at _me like I'm crazy when I tell them what's in those things, while little children run around with burning sticks in their hands? Then no."_

"Burning sticks, you sound like a crotchety old man. They're sparklers, they're harmless."

"I still say you don't give a kid a burning stick."

"But tomorrow is the day we celebrate our independence and the intrinsic freedom which entitles all of us the right to play with fire."

"I donated some hamburger meat, a few apple pies, and a ton of brownies. I've done my share."

"Did you-"

"Save an entire apple pie for you? Yes."

They were interrupted by Miss Patty, who had finished rehearsing with her dance class, and left the little girls behind to visit Luke and Lorelai. "I'm so happy for you two!" she told them.

Luke groaned and Lorelai took pity on him. He hated public displays of anything. "Patty, we're not sleeping together."

Patty winked. "Oh, just fooling around then. No harm in that. Of course, if I were you, Lorelai, I don't think I'd be able to hold out-"  
  


"Patty!" Luke was practically growling.

"Sorry, honey, but it's true. If I were young and thin like her, I'd be all over you like icing on a cinnamon bun."

Luke was saved from further embarrassment when Taylor called Patty. "I never thought I'd be so grateful to see him," Luke said once Patty had walked away. 

Lorelai started laughing. "What?" Luke asked. She shook her head and laughed harder, wiping tears from her eyes. "Lorelai," he growled.

"Nothing," she managed to say after gulping down some air. "It's just…" she giggled, "I got this mental picture…of you, with icing all over, and Patty was licking you, and for no good reason you had those little Princess Leia buns for hair," she explained, and laughed harder.

"That's not funny," he automatically responded. She started to calm down, wiping under her eyes so she wouldn't look like a raccoon. Luke smirked. "Was I wearing the gold bikini?" 

A flash blinded them both. "Kirk, get the hell out of here before the only thing that camera can take a picture of is your colon." Luke threatened.

"Why would…oh," Kirk paled and scurried away.

"My coffee's empty," Lorelai said once Kirk had left.

"And?" Luke asked, looking for her point.

"And, I think we should go to the diner and get me more coffee. Then we could mock everybody from inside, because we're special and get to come in, and they're un-special and get left out."

Luke stood up. "Sounds good to me."

As they walked to the diner, Lorelai asked, "So where's Jess? I haven't seen him in a while." Her lust factor was running fairly high; just in case anything did happen, she didn't want him around.

"If a while is a day and a half. One day of which you didn't even leave your house."

"So what's he up to?" Lorelai inquired, ignoring his logic.

"He spent yesterday working after school, and read some book all night."

"Wow. His life is almost as exciting as yours."

"Hey, I slept with a good looking woman last night."

Lorelai tried to hide her grin. "Can't argue there. So what did he do today?" 

"He was at school. Do you want to put a Lo-Jack on him?" 

"Sorry. I was just getting used to his snarky wit. Kinda miss it."

Luke unlocked the door to the diner and let her in. "Really?" 

"No, that was sarcasm," Lorelai informed him. "Have I lost my touch?"

Luke shrugged, and headed behind the counter to start a pot of coffee. "He's busy tonight."

"Oh, what's he doing? Helping little old ladies across the street?"

"He's on the fireworks team."

Lorelai laughed. "I'm sorry, I must have gone temporarily insane because I thought you said he was on the fireworks team. As in the team that is in charge of the fireworks. Fireworks, as in those things that explode."

"I did."

"Why?"

"Because he is."

"Again, why?"

"Taylor was afraid he'd steal the fireworks, or set them off, so yesterday he offered Jess one of the jobs."

"I retract my earlier statement about the American right for kids to bear big sticks of fire."

"I think Taylor's just going with that 'keep your enemies closer' theory. He lights a few fuses, so he gets to have his fun while he's completely supervised. Besides, Kirk was supposed to help but he chickened out, so they needed someone. Someone not afraid of fire and loud noises."

"But that's like putting Hannibal Lecter in charge of catering."

"Maybe that's a slight exaggeration. Desperate times, desperate measures." He realized he still hadn't turned on the lights, and started to flip the switch.

"Leave them off," Lorelai suggested. They could see well enough with the lights from outside. "You don't want the whole town coming over and demanding food."

"Oh, right, because that would be bad for business." 

"Hey, you're the one who decided to close."

Luke put a paper cup in front of her. "It's not that big a deal. There's a town meeting in ten minutes, so I would have been closed anyway."

Lorelai frowned. "Is this another one of those secret town meetings? Because I wasn't invited," she pouted.

"It was announced yesterday. Word on the street is they want to add another festival to make up the gap between July 4th and Halloween." The distaste was evident in his voice.

"Ooh, someone's excited," Lorelai teased.

"Only because I'm going to vote it down." He filled her cup. "Let's go."

"We still have," Lorelai looked at her imaginary watch, "eight minutes."

"Seven, and we still have to walk there."

"You can walk to anywhere in Star's Hollow in two minutes or less. Besides, my coffee is very hot and if I walk with it, it might slosh over and burn me." They had plenty of time.

"With logic like that…" Luke grabbed a lid from under the counter. "You're gonna be early for once in your life."

"I was two days early with Rory," she protested.

"For what?" 

Stupid male. "For pushing her out of my uterus." 

Luke looked highly uncomfortable. "I'm going now, you and your uterus can stay if you want to be late."

Lorelai put the lid on her coffee and got up. "You shouldn't trust me with your coffee stash," she said.

When they walked into Miss Patty's dance studio, Lorelai thought Taylor was going to have a heart attack from the surprise of seeing her early. She smirked, and nudged Luke so he wouldn't miss it. 

"If you came in ten minutes early, you probably would have killed him," Luke commented as they took their seats. 

"Good thing I procrastinated so much in the diner. If he died before the meeting, I'd miss the requisite Luke-Taylor argument scene." 

The seats were already half filled, and people were streaming in, quickly claiming the empty ones. Lorelai noticed that many of the townsfolk were looking at them.

"This must be what Brad and Jennifer feel like," Lorelai said. Luke looked confused. "Don't look now," she told him, "but people are staring at us."

"Why?" Luke immediately asked, being the type of person who hated attention. Then he remembered the rumors that Patty and Babette had started circling. "Oh."

"Yeah," Lorelai confirmed. She leaned over and whispered, "Bet I can get the whole room buzzing with just one movement of my hand."

Luke really wanted her to try it, but not with the entire town looking on. "No."

Lorelai sat back. "You're no fun."

"And this is a revelation?" he sarcastically asked.

Taylor banged the gavel. Lorelai figured he avidly watched Judge Judy. "Let's begin the meeting. First, I'd like to congratulate Lorelai on being early for the first time since she's moved here." He clapped his hands, and the rest of the town followed suit.

"It's a once in a lifetime thing, I promise," Lorelai responded. "Like Hailey's comet."

"Now," Taylor began, "as most of you know, there is a severe lack of holidays or festivals between July 4th and Halloween."

"There's Labor Day," Luke dryly informed him.

Taylor rolled his eyes. "That is hardly a celebratory event."

"You could celebrate it quietly. Without a festival," Luke suggested.

"That's no fun," Lorelai said.

"Thank you, Lorelai. Festivals are about community, and we need to keep community spirit high."

"Pot festival," Luke suggested, sotte voce to Lorelai.

"And since it's a community issue," Taylor continued, "as a community, we can decide the theme of the new festival."

"But we haven't even voted on whether or not we should even have a new festival," Luke pointed out.

Lorelai nudged him with her good arm. "Killjoy."

"That would be a waste of time," Taylor haughtily replied. "Everyone is for it."

"I'm not," Luke countered.

Taylor gave an exasperated sigh. "Everyone besides you."

"I'm not for it either," Kirk piped in, getting up from his seat.

"What? Why?" Taylor was shocked. From Luke he'd expected it.

Kirk crossed his arms. "Festivals emphasize the gaping loneliness in my life." He sat down.

Lorelai shook her head. "I guess that date didn't go well for him."

Taylor leaned on the podium. "Fine, we'll vote. Who would like a new festival to take place between July 4th and Halloween? Raise your hand." Taylor surveyed the multitude of raised hands. Lorelai put up both of hers, until her bad arm started throbbing and she had to put it down.

"Okay," Taylor concluded, "Everyone is for a new festival with the exception of Luke, Kirk, and Mrs. Lanahan."

Mrs. Lanahan, who was sitting behind Lorelai, was startled from her dozing state with the sound of her name. "What?" she asked.

Lorelai turned around. "Do you want a new festival?" she asked her.

"Now?" Mrs. Lanahan asked, confused.

Lorelai gave up and turned back around. 

"Not that there's any need, but all opposed, raise your hand." Taylor instructed. Luke and Kirk raised their arms. Lorelai tugged on Luke's, trying to lower it.

Taylor banged the gavel. "Motion passes, the new festival is a go. The next matter is choosing a theme. The floor is open to suggestions."

Patty stood up. "Summer theater," she said, looking at Luke.

"NO." He adamantly said, crossing his arms.

Lorelai stood up. "Leprechaun Day!"

Taylor rolled his eyes. "Serious suggestions only, please."

"I was serious. Rory also votes for Leprechaun Day."

Taylor rolled his eyes again. "Rory can't vote, she's not even here."

"She sent in an absentee ballot," Lorelai quipped before sitting back down.

Jackson got up. "Summer fruit festival?"

Lorelai stuck her tongue out. "Bleh. Fruit." Then she got an idea. She stood up again. 

Taylor banged his gavel. "You already pitched an idea."

"So? I'm pitching another one. I'm a big pitcher. Like…uh," Lorelai struggled to think of any name.

"Nolan Ryan," Luke offered.

"Yeah, like that guy," Lorelai finished.

Taylor wasn't swayed. "Let other people have a chance." They waited. No one else stood up. "Fine, what is it?"

"How about a Days of Summer/End of Summer type thing? The theme _is summer, and summer related stuff. Like lemonade! Summer lovin'! Picnics! We could play Don Henley's 'Boys of Summer.' We could worship the sun, like the Aztecs! Ooh, human sacrifices!"_

Taylor cocked his head to the side. "Somewhere in that insanity lies a good idea. Summerfest?" he pitched. The town murmured and nodded their assent. "Does anyone object to August 31st as the date?" The town shook their heads. "Excellent," Taylor said, and banged his gavel. 

He looked at his watch. "Well, that went a lot quicker than expected, so I'll use the remaining time to discuss an issue on town population. As many of you know, Mrs. Mills is pregnant; however, she's recently found out that she's having twins, which means that when both babies are born, Stars Hollow will have exactly 10,000 registered residents. So I'd like to take this opportunity to remind you that while community growth is generally a very good sign of economic and social productivity, rapid growth can be detrimental. So think carefully about the size of your family."

Lorelai's eyebrows raised. "Are we in China?" 

The meeting adjourned, people began getting up and leaving. Andrew walked by Lorelai and Luke on the way out, and said, "Luke, I thought you'd never get the courage. I owe Bootsy twenty bucks."

"What the hell are you talking about?"  
  


"The two of you," Andrew explained, gesturing to each with his hands, then rubbing his hands together, raising his eyebrows suggestively. 

"Keep your twenty bucks, since we're not together. Not that it's your business," Luke grumbled. Andrew held his hands up in surrender and walked away.

Bootsy, unfortunately, was nearby as well. "Hey, I wanna thank you guys. Now Andrew owes me twenty bucks," he gloated.

"We're not together," Luke said to his retreating form.

They were almost out the door when Al came up to them, a knowing smile on his face. 

"I don't want to hear it," Luke said, before Al could say anything. He turned around and saw the rest of the people looking at them. He knew there wasn't much privacy in small towns, but he'd been spared from most of their curiosity by being the supposed town hermit. Now that the attention was on him, he wasn't used to it; he didn't like it one bit. "That goes for all of you. Don't you people have anything better to do? Reality shows to watch? I am not dating Lorelai!"

"They're just fooling around," Patty informed anyone close enough to hear her mutter under her breath.

Luke hadn't heard her, and continued in his rant. "You want to know what's going on, fine, I'll tell you what's going on, but after that you mind your own damn business. We'd got in a fight a while back-"

"Everyone knows that," Patty said, in that 'boy you're stupid' tone.

"But now we've made up, and she hurt her arm, so I'm helping her out, okay? We are not sleeping together-" he saw Patty's mouth open, "or fooling around," he quickly added. "Lorelai and I are just friends so find something else to bet on or talk about because you're wasting your time." He was still angry, but if he stayed there any longer, he'd just get angrier, and his words wouldn't make any sense, so he stalked off. 

Once outside, he realized Lorelai wasn't next to him. He looked out over the street and saw her walking away. She must have left while he was yelling. Walking fast, he caught up the twenty feet separating them. 

"Is there a sale on donuts or shoes?" he asked once he was by her side.

"No," she said, irritation in her voice.

"What then?"

"Nothing." She walked faster.

So did he. "You usually like public attention; I thought they wouldn't have bothered you."

Lorelai shook her head angrily. "Oh, _they didn't."_

Luke stopped suddenly. "You're mad at _me?" he asked incredulously. "I defended us!"_

She turned around. "Defended? Us?" She scoffed. "You defended yourself. You _insulted me."_

Luke couldn't remember his exact words, since they'd been fueled by anger, but he didn't recall saying anything insulting about her. "What the hell did I say?" 

"Everything short of pointing at me and shouting 'leper'! It doesn't matter if they think we're sleeping together. Let them think what they want, because they will anyway. But I'm glad I found out that you find even the idea that someone thinks we've had sex revolting. It's good to know, really. I'm surprised you're even standing this close to me. You might get infested with _cooties!" With that, she took off, leaving Luke standing in the road, completely confused._

-end Ch. 14-

The next chapter is rated R. Not for sex, but for heavy drug use and excessive violence. Just kidding. Start digging the Barry White albums out of the closet!


	15. Chapter 15

Please note that chapter 15 is Rated 'R'. It's nothing super graphic, but I'm being safe and taking precautions. And now I sound like one of those Human Ed. classes in middle school. 

Ooh baby. Doesn't that put you in the mood? *g*

***

Chapter 15

***

Okay, so maybe she'd over reacted a little bit, Lorelai thought to herself as she finished up her work at the Inn the next day. It wasn't like Luke had purposely tried to hurt her; he'd only been angry at the town for being nosy.

That was what her rational side was telling her. The rest of her was still fairly pissed that Luke wasn't happy that everyone thought he was sleeping with her. She was hot! He should be grateful.

She wished the day would go by faster. The sooner she could get out of there, the sooner she could go to the festival, which would definitely cheer her up. Michel chose that moment to walk through the door. "I've never been so glad to see you," Lorelai greeted.

"Though it sounded like a compliment, I am aware that you are only saying it because you want to go to your silly festival and stuff your face full of every fat-filled food you can find." He took his place behind the desk.

"No, really I mean it. I'm glad to see you because I _looove_ you, Michel." She put her good arm around him. He picked it off like it was lint.

"I think you have taken too many of your pills."

Lorelai grabbed her purse and gave him a goodbye wave. "Thanks for working the night shift. I'll let you have Bastille Day off this year."

"You are too kind." 

Lorelai ignored his sarcasm and poked her head into the kitchen. "Hey Sookie, you ready to go?"

Sookie turned away from the stove. "Ready. Let's go celebrate our independence." She giggled. "Our independence….only it's away from the Independence, as in the Independence Inn-"

Lorelai cut her off before she could make even less sense. "Okay, no more cooking sherry for you. Grab your keys, let's get out of here."

Sookie drove Lorelai back to her house. They talked about various things, until Sookie brought up Luke. 

"Did you convince him to come to the festival this year? Tell him there's some extra space on your blanket?" 

"No. You were at the meeting last night, you witnessed the Lorelai-is-icky speech he delivered."

Sookie sighed. "Lorelai, I love you, but you're stupid." Lorelai opened her mouth to protest, but Sookie held up her hand, telling her to wait while she explained. "Luke doesn't like people bothering him. He doesn't like people prying into his life. But what he really, really doesn't like is people uncovering his secrets. And his biggest secret is that he totally loves you. He's only denying it so much because he's afraid his secret will get out. Of course, he's not aware that everyone's known his secret for years."

They pulled into Lorelai's driveway. "So, maybe I was a little too harsh on him?" Lorelai asked.

Sookie gave her a sympathetic smile. "Just a little." They pulled into Lorelai's driveway.

Lorelai opened the door and got out of the car. Sookie waved and said she'd see her later, then drove away. Lorelai walked up to her front door, the chuppa mocking her from the front lawn. Maybe she had been too hard on Luke. She smiled when she thought of a good way to make it up to him.

***

"May I salute the flag?" Kirk asked when Lorelai made her appearance at the festival. 

Lorelai smirked. "Only if you don't touch the flag," she warned him. Kirk nodded, and saluted her chest, then continued on his way to the food. Lorelai spotted Sookie and Jackson sitting on a blanket near the gazebo, and headed over to join them.

"I don't think that's what Betsy Ross intended the flag to look like," Sookie greeted her.

Lorelai was wearing a tube top with an American flag print. It was tight, small, and looked like she stole it off Britney Spears. She sat down, groaning. She also had on her lowest cut, tightest pair of jeans. "I was in a patriotic spirit," Lorelai explained.

"Are you sure it wasn't an 'entice the local diner man' spirit?" Sookie questioned with a knowing grin.

"You're hitting on Luke?" Jackson asked, a little too loudly. Both women immediately shushed him, nervously looking around to see if anyone had heard. "Sorry," he whispered.

"I'm not hitting on Luke," Lorelai denied, "I just wanted to look my best for my country."

"We'll let that one slide," Sookie said. 

"So, um, you haven't seen him, have you?" Lorelai asked.

"Seen who?" Jackson mock-innocently asked.

"You know." Lorelai glowered.

"I'm sorry honey, you'll have to be more specific," Sookie said, teasing.

Lorelai frowned. "You two suck," she said, and got up. 

"Tell Luke we say hi," Jackson called out as she walked away. Sookie giggled and he kissed her forehead. They nuzzled in newlywed bliss until a shadow fell over them.

They looked up to see Kirk standing above them. "People are trying to eat," he said, then walked away.

Jackson watched him go. "He _so needs a girlfriend."_

***

Lorelai spent the next two hours consuming as many hamburgers as she could, since Luke wasn't around to point out how high in cholesterol they were. The festival itself wasn't bad, but without Rory there, she just wasn't enjoying it like she normally did. People were picnicking in the square on the barbeque food, the multitude of deserts, and enjoying the company of their loved ones. 

Lorelai was sitting on a bench watching them all with envy. She pulled the cell phone from her purse and dialed Rory's D.C. number.

"Thank god you're there," she said when Rory answered the phone.  
  


"And hello to you too," Rory replied.

"I've never realized how lame this festival is without you here," Lorelai told her.

Rory smiled. "Aw, it's so nice to be missed. It's a good thing you caught me; Paris and I were going to watch the fireworks by the Capital."

"Just stay away from lechery congressmen." 

"Will do." Rory waited for her mom to say something else, but got silence instead. Which meant only one thing. "Mom, what is it?"

"What's what?"

"What is it that you want to tell me, but can't bring yourself to tell me, so you're sitting there picking imaginary lint off your shirt while you think of a way to bring it up?"

Lorelai's hand dropped away from her shirt. Damn kid. "Well, there's a lot of things, but mostly just one question. Will you really, truly, beyond a shadow of a doubt be okay with Luke and I getting together?"

"Did something happen?"

"Yes and no. So just please, Rory, answer me truthfully. Because if you think it's a bad idea, I won't let it happen."

There was barely a pause before Rory answered. "I don't think it's a bad idea."

"This isn't Jeopardy, sweetie. You can take a few seconds to think about it if you want."

"Luke's always been there for both of us, as long as I can remember. More than Dad, and you were ready to start something with him before he found out about Sherry."

"Thank you so much for reminding me about that." 

"Hey," she heard from behind. She tried to hide the smile that crept up on her lips. Luke was standing behind the bench, a cup of coffee in his hand. 

Rory must have heard him over the phone. "I'll let you two be alone." 

Lorelai said goodbye to her daughter, ended the call and turned around to face Luke. "Hey yourself."

"Walk with me," he said, and handed her the coffee.

She stood up, and they slowly walked down the path, narrowly avoiding the kids running with sparklers. Maybe Luke did have a point about that, she thought. 

Lorelai took a deep, fortifying gulp of coffee. "I'm sorry," she said, and hoped she wouldn't have to say much more.

Luke shook his head. "It's okay. I'm sorry too. It didn't even occur to me that it would be insulting you."

Lorelai smiled up at him. "This you and me fighting thing is really getting old."

"Tell me about it."

She stuck her cast hand out. "No more fighting?"

He shook her hand. "No more fighting."

"Now you gotta spit to seal the deal."

Luke looked appalled. "I'm not spitting."

"It's not like you're spitting on food, we're outside. Look, I'll go first." Lorelai spit on the ground.

"Such a charmer," Luke grumbled.

"C'mon," Lorelai taunted, "pretend you're a baseball player."

Luke sighed. "I was a baseball player." He spit to prove it.

"See, that wasn't so bad." 

"Actually, I think the spit-deal is done by spitting in our palms, then shaking."

"I know, but that's gross."

They continued walking. Neither was aware that they were still holding hands. 

"I like how you went with the red flannel today. Very patriotic." Lorelai said, when the silence started to grow.

"Yeah, well," Luke looked her up and down, taking in the tiny tube top she had on, "God bless America."

Their walk had taken them away from the main square, near the bridge where the trees were thicker. The sounds of the festival were muted, the music tinny and far away. The sun had started to set, painting the horizon in glorious shades of pink, purple, and red. The fireworks would be starting soon.

"So, I've got a little extra space on my blanket," Lorelai started, "you can share it if you want. For the fireworks."

"Nah, that's okay," Luke answered. "I've got my own place."

"Oh." Lorelai tried to keep the disappointment out of her voice, failing miserably. Luke smirked.

"You can join me, though, if you want," he offered.

"But you've never come out to see them. Not once in the entire time I've lived here have I seen you out watching them."

Luke shrugged. "I don't like watching them from the square. Too many people, talking and ruining it."

"Has anyone told you that you're antisocial?" 

"No, never," he sarcastically answered. They crossed over the bridge, which reminded Luke that he still owed Jess a few dunkings, and followed the path as it circled back toward the square. 

"Ooh, firefly!" Lorelai pointed out as she saw the luminescent insect cross their path.

"I thought they were lightning bugs."

"I think they're both," she conceded, watching it as it flew along. She wasn't much into nature, but sometimes it could be pretty cool. Something Sookie said jumped out of her memory. "Hey, Luke, are you by any chance in Greenpeace?"

Luke looked at her a little strangely, since the question seemed to come from nowhere. "Uh, no."

Lorelai nodded. "Good." No chance he'd be meeting any tree-hugging potential girlfriends anytime soon.

"I've got a membership in the Sierra Club," he told her. Lorelai felt the butterflies returning to her stomach. "That's actually where I met Rachel," he confided. "She was taking pictures for them for a deforestation issue." Lorelai felt like the butterflies had grown legs and were kicking her. 

"Oh, swell," she said, her enthusiasm severely lacking. They walked in quiet for a few minutes, watching the fireflies dart around in the warm air. It was muggy, and she hoped it wouldn't rain during the fireworks. A lock of hair fell in her eyes, and she lifted the hand not holding the coffee up to brush it away. That's when she finally realized she and Luke had been holding hands the whole time.

"Hey, look at that," she said, indicating their hands. Luke looked surprised too. "If we were Amish, this would be third base."

"Sorry," Luke quickly apologized, and let go of her hand. Lorelai rolled her eyes.

"We aren't Amish," she admonished, and reached for his hand. Luke felt her fingers wrap around his; his body tingled in response. He told himself to calm down, it wasn't like they were in sixth-grade where holding hands was a big deal. Although with kids these days, the sixth-graders were probably having more sex than he was. 

She could feel him tensing up next to her. "So, where's this secret place where you watch the fireworks?" she asked, hoping to distract him.

"It's not a secret."

"Well, I don't know where it is, so it's a secret to me."

He tugged on her hand. "I'll show you. But don't get all excited and go thinking it's someplace special, or a hidden lair, or the Bat Cave or something." They followed the path out of the trees, and back into the square. The sun had set completely now, and they picked their way through the maze of people on blankets waiting to watch the fireworks show. They crossed the street until they reached the diner.

"Okay, this place is definitely not a secret," Lorelai said as he unlocked the door.

"I told you it wasn't." He let her in, and nodded to the stairs. 

Lorelai was nervous, and when she was nervous, she often used humor to cover it up. "Hmm. You're gesturing for me to go upstairs. To experience the fireworks. And your bed is upstairs. Apparently, you think very highly of yourself." 

Luke blushed, and Lorelai kept the satisfactory grin from spreading very far. She liked getting to him. "Just get up there," he told her.

"How can I resist such sweet talk?" she cooed, and headed up the stairs. Instead of going to the door to his apartment, Luke walked to the end of the hallway and opened another door. There was a narrow flight of stairs.

"Ah, the roof! I've discovered your secret!" Lorelai excitedly said.

"Yeah, you're quite the mastermind." 

"_Evil mastermind._ It sounds much cooler."

They climbed the stairs, and Luke opened the door. The roof was about twenty feet above street level, and gave them a nice view of the town. The sounds of the festival could be heard clearly; Lane was currently playing John Fogherty's 'Fortunate Son.' She'd had an Americana theme going all night.

Lorelai whistled. "This is some sweet set up you've got here." She walked to the edge of the roof to get a better view of the square and its arrangement of red, white, and blue lights.

Luke, not really a guy who liked danger, wished she wouldn't stand so close to the edge. "We can sit over here," he said, hoping she'd move away. She did, and saw Luke had laid out a blanket over the large rectangular housing that covered the air conditioning unit. 

Lorelai sat down and Luke joined her. There was a small cooler on the ground, and he reached for it. He handed her a soda, and grabbed himself a beer.

"You're supposed to get the girl drunk," Lorelai informed him, looking at her soda. "You're not very good at this." 

"And you're not supposed to mix alcohol and pain killers."

"You're worse than my mom," Lorelai told him, popping the top of her soda. 

Luke really didn't know what to say to that, so he kept quiet and wished the damn fireworks would start already. His plan- if it could even be called that- had been to tell her how he felt about her once and for all, because if they kept slinging sexual innuendos back and forth he would go crazy. He also realized how close he'd come to losing any chance with her at Sookie's wedding. If Christopher's girlfriend hadn't been so fertile, Lorelai might just be a memory, instead of sitting next to him on his roof.

"Hey, if you had balloons, we could fill them with water and toss them at people. People like Kirk, and Taylor, and Bootsy," Lorelai suddenly suggested. 

Luke grinned. It wasn't a terrible idea. "I'll have to remember to add balloons the next time I place an order for the diner."

"Ooh! And you could order them so that they say 'Al's Pancake World,' thereby placing the blame on Al and we get off scott free!"

"Do you love Christopher?"

Lorelai froze. "Talk about your lack of segueway." 

Luke picked at the label on his beer. "Sorry. I just…I need to know."

There was a moment when she wanted to ask why, just to hear him come out and say it. But she knew Luke; the tiny admission had been very hard for him. She tried to choose her words carefully. "Of course I love him. I always will." She sneaked a glance at Luke. He looked like he had appendicitis. "But I'm not in love with him. Anymore," she amended. "You heard about what happened at Sookie's wedding?" He nodded. "It took me a while to realize it, but that was actually a good thing. Because I was very hurt at first. But I wasn't heartbroken. Am I making sense?"

"Yeah."

Luke had attempted to be bold; she felt she'd return the favor. "What hurt me more was you."

He had the decency to look sheepish. "Sorry about that."

"It wasn't completely your fault. Some of it definitely was. But you have always been there for me, and for Rory, and you've never done anything to hurt us, and I should have recognized that instead of immediately harping on you. I know we've supposedly made up, but I want to say how sorry I am again." She took a breath, feeling the heavy weight of her words. After an interminable silence, she felt the need to fill it with more words. "And I want to say that someone should tell Lane that "Bullet the Blue Sky" is not the cheeriest America-themed song one could pick for-"

"I was selfish," Luke said suddenly, cutting off her silence-filling babble. The beer label had been peeled off and he was in the process of shredding it. "At first, I wanted to hurt you, because you'd hurt me. Then after I saw that I did hurt you, I had this stupid thought that you'd just end up hurting me again."

  
"So that's why you went all Mean Luke."

"Yeah." He finished his beer and tossed it in the cooler, taking his frustration out. "I told you it's stupid."

They sat there in mopey silence for a few minutes. "Hey, here's a great idea, let's not talk about this anymore!" Lorelai said with false excitement.

"Good."

They sat in a comfortable silence for a while, although the longer she sat next to him, the less comfortable Luke became. She smelled so good, and her skimpy top was driving him crazy. He wanted to touch her, run his fingers over her shoulders and arms. Push her down on the blanket and make love to her in the warm summer night.

Lorelai was having similar problems. She'd been dying to see what he looked like without a shirt, and the night he'd fallen asleep on her couch had only increased her curiosity. She tried all the little signals; her knee brushing his, flipping her hair over her shoulder. 

A familiar guitar riff carried through the night air up to the roof of the diner. An idea came to Lorelai. 

"I love this song," she said, standing up and stretching out.

"It's not bad."

"You love it," she corrected. She shook her hips to the music. 

Luke smirked. "It's getting better."

Lorelai smiled back and danced harder. Luke watched every twitch of her hips, every slither of her arms. He had no idea what she had in mind, but as long as she kept moving her body like that, he didn't care.

She looked over her shoulder at him, her hair flying around her face. She winked. Luke suddenly felt uncomfortable; he knew she had something wicked planned.She ran her right hand up her left shoulder, then skimmed it down over her chest.

The blood completely rushed out of his brain at that point. She was…no, she couldn't be. He was imagining this. 

Luke looked horny and confused. She liked it. "I owe you a lap dance," she explained, moving closer to him, the bass line of 'American Woman' beating almost in sync with her heart. 

"That was…I thought…just a joke, you don't," his words hitched as Lorelai's hand slid under the bottom of her tube top and lifted the hem higher, "have to," he finished, without conviction.

"Don't have to," Lorelai said, her hips swaying a languid circle, "want to."

"Well, if you want to," he conceded. 

Lorelai came closer. "You want it too."

"Not arguing," he managed to say, which wasn't bad considering his brain was getting no blood. She was inches away from him now, her hips still gyrating, her eyes locking on to his. His hand reached out to circle her waist, pulling her closer. She straddled him, her knees on each side of his legs. His fingers slid over her skin with the slightest pressure. The night was warm, but her skin was hotter. He couldn't help it; he bent his head and kissed her exposed stomach. It sent the last of her reservations flying.

Her hand cupped his face, her fingers rasping over the ever present stubble. She pulled his head up, firmly but gently, until his eyes connected with hers. It had to be there, she swore to herself. If it wasn't there, she'd stop. Her heart hammered in her chest even faster, afraid she wouldn't see it. 

His eyes were a gorgeous shade of blue, she could tell, even in the dim light. The way he looked up at her, the way fear and desire and hope desperately clashed against each other in an attempt to be the emotion that was in control, the way his eyes never broke their gaze because he didn't even realize he was staring; all of this came together in that moment, and she saw it. She wanted to laugh and cry, but mostly, she wanted to kiss him. 

She lowered herself until she was sitting in his lap, eye level with him. His arousal was more than evident, and his chest pressed against hers with every shaky, hitching breath he took. One of them would break soon. One of them would be the first to gather their courage.

Neither of them wanted to be the one. 

Lorelai was uncharacteristically reserved. It was a big step for her; it felt even bigger than when she'd decided to accept Max's proposal. 

Luke was afraid. If he made the wrong move, if he made any move, she might fully understand the implications and run. She wasn't a stranger to running; he wasn't familiar with chasing.

It could have stayed at that stalemate forever; as it was, neither was sure how long they'd sat there, chest to chest, his hands pressing her to him, her hands keeping him in her sight. 'American Woman' was no longer riding on the warm summer breeze, and the noise of the crowd had quieted to a hush. If they'd been aware of anything but each other, they might have been prepared for it. The loud booming noise shocked them out of their silent reverie, closing the remaining distance between them.

Ten years. Ten years ago she had walked into his diner. Now, they were on the roof of it, and her lips were on his. They were softer than the skin under his fingertips, and sweeter than any pie or pastry he'd ever served her. Just like her, they were demanding, unyielding, and he gave in. 

His tongue swept over her bottom lip, her moan allowing entrance. She matched him stroke for stroke, giving as good as she got, just like always. He shouldn't have been surprised, but he was. He should have been prepared for the feelings that threatened to overtake him, since he'd been picturing this moment for years, but he wasn't. 

He couldn't breathe. With a last, regretful slide of his tongue against hers, and a quick nibble on her lip that let her know this was nowhere near over, he pulled away. His lungs sucked in the warm, summer night air. The smell of smoke was heavy in it. He opened his eyes, tilting his head back so he could see her. A halo of red and blue sparkled behind her, the explosion backlighting her so that her face was dark. The sparks twinkled and faded, dying before they fell to earth. 

He could see her again. Her face was flushed, her mouth open, her breathing heavy. She smiled. He smiled back.

"We're missing the fireworks," she managed to say.

"I don't care," he managed to answer, before he kissed her again. His hand slid down her back, under the waistband of her jeans, pressing her hard against him. She groaned at the increased friction, her fingers sliding into the hair at the nape of his neck and clenching hard, as if she was afraid she'd fall if she didn't hold onto him tight enough. 

She pulled so hard on his hair it hurt, but she distracted him from the pain with her needy kiss, and made him forget all about it when she rocked her hips against his. 

"Lorelai," he whispered, and she was hot all over. His hands were burning her every place they touched, the small of her back, her shoulder, her neck, her breast. The night was hot, the breeze blowing warm, and she could feel each bead of sweat as it rolled from the back of her neck down her spinal column.

He was wearing flannel, she thought, and had to be sweating more than her. She broke the kiss to pull his shirt off his shoulders. He helped her, and the moment his arms were free again, he reached up and pulled her face back down to his.

His baseball hat. His stupid, backwards baseball hat was in the way of her roving fingers. Without breaking the kiss, she yanked it off his head, tossing it over her shoulder. 

"Watch your arm," was the only warning he gave her before he crushed her to him and rolled over, laying her down on the blanket. He pushed the hem of her top up, kissing his way from the top of her jeans to just under her breasts, where the material was bunched. She put her arms over her head, and he took the hint and removed it completely. He kissed her hard, his weight pressing down on her, her back arching, her breasts begging for attention.

He always gave her what she wanted. His thumb grazed one, his tongue laving the other before he sucked her nipple into his mouth.

The jolt it sent through her body made her cry out.

***

Kirk had been walking down the sidewalk, past the flower shop. The fireworks were too loud; it wasn't that he was scared, he just wanted to protect his hearing. He'd been passing Luke's diner when an object fell out of the sky and hit him on the head.

He'd seen a documentary on T.V. where a lady had been walking on the street and a meteor the size of a golf ball had fallen out of the sky and hit her. The odds of that happening to someone were astronomical, no pun intended. He felt special.

He rubbed his head, then bent over to look for the interstellar fragment. Instead, he saw a blue baseball cap. Damn Luke was probably trying to kill him. Kirk thought of when Lorelai had asked him to fix her porch, and her Jeep. Luke was most likely jealous. Luke considered himself to be Lorelai's personal handyman. With a purposeful stride, he crossed the street back to the festival, braving the noise of the fireworks. 

Patty was the closest person. "Luke tried to kill me," he told her. He held up Luke's baseball hat as evidence.

"What?" she asked, not quite surprised that someone had tried to kill Kirk, but that they'd waited so long to do so.

"I was walking by the diner and _this," he shook the hat, "flew off the roof and hit me in the head."_

Patty raised an eyebrow. "I haven't seen Lorelai recently…" 

She ignored Kirk and went over to Babette. She explained the Kirk/hat incident. Babette looked around, and also didn't see Lorelai. The two of them went over to Andrew. He hadn't seen her either. The three headed over to Sookie and Jackson. Sookie said Lorelai had gone to look for Luke a while ago. Patty and Babette exchanged knowing grins, then walked toward the diner. Kirk and Andrew followed. Jackson and Sookie, curious, went after them.

The people who'd gathered in the square to watch the fireworks saw the group of six head over to Luke's. Most were curious as to what was more entertaining than the fireworks, and got up from their blankets and followed. 

  
Bootsy was one of that group. "What's going on?" he asked in his raspy voice.

Kirk explained that Luke tried to kill him by throwing his hat off the roof of the diner. Bootsy said that if Luke really wanted to kill Kirk, all he had to do was poison Kirk's food whenever he came into the diner. Kirk paled.

Miss Patty chuckled at Bootsy's comment, then laid a hand on Bootsy's arm. She whispered in a very loud stage whisper, "Lorelai went to see him."

Sookie got nervous. "We shouldn't be here," she said.

"We have every right to stand in the street," Bootsy defended.

"Shh!" Babette told the group, which had grown to about twenty people by now. "How can we hear anything if everyone's talking!"

"What are we listening for?" Kirk asked, annoyed that no one cared Luke tried to kill him.

A female cry answered him from the roof of the diner. It was faint, but unmistakable. 

"That," Miss Patty told him, and clapped. The rest of the group, even those that hadn't known what was going on before, suddenly understood, and joined her in the applause. 

Sookie, mortified for her best friend, and for Luke as well, thumped her head on Jackson's chest and a muffled, "Oh god," was repeated about a hundred times.

***

Lorelai's good hand held Luke's head to her chest, her fingers clenching and unclenching in hair that had been hidden under a baseball hat for way too long. No wonder he didn't talk a lot, she thought, he could do far better things with his tongue than form words. His teeth grazed her nipple and she cried out again as the pain and the pleasure intertwined. She could hear the applause and she grinned; he totally deserved it. His hand left her breast, trailing down her stomach to the button of her jeans, and she bolted up.

Applause? Why the hell was there applause? 

Luke thought she was changing her mind. He came crashing down like a junkie from his elated high to a terrible low. He tried to console himself with the thought that it was more than he ever hoped would happen. 

"Do you hear that?" she asked, and his dismay lifted a little. She hadn't said 'Get the hell off of me.'

"Hear what?" he asked, and when the pounding of his heart slowed down and quieted, he heard it. People were applauding. And cheering.

"They couldn't," Lorelai said, indignant and topless. She turned around and found her tube top. She tried to put it back on, but it caught on her cast, and she struggled with the material around her head, her breasts bouncing.

Luke forgot about the people momentarily as he was, like any man, distracted by the sight of breasts bouncing. With reluctance he helped her put her top back on, and once out of sight, he remembered again.

A shout of, "It's about time!" reached them. Lorelai rested her head in her hand, a smirk forming on her face. Her anger was becoming amusement.

Luke was angry and embarrassed, and regretted not having rocks on his roof. He got up, intent on yelling to them about respecting privacy. Lorelai put her hand on his arm and stopped him.

"Don't," she told him. "They mean well."

"What do we do?" he asked. "I can't…now," he managed to say. The knowledge that the whole town was down there, aware of what was going on, was worse than a bucket of ice water.

"Well, we could go over to the edge and wave like British Royalty," Lorelai suggested. "We could pretend we were the Beatles and play them a song, but since we have no instruments, that might not work so well." She looked around the roof. "I don't see any hot oil or rocks, so that's out of the question."

The applause had died down. "You think they're still there?" Luke asked.

"Most likely."

They sat in silence for a while. Lorelai put her right hand in Luke's. He squeezed. 

"Do we need to talk?" he asked.

Lorelai shook her head. "I don't. I know what's going on."

"You do?" She looked confident, but her hand was trembling.

"Yeah. I want you."

"Good," Luke said. "I, you know…uh," he hated talking, "want you too."

Lorelai grinned. "I know."

Luke shrugged. "Okay. Just so we're clear."

Lorelai raised an eyebrow. "Just so we know what's going on," she confirmed.

"Right."

They sat on the roof, hand in hand, waiting for the group gathered below to lose interest or get tired and walk away. On the sidewalk below, everyone had tilted their heads, straining to hear sounds from the roof. 

Taylor walked by, the fireworks done, the festivities officially over. He saw twenty or so people standing in front of Luke's, all their heads tilted, not saying a word. He eyed them strangely.

"What's going on?"

***

Anyone else have Marvin Gaye in their head?

Not the song, but the man himself. A tiny, shrunken Marvin Gaye singing in my brain. I need sleep.

Reviews are appreciated and treasured. And no, for once, I'm not being sarcastic! This is the last chapter I have written so now I have the daunting task of coming up with new stuff. Whimper. And I have no motivation b/c season 3 of Gilmore Girls HATES me and forces me to sit through 4 episodes of Rory and Dean and Jess and oh boy oh boy I couldn't care less.

Oh lord I just rhymed.


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